“Good.” “Do you remember the headmaster?” “Dumbledore.” “Do you remember what happened to him?” “He died,” Hermione said, squeezing her eyes shut. Although the details felt fuzzy, she was sure. “Yes. Do you remember the circ*mstances of his death?” “No. I remember—he was reinstated as headmaster after it was confirmed that Vold-Vold—You-Know-Who had returned.” “Interesting.” There was more scribbling. “What is it that you remember of the war?” “I was a healer. I was in the hospital ward. So many people I couldn’t save—I remember losing. Something—something didn’t work. Harry died. They—they hung him up off the Astronomy Tower, and we watched him rot. They—they hung Ron and his family next to him. And Tonks and Lupin. They tortured them until they died. Then they put me in that cell and left me there.” Hermione was shaking as she spoke. The hospital bed shook and made an angry creaking noise. The healer didn't appear to notice and scribbled more notes. “This is very unusual and interesting. I’ve never heard of a fugue state like this before. I’m anxious to hear what a specialist thinks.” “Glad to be so interesting,” Hermione said, her lip curling as she opened her eyes to glare at the healer. “Now now, dear. I’m not entirely callous. Look at it from a medical perspective. If there was anything in your past that would be logical for your mind to protect itself from, it would be the aftermath of the war—which you are clearly traumatized by. Instead, what did you subconsciously decide to protect? The identities of your parents, and the Order’s war strategy. Your magic didn’t choose to protect your psyche, it chose to protect everyone else. That is very interesting.”
MANACLED
BY: SENJINYU
never seen such a thing before. “What are those?” “My best guess is that they're magically created fugue st “What?” “At some point during your isolation, your magic began you. Since you couldn’t express any magic externally, it in You worked hard to keep yourself from, as you said, slippin mind is hardly equipped to handle such a thing. Your mag parts of your mind. As a result, it fragmented you somew fugue is general, but these appear almost surgically precise healing isn’t my specialty.” Hermione stared in horror. “Do you mean I—I disassociated?” “Something like that. I've never actually seen anything This might be a new magical malady.” “Do—I have multiple personalities?” Hermione felt su “No. You’ve simply isolated parts of your mind. I t intended to protect them from mental attacks, but by exten you from accessing them.” Hermione was reeling internally. “What—don’t I remember?” “Well, we aren’t entirely sure. You’ll have to be the one you’ve forgotten. What are your parents’ names?” Hermione paused a moment, trying to calculate if the qu on seeking a diagnosis or potentially to extract informatio from her face. “I don’t know,” she said, suddenly feeling as thou breathe. “I remember I had parents. They were—Mugg remember anything about them.” Struggling to tamp down on the panic rising inside o imploringly at the healer.
You were never removed from that room. Yet you have better muscle tone than half my healers. How on earth is that possible?” “When...I couldn’t—bear to think, I’d exercise—until I couldn’t anymore.” “What kind of exercises?” “Anything. Jumping. Pushups. Crunches. Anything—that tired me... So, I wouldn’t dream.” More scribbling. “What kind of dreams were you trying to avoid?” Hermione’s breath caught slightly. The other questions had been easy. That—that went too close to something real. “Dreams of before.” “Before?” “Before I came here.” Hermione’s voice was quiet. Furious. She closed her eyes; the light was giving her a severe migraine. “Of course.” More scribbling. The sound made Hermione’s muscles flinch reactively. “You’ll be here in the infirmary until the side effects from your torture sessions are fully relieved. I will also be bringing in a specialist to figure out what happened to your brain.” Hermione’s eyes snapped open. “Is there—," she hesitated. “Is there something—wrong with me?” The healer stared at her contemplatively before waving her wand of er Hermione’s head. “You were kept in sensory-deprived isolation for sixteen months. The fact you're lucid at all is a miracle. The effects of such an experience can hardly be avoided, especially given the circ*mstances prior to your arrival. I imagine you studied some healing during the war?” “Yes,” Hermione said, looking down at the blanket on her lap. It was threadbare and smelled so strongly of antiseptic she wanted to gag from the olfactory assault. “Then you know what a normal, healthy magical brain looks like. This is
DON’T WANT TO CHOOSE, I ALWA HAVE TO CHOOSE, AND I NEVER GE TO CHOOSE YOU. I’M SO TIRED OF N GETTING TO CHOOSE YOU."
"I
Publisher: AO3 Published: 2018-04-27 Completed: 2019-08-19 Words: 370,515 Chapters: 77/77 Rating: Explicit ACTIVE WARNING: RAPE/NON-CON; Graphic Depictions of Violence Category: F/M Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Relationship: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Characters: Hermione Granger
Draco Malfoy Dolores Umbridge Tom Riddle | Voldemort Astoria Greengrass Graham Montague
what it takes to succeed. I have worked longer and harder t than you have, Warden. I will not let anyone get in my way rest of them. The Dark Lord expects a report on eligibility and I’ve wasted half my day fixing your mistake.” A pair of footsteps faded. Umbridge’s, Hermione tho She cracked an eye open, trying to take in her surrounding “You’re awake.” Not surreptitiously enough. She opened her eyes fully the blurry outline of a healer standing over her. The healer study Hermione, and Hermione could make her out some brightness. An older woman, severe, with robes denoting m “So, you’re Hermione Granger.” Hermione wasn’t sure how to respond to the commen conversation hadn’t shed light on what was wanted wi important to some dreadful machination of Voldem supposed to be dead or insane, and they wanted her health weren’t supposed to torture her horribly again. She stayed quiet, hoping the healer was the sort who k people failed to respond. She was disappointed. “I’ll have to ask you, since no one else seems to know. alive? How did you manage to stay sane?” “I...d-don’t—know...” Hermione answered after wa moments. Her voice sounded deeper and wobblier than s Her vocal chords felt atrophied. It was difficult to p consonants slurred together and then paused as though it r push them out. “I did—mental arithmancy... I... recited p best... to keep from—slipping.” “Remarkable,” the healer murmured, scribbling notes how did you survive? There’s no record of anyone feed you’ve been perfectly maintained nutritionally.” “I—don’t...know. Food appeared. There was neve
herself to the surface, moving toward muffled voices, trying to make sense of them. “Sixteen months in solitary confinement with light and sound deprivation! By all counts she should be entirely insane, if not dead. There aren’t even any records on her! As if you dropped her into a bottomless pit! Look at this file. Prisoner 187 in the bed next door! Do you see how many pages there are? Checkups! Blood reports! Mental health sessions! Prescribed potions! I even have pictures of her to see how she looked before you maimed her. This one here—nothing! She was recorded as being assigned to this prison, and then she vanished! No one has seen her! There isn’t even any record of her eating anything! For sixteen months! Explain how this happened!” There was a pause, and then Hermione heard, “Ahem-hem.” Umbridge’s simpering voice began wheedling, “There are so many prisoners here. It can hardly be surprising if one or two manage to fall through the cracks as Miss Granger did.” “Miss—Granger—,“ the other voice was suddenly horrified and stuttering. “As in THE Granger? You knew it was her! You tried to kill her.” “What? No! I would never—It is for the Dark Lord to decide their fates. I am merely a servant.” “Did you really think our Lord would forget about a prisoner like Hermione Granger? Do you think he will be forgiving if he learns what you did?” “I didn’t mean for it to go on so long! It was meant simply as a temporary situation. You don’t know her. You don’t know what she’s capable of. I had to be sure she couldn’t escape or reach out. The castle was still being rewarded. Then—then by the time all the preparations had been made— She—she had slipped from my mind. I would never defy our Lord!” “The success of the enterprise our Lord has assigned rests upon your head and mine. If I discover so much as a hint that you have done anything else to undermine his agenda, I will report you immediately to him. As it is,
“A miscast spell,” the healer explained. “Someone w alive, but fortunately for you their curse was incomplete. I cancelled it. You’re welcome.” Hermione said nothing. She doubted any of it was for h “Well. You’re cleared. Eligible too. I think we'll get quit of you. Although that cruciatus will probably require som you’ll recover from it. I’ll put in a note.” With a flick of his wand, the straps around her wrists an Hermione sat up slowly. Her muscles were still twitching i Opening the door, the healer called out, “She passed. her.” He walked over to his desk. Everything was weirdly luminous. She squinted. So hardly see past the light to make out the shapes around he Reaching up with a shaky hand, she pulled the gag fr teeth. They immediately started chattering. She realized tha terribly cold. Too cold. The guard was approaching her, reaching for her arm She slid off the table and tried to stand. She wobbled. “Siiiiir...” Was that her voice? She didn’t remember what her voic The words came out slurred, and all the luminous obj seemed to stretch and distort before her eyes as if she’d be a goldfish bowl. The healer turned back toward her quizzic “I thinnn’ k mmmmm going ‘nto sshhh—" The words come out through her chattering teeth. She tried again shhhhhhoooooock...” Darkness suddenly started seeping into the edges of h luminous things faded until all she could see was the healer swimming before her. Her eyes rolled back, and she fell.
thrashed. The straps holding her down barely stopped her from arching backward as she writhed, and rocked, and wailed in agony. It seemed like an eternity before she could stop thrashing. Long after her voice had given out. Her muscles still twitched violently, and her chest heaved with sobs. “Alright. You can go now,” the healer said as he prodded Hermione again with his wand. “But tell Umbridge if another one arrives like this, I will report her for sabotage.” Hermione cracked an eye open and watched the guards leave. Her vision blurred. Everything was so agonizingly bright, but she could make out vague shapes and the light hurt less. Or rather, other things hurt more than her eyes did. ermione had long given up hope of seeing in The healer returned to her. He was a large man. She didn’t recognize For a time, she thought maybe if she just le him. She squinted, trying to see him clearly. eventually some faint outline would become v “Oh good, you’re tracking movement.” He turned her wrist to get the There were no glimmers of moonlight slipping throug prison number from the manacle. “Number 273...” dungeons. No torches in the hallways outside the cell. Jus He pulled a narrow file off a shelf and furrowed his brow as he skimmed darkness, until she wondered sometimes if she might be bl it. She had explored every inch of the cell with her finge “Mudblood, obviously. Hogwarts student. Oh, very good marks. sealed Hmmm. Unknown curse to the abdomen in fifth year. Not a very good sign. with magic, had no lock to pick, even if she had an and a chamber pot. She smelled the air in the hopes i Well, we’ll see what we have to work with.” the season, the distant scent of food or potio He performed a complex diagnostic spell over her. She watchedsomething, her stale, wet, cold. Lifeless. magical signature float overhead and various orbs of color arrange She had hoped if she just checked carefully enough, s themselves along her body. slab-stone in the wall; some secret compartment hiding a The healer prodded them and scribbled notes. He was particularly or even a bit of rope. Apparently, the cell had never he interested in her abdomen, especially an orb tinged with purple. prisoner. No scratches to mark time. No loose stones. No “What—," she rasped around the gag still between her teeth, “—what Nothing but darkness. are you looking at?” “Hmm? Oh, a variety of things; your physical health, mostly. You're She in couldn’t even talk aloud to relieve the unending sil Umbridge’s parting gift after they had dragged her into the remarkably good condition. Where have they been keeping you? Although her manacles one last time. none of that matters if I can’t figure out this old curse you’re still carrying.” had been about to leave when Umbridge paused He worked in silence for several more minutes before chuckling. WithThey a “Silencio.”
CHAPTER ONE
H
interrogations. Just dark, silent solitude. wasn’t the strongest caster Hermione had been cursed by, Meals appeared. Randomized so she couldn’t even keep track of time. The pain tore through Hermione like fire. Unable to move She recited potion recipes in her head. Transfiguration technique. insides were twisting into knots, trying to escape the Reviewed runes. Nursery rhymes. Her fingers flicked as she mimicked wand throbbed as the pain built and built without any release. techniques, mouthing the spell inflection. She counted backwards fromAfter a an eternity, the pain stopped, and yet didn’t. The thousand by subtracting prime numbers. but the agony remained coiled inside, as though her nerves She started working out. It had apparently not occurred to anyone to Hermione could feel her brain scrabbling to escape; to restrict her physically, and the cell was spacious enough that she could suspended agony. Just break. Just break. But she couldn’t. cartwheel diagonally across it. She learned how to do handstands. Spent “Take her up for appraisal. Let me know promptly what what felt like hours doing push-ups and things called burpees that her cousin She was levitated, but the world remained a blur of sou had been obsessed with one summer. She found that she could slot hermuch feet sound. It felt as though the vibrations were grating through the bars of the cell door and do crunches while hanging upside She must have been kept inside a barrier ward because down. exploded with noise and light. It helped turn her mind off. Counting. Pushing herself to new physical She tried to hold on by focusing only on the tap of fo limits. When her arms and legs turned to jelly, she’d slump down into a paces. A right. Thirty paces. A left. Fifteen paces. for ten corner and fall into a dreamless sleep. guards levitating her rapped on a door. It was the only way to make the end of the war stop playing in front of “Come in,” said a muffled voice. her eyes. The door grated open. Sometimes she wondered if she was dead. Maybe it was hell. Darkness “Put her over there.” and loneliness and nothing but her worst memories hanging before her eyes Hermione felt her body drop onto an examination tabl for forever. She felt a wand prod her. When there finally was a noise, it felt deafening. The screech in the “Recent spell work?” distance as a long-abandoned door swung open. Then light. Blinding, “Immobilization and the cruciatus,” answered a new blinding light. thought she recognized it, but her mind was too awhirl wit It was like being stabbed. it. She stumbled back into the corner and covered her eyes. “While immobilized?” The healer sounded peeved. “H “She's still alive,” she heard Umbridge say, sounding surprised. “Get her “A minute. Maybe more.” up, let’s see if she’s still lucid.” A hiss of irritation. “We hardly have enough as it is. Is Rough hands dragged Hermione from the corner and tried to pulltoher ruin them? Strap her down. She’ll injure herself otherwis hands away from her eyes. Even with her eyelids squeezed tightly shut, the off." spells pain from the sudden brightness felt like knives driving into her corneas. Hermione felt leather straps bind her wrists and ankle
Umbridge with expressions of bored amusem*nt. acclimate to light and sound again and undergo the therap “The Dark Lord has commanded that you be trained in order to your fulfilltorture recovery and that concussion you got during y your duties without fail. This is a great honor he has bestowed upon you; The healer started to walk away but then paused. you do not want to disappoint him. You are important to the Dark Lord. “I hope my saying this is unnecessary, but I suppose g Because of that, you must be protected from others as well as and fromhistory I should say it nonetheless. You are at a cros yourselves.” Miss Granger. What will happen to you next is inevitable Umbridge’s smile suddenly sharpened, showing a malicious edge.choice She in how unpleasant you force it to be.” gestured toward the back, and Yaxley and Rowle came forward. Umbridge With that parting—advice? A threat? A warning? H turned to the prison guards lined up along a wall. entirely sure. The healer disappeared behind the dividing c “Stun them all. Be thorough about it.” Hermione glanced around at her surroundings carefull A few of the seated women cringed or tried to shy away, but most Hogwarts. of She had been changed out of her prison clot them barely moved as guards started hexing them. The bodies slumped hospital pajamas. Pulling up the sleeves, she noted with disa down in the chairs or fell forward onto the ground. no one had made the mistake of taking off the manacles loc Hermione was standing toward the back. She watched the girls fall.wrist. She recognized a handful of them; Hannah Abbott, Parvati Patil, Angelina She held a wrist up in front of her face to inspect them Johnson, Katie Bell, Cho Chang, and Romilda Vane. Hermione thought snapped onto her immediately before she had been impris some of the others might have been in the older and younger years andinshe had never gotten a chance to really see what they l Hogwarts. There were a few slightly older women too, although no one who In the light, they simply appeared to be a pair of brace appeared over thirty. There were nearly a hundred of them. wrist. They shone like a new penny. They were copper-p Umbridge saw Hermione standing toward the back. guessed. “Stun her too,” Umbridge said, glaring venomously at Hermione. In the darkness of her cell, she had spent an untold amou They hesitated. to ascertain exactly what they were. The simple answe Healer Stroud appeared from the periphery of Hermione's vision. suppressed her magic. How exactly they did so, and ho “Do it,” she said with a sharp nod of approval. around them while blind and mute had taken much though Hermione was knocked out before she could brace herself. When she finally admitted to herself that it was impossi “Rennervate.” them, she began to figure out how they worked. Hermione sat up groggily. She'd been moved, and found herself lying She both hated and admired whoever had developed beside the rest of the girls. positive by the way the copper conducted her magic that t They were laid out in rows. Some were still unconscious, and the guards heartstring core in each of them, possibly even taken from went down the line waking them. Others were sitting, staring at the manacles The manacles felt specifically attuned to her. around their wrists. Hermione looked down at her own. The magical In her cell during all her attempts to wield wandless m
of magic that it detected whether it was meant to or not. Spells exploded and outkept from further attempts. of copper wands before a wizard could finish casting. They could barely She lay quietly in the bed and schemed. touch the wands without having them go off. Two blown up wand labs and The days passed slowly. None of the prisoners brought the loss of four toes convinced wand makers to try something otherwing thandared speak to Hermione with the guards constantly copper. Healers arrived several times a day to appraise and trea The core of the manacles, Hermione felt positive, was iron. The copper vials of blood and a bit of hair away for analysis. A therapi paired with dragon heartstring snatched up her magic and then deposited Hermione it for the torture. For the tremors. into the iron core where it was effectively neutralized. Eventually most of the intermittent spasming stopp The ingenuity made her seethe. fingers still tended to twitch spastically at unexpected soun Iron manacles were common enough in Wizarding prisons. They She wasn’t used to noise anymore. dampened magic enough to keep prisoners from casting anything powerful. She remembered life being full of noise in the past; in It had always been impossible to fully neutralize a witch or wizard’s magic in the hospital ward after battles. Now any unexpected s with iron. They could always push a little bit of magic past it or just off-guard. let it The banging of a door or clatter of boots, the so build up until a wave of accidental magic exploded from them. The copper them—they felt like physical sensations on her flesh. solved that. With its eager conductivity, especially aided with a magical core She’d twitch. matching the prisoner’s wand, the copper sucked up almost every bit of The nervous mind healer came frequently with Healer S building magic inside Hermione. Hermione’s brain and psychological condition. There were It effectively made her a Muggle. her overall stability. They’d cast simulation spells on her she’d react to crowds, tight spaces, physical contact, gore. to mentally snap, they wanted her to do it in the hospital w Apparently, despite the twitching, Hermione was re enough. When the most severe torture tremors stopped a therapy, they decided she was ready for training. On the fifth day, she was released from the hospital w took her straight to the Great Hall. There were rows and rows of chairs arranged facing the The chairs were filled with women dressed in drab grey dr Umbridge was standing on the platform in the fron saccharine cheer. She was dressed in a subdued shade of pendant hanging from her neck. One of her hands was hea “You have been chosen to help build the future that ou
Now it had come. Death had never frightened Hermione. Her fear had always been in the manner of death. She had watched the worst ways to go. Harry’s death had been a mercy killing compared to the torture the Weasleys, Remus and Tonks had been subjected to. Lucius Malfoy had been standing mere feet from where Hermione was caged when he looked up at Ron and snarled “This is for my wife!” Then he cast a curse that turned Ron’s blood gradually into molten lead. Hermione watched as the curse slowly crept through Ron’s body, destroying him from the inside out. She’d been helpless to do anything—helpless to spare him in any way. ermione…” she heard someone breathe. Arthur Weasley had been left permanently addled by a curse during the Looking up sharply from her manacles, war. He cried, not even understanding why he was in pain or that he was poking through the dividing curtain. She squ dying. It was Hannah Abbott. They had left Molly for last. So she’d watch all her children die. A low gasp of horror escaped Hermione’s lips. Remus had lasted hours longer than anyone else. His lycanthropy kept Hannah only had one eye. healing him until he just hung there, unresponsive. Finally someone shot the Her right eye was staring at Hermione, but her left eye Killing Curse at him out of boredom. was The deaths had replayed themselves before Hermione’s eyes so manya black, gaping hole in her head as though it had been time she would have thought that eventually the pain of them would ease.Hannah’s hand immediately darted up and covered th face. It never did. “Sorry. It’s always awful for people the first time they s Each time felt just as sharp. Just as fresh. “What—happened?” Hermione forced the words out. A wound that would never heal. Survivor’s guilt, she thought, that was the Muggle term for it. SuchShe a didn’t know of any curse that removed eyes in such were paltry description. It didn’t capture even a fraction of the breadth of agonyplenty of blinding hexes, but none with such grotesqu “Umbridge—she popped it out with the tip of her wan in her soul. tried For Hermione, being bred by a Death Eater was a fate that had neverto escape. She made the healers keep it like this. For turned even occurred to her. Being raped—the risk had been considered. This felt her head slightly away to conceal her face further. “She got into trouble for it though.” Hannah lowered like rape in slow motion. However, the situation was far more complex than she was gazing at the floor. Her voice sounded as if she wa simply that. Whatever she had hidden in her mind, it had been important. “She More important to her than anything else. She couldn’t let it fall intonormally cuts off fingers now. If you’re disrespectful away. If you look at her wrong. Parvati and Angelina, they
CHAPTER TWO
H
Hannah raised her own copper encased wrist, “they’ve got a trace in them. If you get past the wards, they send the High Reeve and hang the corpse in the Great Hall so that we all have to watch it decay.” Hermione felt as though she’d been struck violently in the chest. Her fingers spasmed against the fabric of the blanket covering her. She could barely breathe. “Who?” “Ginny. She was the first body they brought back. We all thought maybe you had actually gotten out. Because you disappeared. We didn’t realize they’d just put you somewhere else...” Hannah’s voice trailed off, and she stared at Hermione. “You don’t even know why they brought you out, do you?” he bed Hannah had occupied was empty whe Hermione shook her head. returned to the hospital ward in Hogwarts. “The guards talk a lot. After the war, we all expected the Dark Lord Healer Stroud poured a potion down Herm would start enslaving the Muggles. But—it turns out his ranks were more soon as she was placed in the bed. The pain in Hermione exhausted than we realized. Apparently being immortal makes him patient. slightly. She blinked, and the dancing black spots that ke He decided that repopulating the ranks of pure-blood wizards should be first on his agenda. He personally paired off all the pure-bloods. Made vision them finally started to fade away. Hermione felt nauseous. Her insides were roiling and all get married with orders to start reproducing.” had Hannah’s face was twisted with disdain as she recited this information. poison inside that her body couldn’t expel. She was wanted to roll over and curl into a ball, but she could Hermione’s eyebrows furrowed with surprise. A repopulation effort? strength to manage it. The war had dragged on with high casualties given the size of the wizarding “Guard her with your lives. If anyone wants to touch h population, but Hermione hadn’t thought Voldemort would notice, much less care. Arranged marriages weren’t exactly uncommon among look pure-at her, they will require permission from me,” she hea say. bloods—but having them mandated seemed extreme. She wondered how Hermione turned and could vaguely make out two lar his followers had felt. “There were—barely any babies. Pure-blood fertility rates have behind been Stroud. Their eyes were cold as they stared down a Stroud cast several monitor wards on Hermione dropping for years. There were a few pregnancies that set everyone abuzz. shimmering around her body. After she had inspected the Most ended up squib and got terminated before the end. Or miscarried. fewofminutes, Stroud turned and strode away, her healer ro Well,“—Hannah’s voice grew bitter—“apparently facing the extinction behind her. the European wizarding world has opened the Dark Lord’s mind somewhat stared up at the ceiling, trying to absorb eve in regard to blood purity. Magic is might, you know. He’s decided to startHermione a happened to her that day.
CHAPTER THREE
T
“His wife has been found magically barren, has she not?” That healer you were speaking to—she’s the head of t The question was directed toward Healer Stroud. Apparently she specializes in magical genetics. We’re her “Yes, My Lord,” she answered immediately. checking everyone’s fertility.” “Then send the Mudblood to the High Reeve. Let him breed and Hannah was crying now. Hermione stared at her, f monitor her.” shock. It couldn’t be true. It was all just too horribly Stroud nodded eagerly. “I can have her there in two weeks. I want nightmare to she was dreaming up inside her cell. ensure her condition and have her trained.” “We—have to get out,” Hermione said in as steady a v “Two weeks. Until she is found pregnant, I want her brought in manage. every other month so I can examine her mind personally.” Hannah shook her head. “Yes, My Lord.” “We can’t. Didn’t you hear me earlier? Unless you ca “Take her back to Hogwarts, then.” Voldemort dismissed them with hands, a you’ll never be able to leave with those manacles. wave of his hand. keep the trace here. Angelina lost her pointer finger to fi Hermione’s body was still spasming slightly as the restraints on herDark were Lord keeps it personally. That’s why whenever anyo spelled off. She felt as though she ought to do—something. Spit. Or refuse. always the High Reeve who goes after them. “ Or—beg. Hannah looked quickly around, tilting her head to get Anything but just lie there while Voldemort casually delegated her view offof the floor beyond the privacy curtains. for breeding. Hermione followed Hannah's gaze. There was nothing Her body refused to cooperate. She couldn’t do anything as careless “Who? Who is the High Reeve?” Hermione asked. She hands dragged her up off the table and levitated her down a hallway. that title. Hannah looked up. “I don’t know. None of us hav without his mask. Everyone talks about him. He’s the D hand. Voldemort doesn’t go out much, so the High Reeve They held public executions a few weeks ago—more tha He killed every single one with the Killing Curse. He didn’ just went straight down the line. No one has even seen th that many in a row.” “That—shouldn’t be possible,” Hermione said, sh doubtfully. Hannah leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I kno the bodies after he catches the runners. He always McGonagall, Moody, Neville, Dean, Seamus, Professor
trying to warn you. It’s hell. You need to be prepared for that because—if when you assigned it to me, will be a delicate task, comp you aren’t—you’re going to walk out there and get maimed, and it won’t even without the addition of a prisoner who requires car even mean anything.” I—am reluctant to disappoint you in either of these matter Hannah seemed about to say something else, but footsteps sounded hand on his chest and bowed again. beyond the curtains. An expression of terror rippled across her face, and the Voldemort paused and seemed to be considering, rest dividing curtain fell as she retreated. the table beside Hermione and leaning over to study her. A The curtain on the other side of Hermione snapped open, and the healer a movement on Hermione’s other side caught her atten from earlier reappeared, looking harried. healer in charge of Voldemort’s breeding program had app “The Dark Lord wants to watch your examination himself,” the healer whispering a question to the mind healer. said, reaching out and grabbing Hermione’s arm forcefully. “M-My Lord,” the mind healer said, stepping hesitantl Hermione tried instinctively to get away. She jerked her arm out of Stroud the has brought to my attention a p-point that m-m-ma healer's grip and dropped off the other side of the bed in order to create “Yes?” Voldemort’s interest appeared negligible. He distance. toward either healer. “Oh, you stupid little witch.” The healer sighed, and gestured to “Magical pregnancy, My Lord,” Healer Stroud said wit someone standing out of Hermione's vision. “Stun her and bring her.”“There are a few cases on record which indicate that such Two guards appeared from behind the curtain and shot two successive an ability to break through magical fugues. The mag stunners at Hermione. The first she dodged, but the second nickedcompatible her but dissimilar enough to its mother’s to have a shoulder. She dropped like a stone. on built up magic. It’s nothing conclusive, given the rar When she re-awoke, she was strapped down on a table in a dark hall.however. Her Miss Granger has exceptional magical ability—yo arms and legs were restrained, still twitching from torture. More straps this wentand wanted her included in the repopulation effort. over her forehead and chin, holding her head in place. There was a within small the program, there is a chance that a pregnanc wizard standing on one side of her. Voldemort himself was standing on unlocking the her memories. But—,“ she hesitated slightly. other. “What?” Voldemort looked up sharply at Healer Strou The small wizard was speaking in a thin, trembling voice, gesturing pale up atand flinch. a projection of Hermione’s brain. “You—you would be unable to inspect her mind during “It—it’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen b-before. Normally magical Healer m- Stroud said, speaking quickly. “Invasive magics su m-memory loss occurs q-q-quite generally across the brain when it is s-s-self carry a high risk of miscarriage. It's often so traumatic tha generated. A p-person can’t even tell you their name. But this is t-targeted. permanent magical infertility. You would have to wait, even Like obviation spells. A dissociative fugue, or in this case m-many of them. memories were returning, until the baby was born. Unless Almost like self-obviation. Her magic has hidden specific memories inside would share a familiar magical signature with the child what I can only describe as almost a c-c-calcification of magical layers. performing It the legilimency.”
Snape turned from Hermione and lowered his eyes. “To be honest, My Voldemort’s eyes were narrowed. “Could these memor Lord, the Mudblood and I had very little contact during later years of with thelegilimency?” war. The Order meetings I was privy to are all there. The little else I knew The small wizard looked more nervous. Faint droplet of her was that she was kept away from the fighting, acting as a healerhad andcollected on his upper lip. potion mistress. Those memories appear intact. I am at a loss as to what she “It’s—it’s unlikely. This is like an individual occl could be hiding.” exceptional strength around each specific memory. It’s— “If the Order had any remaining secrets left, I want to know them,” the legilimens is sufficiently p-p-powerful.” Voldemort said, his scarlet eyes narrowing. “I like to think I am,” Voldemort said, looking down “Indeed,” Snape said, his tone silken and demure. “Unfortunately, eyes. mostShe squeezed them shut instantly, but it was too late. of the highly informed Order members are dead now. Either during the final She thought—she might have known occlumency b battle, or from torture or escape attempts. Aside from Miss Granger herself, magic mostly stolen away, she had no ability to create a there is likely no one else still alive carrying the information.” mind. Voldemort shot in like an arrow, burying himself d Voldemort stared down at Hermione. His red eyes were enragedmemories and and then sifting slowly through them. It was as calculating as he ran a finger slowly along his mouth. Then he looked sharply were being crushed under his. over at the mind healer. Her childhood. Hogwarts. He wasn’t concerned w “Is there any way to recover these memories?” Voldemort said, his wand memories of her parents. After fifth year, when everythin hanging from his fingertips with casual menace. interest sharpened. He examined her memories of healing. “Well, th-that’s very difficult t-to s-s-say.” The healer paled. “It’sAll p-pthose injuries. So many people. The closer he got to th possible. Now that the circ*mstances causing it-have been removed. the Withmore memories were locked. He tried driving into t-t-time, th-they may restore themselves.” stabbing his way through the magic with sheer force. Non “What about torture? I have broken through to obliviated memoriesgive withaway to his violent, insistent attacks. torture in the past.” It was breaking her. The force was mind-numbin The mind healer looked green.“It m-m-might work. B-b-but—there’d somehow be the pain continued to increase until it felt imp no telling which ones you’d unlock. You m-m-might only get a f-few wasn’t b- dying from it. Hermione was writhing as she sought before she went insane.” escape the invasion. Screaming surrounded her and just ke Voldemort stared speculatively down at Hermione. “Then I wanton,her and on. watched. Carefully. By someone who will know the instant they begin to Finally Voldemort withdrew from her mind. Furious. Sh return. Severus, I shall leave her in your charge.” aware that the screams had been hers. By then, they had “Of—course, My Lord.” Snape bowed low. tiny mewling wails of pain past shredded vocal chords. G “You object?” Voldemort using his wand tip to force Snape upright. kept Hechoking out as her chest kept spasming from pain, a tilted Snape's head back until their eyes met. to breathe.
and barely conscious on the table. his lipless mouth. Umbridge arrived first, looking appropriately terrified. “Of course. She was an insufferable student to teach.” S “My Lord, my Lord,” she said, dropping to the ground and crawling to survey Hermione, who was still strapped down on the t toward him. “Indeed, and a good friend of Harry Potter, the “ Crucio .” Voldemort cast the curse, his fury evident in his tone. Voldemort said, caressing his wand lightly. “She was also Umbridge screamed. She screamed, and screamed, and writhed on Order the as I’m sure you recall from your many years as my s ground. Hermione almost felt sorry for her. died, she was captured, and I ordered her imprisoned but After several minutes, he finally stopped. I ever had need of her. Unfortunately, the warden at Ho “Did you think, Warden, that following the letter but not the spirit of dole my out her own punishment for past offenses. She commands would spare you?” Mudblood all this time in a cell under sensory deprivation. Umbridge only whimpered. Snape’s eyes widened slightly. “I knew of your dislike for the Mudblood, but I had hoped your Voldemort rested a hand on Snape's shoulder. “Accor obedience to me would be sufficient motivation for you to restrain yourself. healers, the experience enabled the Mudblood to lock awa Perhaps you need a permanent reminder.” Sealing them off from herself and from me. The identities “My Lord—” which is of no consequence. More vitally, a great many me “What is that punishment you’re so fond of doling out among war, yourparticularly near the end. This memory loss occurred a charges? Knuckles, isn’t it? Tell me, Warden, how many fingers will youafter havethe war had ended. What is it that she would be hid left if I take a knuckle for each month you spent trying to drivemenace the in Voldemort’s low sinuous voice. He paused fo Mudblood insane?” then looked down at Hermione. “Perhaps as someone who “Noooooooo.” Umbridge voice rose in a shriek. She was still shaking that time, you would have some insight into what is missin and spasming on the ground. “Of course, My Lord.” “Perhaps I should be lenient,” Voldemort said, walking slowly toward Hermione found Snape’s cold, bottomless eyes peering her as she sniveled and groveled at his feet. “Your work has been mostly didn’t have any strength left to try resisting as he good. Instead of sixteen, I’ll halve it. Eight knuckles as a reminder I said consciousness. I wanted Potter’s Mudblood left fully intact.” He didn’t bother with her early memories. He went di “Pleeeease...” Umbridge was pushing herself up off the ground, sobbing. and swept through the memories quickly but thoroughly. H Severus Snape swept into the room. specific categories he pursued. Healing. Potion brewing. “What’s wrong? Unable to endure consequences of your own devising?” Research. Conversations with Harry and Ron. Fighting. Voldemort sneered, and waved a hand as he turned away from Umbridge. Whenever Snape came upon a locked memory, he seem “Take her away. Drop her back at her prison when you’re done.” consider its surroundings before trying to break into it. Two Death Eaters came forward and dragged Umbridge from the room His invasion was dramatically less traumatic than V
After standing there for several minutes, trying, and failing to were forceso closely-fitted she couldn’t peer under to discern w herself to move, she abruptly sobbed and huddled closer to the door. clear—the reason they had been stunned was in order to rem She couldn’t remember the last time she had cried. Long ago in herthe cell. manacles. Presumably with something worse than what As she stood there shaking and hyperventilating in the hallway ofbeen. that empty wing of the manor, she cried. Over everyone who was dead now. For The clock on the wall indicated that hours had passed s everyone Malfoy had killed. For all the girls back at Hogwarts being sent had outstarted. Whatever the process had been, it had taken ti into a world of horror. Out of rage over the manacles locked around her A large table had appeared in the Great Hall, covered w wrists, and the manacles she found she had somehow locked around her It couldn’t have been a more obvious trap. own mind. Everyone stood cautiously and just stared. She went back into her room, closed the door, sank onto the floor, and “Come forward,” Umbridge said in a coaxing voice, kept crying. beside the table. “Come on. Come see.” It took her a full day before she could force herself into the hallway again. No one moved. She was determined to make herself overcome the panic. The next Umbridge looked disappointed. She had clearly hoped morning, she opened the door wide, crouched on the bed, and made herself be foolish enough to rush toward the table and try arming stare at the hallway until her heart stopped pounding painfully in her chest “You there. Come here.” Umbridge pointed at a gi from the mere sight. Hermione thought the girl might have been in Hermione She would lose all chance of escape if she couldn’t even walk out of sheher thought, from Slytherin. room without having a mental breakdown. The girl obeyed slowly, cringing in apprehension. She sat in bed and ate the breakfast that appeared while she contemplated “Lift something up,” Umbridge ordered her. the problem. Mafalda reached forward slowly, but when her hand It had manifested when she was alone. She wasn’t sure if it was because centimeters of a knife, she abruptly snatched it back with a the manacles’ compulsion to be obedient had previously distracted her from Umbridge smiled in triumph. it or if it were an insidious form of mental trauma; that being imprisoned for “Everyone now, come reach. See what happens.” so long had damaged her to the point that being controlled by others was The women all shuffled forward reluctantly. Hermion the only way she knew how to function now. growing dread, her mind speculating. There must have bee She hoped it was simply the manacles, but she feared it was the latter. added to the manacles; something that prevented them fr Imprisonment had eaten away at her psyche in ways she felt afraid oftofully certain objects. realizing. She extended her hand from a considerable distance She steeled herself. She was determined to overcome it. Whatever it slowly. took. When her fingers were within ten centimeters of When her dinner appeared that evening, she made herself eat it table, while a burning sensation began enveloping them. She pull sitting by the open door. Her hands shook so much she dropped half bitterly. the Her options if she needed to resort to suicide
set.
witch stood studying Hermione with a knowing look. Hermione looked down and fidgeted them again. Hermione feigned innocence and walked back into the “These new bracelets will keep you safe and ensure the households you Within an hour, there was nothing left to possibly insp are sent to can take good care of you. The head of each household will Not carrythat Hermione expected she could find anything o a charm that allows them to always find you and know if you are ever in trouble any with the piercing supervision of the portrait on th danger. Given“—Umbridge smiled sweetly,—“the dangerous, volatile had been apparently ordered to watch Hermione like a haw nature common among Muggles, they will keep you from committing any Hermione went to the door of the bedroom, and, a acts of violence on anyone, including yourselves. They will help you hesitation, to she turned the knob and walked into the hallwa unwaveringly obey the Dark Lord in this generous opportunity he has given Her heart immediately began pounding. you.” The sense of terror and freedom that she experienced b Several women were audibly sobbing. into another room by herself was staggering. As she pull “These are such important wizards that you will be serving, after all. behind We herself, she leaned against the door and tried to tak don’t want any mistakes or accidents inconveniencing them.” Her fingers twitched around the doorknob as she glan A barrier charm, possibly some kind of compulsion spell, and pairedtried withto compose herself. a monitor enchantment—that was what Hermione felt under the The long hallway that vanished into darkness felt so—o manacles—a monitor piece, tracking her physical well-being. She swallowed nervously. She had assumed some eff Monitor enchantments were commonly used in the psych wards imprisonment of would continue to haunt her. Actually exp hospitals to alert healers when patients were likely to injure themselves more or than unsettling. It was horrifying. act out. It tracked heart rate and hormones, picking up spikes and surges. Her attempts to breathe and calm down were failing. H Complex ones even tapped slightly into the consciousness. It wasn’t in mind tiny, rapid inhalations. reading exactly, but it gave an impression on the wearer’s state and The only sound in the cold, dark wing of the manor. inclinations. She bit her lip. Her mind—she had always been able t Trying to commit suicide or escape without any type of weapon, trapped Even her locked memories felt like a defense mechanism under a sort of compulsion spell, without any mental indication or spike panicking in and hyperventilating because she had walked into heart rate—it would be nearly impossible. own volition— Hermione stood frozen in the Great Hall as she absorbed it. This was a betrayal. The days merged together into a haze of dread. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to breathe evenly. They were trained. hand free from the doorknob she was clutching desperate Umbridge would hold what looked like a small lantern and issue would an drown if she let go of it. instruction. When she finished speaking, the lantern would glow slightly and Her ability to reason and tell herself she was alright the manacles would grow warm as magic sank in. persuasion to her mind and body.
You will not resist when bedded. After being bedded you will not move for ten minutes. You will do everything to get pregnant quickly and produce health You will not have sex with any man but the one designated. As the days passed, Hermione could see the effect of th the other women. They grew quieter and quieter. During the first few hushed whispers at night. By the third day, the rooms w aside from the muffled sobbing. Hermione was kept slightly apart from all the others. T a guard flanking her. ermione explored the room she had been placed in. There was Umbridge stayed far away from Hermione, although her little to it that hadn’t immediately met the eye. toward Hermione in triumph each time a new compulsion The wardrobe was filled with more of the same scarlet Whatever the Dark magic being used to enable the comp dresses and robes that she was currently wearing. They were in various it was delicate. With each new instruction, the healers wo weights, presumably for summer and winter weather. The drawersrun helddiagnostics over the girls. more bonnets and woolen stockings. More flimsy red shoes. One day, one of the girls abruptly snapped and stood u Hermione pulled a pair out of the drawer and stared at them. The seized soles her chair and whipped it up into the air before smash were thin, and they were fabric; they would wear through rapidly. Iftheshe woman beside her. By the time the guards had stunne wanted to run, she’d have to steal new clothes and shoes. girl and dragged her away, the woman’s shoulder was shatt The portrait on the wall was of a young witch. Pretty and blonde. There may have been further instructions planned, but Undoubtedly one of Malfoy’s ancestors. She had the same sharp features Healer Stroud decided that what had been programmed wi and disdainful expression. The witch couldn’t have been more than just Hermione lay in the dark each night and plotted. graduated from Hogwarts when she was painted. She stared indifferently If at she couldn’t escape, her best hope would be of dy Hermione, seated casually in a high backed chair, a book beside her. point of the High Reeve. Eventually Hermione turned away and surveyed the rest of the room. He was, from what Hermione had been able to gath There was a door designed to blend into the wall across the room. She murder. went If she could provoke him to act without thinking, over and opened it. before he could stop himself. A bathroom, primarily occupied by a large claw-foot tub. No shower. If she—succeeded, Voldemort might then kill the Hig Nothing but the most essential objects were provided: soap, towels, a the world a better place by far. toothbrush, a small cup for water. She would have to be quick about it. Clever. If he Hermione walked over and washed her hands. As she withdrew them,
CHAPTER FIVE
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noose around both their necks. danger, defenselessness, malice, hatred, and spite. “Strip,” Umbridge said several days later. What she needed. What she had. Hermione wasn’t sure if it was the compulsion or merely the futility of She had to reverse her fortune. resistance that caused her to obey automatically. She watched the runes fade away from the glass as t Probably both. evaporated back into the room. She, along with the rest of the women, unbuttoned her drab grey dress None of the girls had heard any whispers about the and pulled off her undergarments. They stood shivering in the cold room. existing. Aside from Hermione, all of the Order members w There were seventy-two of them left. Twenty had been pulled by Healer final battle were known to be dead. Their deaths publicly Stroud out of concern they’d snap like the screaming girl had. corpses hung up to ensure there was no room for se They all stood nude but for the shining copper bracelets on their wrists, Resistance had crumbled upon Harry’s death. folding in on themselves to hide their bodies from the leering appraisals of Voldemort appeared to have been careful about ensurin the guards. of the Phoenix had no spark with which to resurrect itself “Dress in these.” dragged on over the years, he had grown more cautious With a flick of her wrist Umbridge unfurled a large pile of clothing. about his infallibility than he had been during Hermione’s y Bright scarlet dresses and robes. Red as blood. Voldemort was thorough. No undergarments. That was troubling. If he had elevated Malfoy to High R Hermione was thin enough that she barely missed having a bra but meant the that Malfoy was also thorough. Not someone i lack of underwear was keenly felt. Like a raw nerve. mistakes or errors in judgment. “And these, for the winter chill,” Umbridge said, smirking, as she Maybe there was still a Resistance somewhere. The wom unfurled another pile of clothing. Wool thigh-high stockings. had only known what the guards told them. There mig Then Umbridge added a pile of white bonnets and scarlet, flat-soled factions working against Voldemort. If Hermione escaped, shoes. find them and eventually give them whatever secret she wa Hermione put everything on. Since she was in the High Reeve’s house, perhaps if she The bonnet was last. The wings of it blocked her peripheral vision almost be able to glean useful information. entirely. Muffled her hearing. If she kept acting pliant and cooperative. She could only see straight ahead. If she wanted to look at anything to Broken. the left or right, she had to turn her head overtly. If they thought she was truly broken, they might ev It was all carefully crafted to engender vulnerability. careless around her. They could barely see, barely hear, couldn’t resist, couldn’t refuse, She would be waiting for it. couldn’t escape. She was very good at waiting. Their well-being would rely entirely upon endearing themselves to
would be an additional challenge. If Astoria were attentive to her husband, Umbridge’s eyes were locked on Hermione’s face, the h it would make escaping or finding a way to manipulate Malfoy far thick more Hermione could almost feel it glazing on her skin. U challenging. If Astoria was primarily preoccupied by pretending Hermione cold, gleeful smile and then turned and left. didn’t exist, it was the easiest scenario. Hermione would keep out of sight, Someone brushed Hermione’s arm. Someone so close in the shadows, as much as she could. Until there was an opportunity to she act. couldn’t see who it was with the obscuring wings in th The key would be to study Malfoy. Discover what drove him. What his “I’m so sorry,” Angelina’s voice whispered. Angelina's vices were. What she could exploit in him. she was suppressing a sob. “You were right. We should He didn’t seem particularly interested in Hermione beyond findingyou.” out what she might be concealing in her lost memories. If that were the case,Hermione it opened her mouth to ask Angelina what sh was a relief. Perhaps he would also primarily choose to leave her alone.she Shecould get the question out, a hard hand closed arou was sure that if he wished to he could come up with any number of ways found to herself dragged away into a small room. torture her without risking her fertility. Healer Stroud sat behind a large desk piled high with pap Draco Malfoy was the High Reeve. a file laid open before her that appeared to feature a calen It was still shocking. were filled with checks to mark off the days. What had happened to him during the war to make him so ruthless? Hermione realized it was mid-November in 2004. She h The hatred required to successfully cast a Killing Curse was tremendous. date until that moment. To inflict instant death tore something out of you. Most dark wizards and “Miss Granger,” Healer Stroud said as she looked up, “I witches could only manage it occasionally. That was part of why thereIwere was able to keep you in the program.” so many other curses used to kill. Sadism factored into it, but the truth was Hermione said nothing. She stared woodenly at the wo that no other curse was irreversible and unstoppable the way the Killing “I realize that you did not choose this, but given the s Curse was. The power necessary to utilize something so final was—well, the war, surely you’re pleased to have your magical abilities there was really nothing to compare it to. Stroud studied Hermione, her eyes bright and her exp Voldemort’s ability to cast it repeatedly and unfailingly was part of warm. the “There will be no more Sacred Twenty-Eight a reason he inspired such terror. generations will simply be magical. I’m certain you can see The High Reeve’s reputation for using the curse was already equally it.” legendary. It had vaulted him into the highest rank of the Death Eaters. Hermione stood there, marveling internally at the t And it was Malfoy. woman before her employed to clear her conscience. She would have to move carefully. The casualness with which the It took her several seconds to realize that a reply was Malfoys had treated her arrival indicated utter assurance. Leaving her in bythe Stroud’s expression, expected. foyer. Showing her through the house. Putting her into an unoccupied wing. “You’re sending me off to be raped and you want Hermione was certain there were no easy ways to escape. Until she could advantage to it?” she finally said, arching her eyebrows up.
her vision and made her eyes ache. any trouble.” Healer Stroud rolled her eyes and sighed. “Clearly there is no reasoning They went down a long hallway and then through with you. You are still too emotional about everything. Perhaps someday, concealed a door that led to a winding servant’s stairway. witch with your intelligence will come to appreciate what I am trying tothree do.” floors, they re-entered into a larger, main hallway of Hermione said nothing. She squinted and tried to read the calendar again. were in a different wing. The windows were all heavily dra Her fingers twitched. and shrouded; the furniture all covered with white dust she Healer Stroud dropped a file on top of the dates and stood up. Hermione “This wing is unoccupied,” Astoria said as though it looked up. “We have more servants than we need. Stay here and ou “The Dark Lord is eager for you to be under the supervision of someone you’re called for. The portraits will keep an eye on you.” capable of monitoring your memories. I had requested an extension, in order Astoria pushed open a door. Hermione walked in. to see how the training affects you, but you’ll reach your window of fertility bedroom. A canopied bed sat in the center and a single w in a few days, and the Dark Lord wants you pregnant as soon as possible. near Ithe window. A large wardrobe sat against one wall. T would have helped you prepare physically but—you don’t seem to want A my portrait hung on the wall. No books. help. The High Reeve is married. I’m sure he knows what to do and won’t Everything was cold and bare. mind training you to suit himself.” “If you need anything, call a house-elf,” Astoria said b Healer Stroud gave a cold, thin smile and Hermione flinched.door Hershut. Hermione listened to her retreating footsteps. stomach twisted painfully. Being suddenly left unsupervised without being in a cell Healer Stroud reached into her drawer and pulled out a bag. The sudden change simultaneously thrilling and terrifying “This will take you to the High Reeve’s estate. They’re expecting you.” suddenly jumped off a cliff. She reached toward Hermione. Hermione skittered back. She dropped her bonnet on the floor next to the door She dropped her chin down and tried to breathe. She just needed to a awindow. The cold, wintry countryside stretched out as moment to brace herself. To prepare for what she was about to face—and see. As she took it in, she considered the situation. what she was about to do. Malfoy and Astoria clearly disliked each other. ”Put out your hand,” Healer Stroud said as she walked around the desk It was hardly surprising. As if pure-blood arranged m toward Hermione. Hermione’s heart was pounding painfully in her chest already as dysfunctional enough, having them arranged by V she bit her lip and tried to swallow the dread rising up in her like a tide.sole purpose of reproduction had to have smothered any Helpless. Defenseless. Obedient. Especially after they failed to reproduce. You will be obedient. Astoria did not seem particularly afraid of Malfoy, so Hermione’s hand began to raise itself. A coin fell onto her palm. Instantly wasn’t so short-tempered as to be violent to her. She she felt a tug behind her navel as she was whisked away. resentful of and indifferent to him. He did not appear to be an attentive husband by an
The sarcasm in the witch’s sharp little voice was brittle. “Just read it, Astoria,” Malfoy said, glancing briefly toward the witch with a sneer. Astoria. So that was the name of Malfoy’s wife. “Let’s see. No cursing or torturing or physically abusing her. She’s to be kept fed. We can make her work, but no more than six hours a day. And she’s to spend at least an hour outside each day.” Astoria laughed somewhat manically. “It’s rather like keeping crups, isn’t it? Who knew? Ah yes. How delightful. We’ll get an owl every month on the five days you’re required to—perform, Draco. Healer Stroud has included a little personal note here, ermione reappeared in a dark foyer. It was mentioning that due to the Dark Lord’s specific interest in the Malfoy empty room. A black, lacquered, circular table Family and the Mudblood, she will be coming in person every month to see of the room. There was a large bouquet of whether you’re successful.” the table. Astoria looked so nearly hysterical that Hermione was surprised she She turned slowly. She didn’t want to miss any detail hadn’t started screaming and smashing a chair. wings of the bonnet acted like blinders. She could only see “Listen to this. I’m allowed to watch! You know, to make sure everything A large stairway lay to the right. Cold hallways led in is entirely clinical between you and the Mudblood.” further Astoria turned shockingly pale. Her blue eyes looked almost deranged. into the house. It was a manor, and an enormous o Her hands were shaking, and she crumpled up the papers in her handswidth and of the staircase. “Hello, Mudblood.” smacked them down on the tea table. A cold voice made her freeze. “I will not,” she said, her voice razor-edged and vibrating. “If you object, turning all the way around, she found Draco Ma you can drag me in front of the Dark Lord himself before you Avada me.Slowly I He was older. will not watch!” Her last memory of him was fifth year when he was on She did scream the last bit. “Do what you wish, just shut up!” Malfoy said, his tone vicious Squad. as he He had grown taller. He towered over her, and his fa trace of boyishness. There was a dangerous, refined brutal stood up and strode from the room. held himself. Hermione stood frozen near the wall. The way he looked at her... Astoria sat shaking in her chair for several minutes before she spoke to His eyes were like a wolf’s; cold and feral. Hermione. The deadliness in him was palpable. As he looked dow “My mother bred crups. Pretty little things,“ Astoria said. “Such fun to certain, he could lean forward and cut her throat while sta
CHAPTER FOUR
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Flitwick, Oliver Wood... the list went on and on. Aside from those whoothers had were responsible for. Now—she hated him. For wha been tortured to death immediately after the final battle—every personFor thatwhat he had done. she knew to be dead following the war—the High Reeve had killed them.He owned her. The girls had whispered to her during the first few nights. Telling her She was trapped under his heel, and he intended to grin about the world of horror she had missed while locked under Hogwarts. he had what he wanted. She hadn’t thought he could be someone she knew. She clenched her jaw as she forced herself to think past Someone so young. Her plan remained the same. She had to find a way to esc Terror welled up inside her. She wasn’t sure what to do to handle into thekilling her. shock. He wasn’t what she expected. She had hoped that the H Before she could react—or even process the realization—his eyes locked be driven by emotions, and although the Malfoy she had into hers, and he abruptly slammed his way into her mind. had been, now he seemed ice-cold. The force almost made her black out. Which, of course, she should have realized. Legilimen His mental intrusion was like a blade, driving straight into her memories. the key to them was control. The ability to compartmen He sliced through the fragile barrier that she tried to erect with the shreds behind walls. of internal magic she could summon. He drilled into her blocked memories. It would take cunning to make him snap enough to ma It was like having a nail driven into her head. killing her. Whatever she did, she wouldn’t be able t The precision and the unrelenting force. immediately. She couldn’t rush it. She couldn’t be careless He wouldn’t stop trying to break through. It felt almost worse than to the stay there, wait, and endure what was to come until she fo cruciatus curse. It lasted longer than the torture curse could without driving The thought had her shuddering. Her throat felt tight the recipient insane. and tried to think. When he finally stopped, she found herself lying on the ground. Malfoy A click of heels on the wood floor drew her attention was standing over her, staring down at her as she shuddered from the trauma witch swept into the room. She and Hermione stared a of his intrusion. several long moments. “So, you really have forgotten everything,” he said as he appraised her. “So, you’re it,” the witch said, elevating her nose with a “What is it you think you’re protecting in that brain of yours? You lost stupid the hat off and come along. We have to review the war.” together before I can put you away where we’re to keep yo She couldn’t answer. The blonde turned on her heel and marched back o She had no answer. Hermione followed slowly. The witch was familiar. A Green “Oh well,” he said, straightening his robes slightly. “The Dark Lordthought. was Not Daphne, but maybe the younger sister. kind enough to send you to me. If ever you do recover your memories, I’ll Hermione couldn’t remember her name. be the first to know.” They arrived in a drawing room. Malfoy was already th
young age? He—had been involved in Dumbledore’s death at the b year. The circ*mstances of that had never been en remembered being awakened abruptly by the castle’s s during the aftermath. Minerva McGonagall and the rest o had been pale with shock and horror as they frantically what had happened. Malfoy vanished in the chaos. It was the first and last major event of the war that Her specifically with Malfoy. After that he disappeared into Vo Another faceless Death Eater. His mother had died several years into the war. Hermi he following three days passed in much the same manner.hearing The about Narcissa Malfoy’s death in Lestrange Manor. table appeared promptly at seven thirty each evening. Hermione during a rescue mission. Harry and Ron had been caug went and leaned over it a few minutes before eight o’clock. When the Order went to rescue them, a Death Eater l Malfoy entered—performed—and then left without a word. fiendfyre curse and burned down the manor with Narci Hermione recited poetry to herself and tried to take her mind as farinside away it. as she possibly could. Anything to not think about what was happening to Narcissa’s death had driven Lucius Malfoy insane. He h her body. Bellatrix’s vacated shoes of madness. He’d placed the blam She wasn’t there. She was lying across a table because she was tired.death She squarely on Ron and Harry and devoted himself to traced her fingers across the subtle grain of the wood. Perhaps it washunting oak. down the Weasleys. Arthur Weasley’s brain dam Or walnut. death of George during the war had both been caused by Lu As soon as she was permitted to leave the table, she would climba into loose cannon within Voldemort’s ranks. He’d been too u bed and pray for sleep to come. She wasn’t allow to wash until the following for his insubordination to get him killed, but he’d constant morning, and she didn’t want to feel the fluid between her legs. line. She tried not to think about it. Not while it happened. Not afterward. It had occurred to Hermione that Lucius might be the H Not the next morning. She just—tried not to even think about it. how vicious, hate-filled, and quick to murder he was. There was nothing she could do. Hermione wondered if he was still alive. Perhaps followin She tried to shove it away into a corner of her mind. Take her mind as overstepped and gotten himself killed. Hermione ho finally far from her body as she could and stay there. Lucius had laughed while Ron died screaming in agony— When she woke the morning after the fifth day, she wanted to weep, she banish the memory. never was so relieved it was—at least temporarily—over. The dead sensation of But Malfoy… horror that resided in her stomach felt faintly eased.
CHAPTER SEVEN
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Death Eaters than the Order had anticipated. Voldemort had cast a killing Hermione didn’t move. curse and Harry had fallen. Then he had commanded Lucius to confirm A moment later, she heard the door click once more. Harry was dead. Hermione tried to remember the third verse of the poe Harry hadn’t been dead. beyond her memory’s reach. So Voldemort cast another killing curse, and another, and another, and She thought—she remembered an armchair and a another. After half a dozen killing curses, Voldemort had goneComforting and arms wrapped around a child Hermione, and a confirmed for himself that Harry was dead. For insurance, he had Harry’s flicking to a page. A voice she couldn’t remember any long body dragged up into the air and hung from the Astronomy Tower. Her mother— Everyone watched as Voldemort cursed Harry’s body with a fast acting She thought it might have been her mother who taught necrosis curse and the entire thing rotted away before their eyes. She opened her eyes and stared up at the clock. Harry’s blank green eyes—Hermione saw them every time she closed her own. The expression on his face; the realization he had failed had been written into it in death. Hermione shook as she thought about it. Her best friends had died before her eyes. By some extra cruel twist of fate she hadn’t been allowed to follow them. They had left her behind. She squared her shoulders and forced herself to step into the hallway. She had faced all manner of horror. She wasn’t going to be defeated by her own fractured psyche and a hallway. One step. Two. Three. Four. Her breathing grew fainter, and she clenched her hands into fists until she could feel her nails sinking into the skin. Five. Six. Seven. Drip. Drip. Drip. She froze and looked down. One of her hands was dripping blood into
It was at least—impersonal. She had no destination in mind, so she turned around As humiliating and horrifying as it was. At least she didn’t have totrying look the knobs of doors along the way. Some were locked at Malfoy when he did it. Didn’t have to touch him. She peeked into more empty bedrooms filled with shroud She didn’t want to see him. would return and explore them all carefully later. Perhap A minute before eight o’clock, she went over and leaned across the table. might prove useful would be found in them. She set her feet wide and turned her face so she could watch the clock. She was shaking as she re-entered her room. Feel When the door clicked she didn’t move. immediately crawled into bed. Malfoy didn’t say a word. He walked over and paused behind her. As she fell asleep, she dreamed of Ginny. Hermione’s hands began trembling, but she refused to let herself move. Ginny—from near the end of the war, with hair cut abo She wouldn’t look at him. and a long cruel scar down one side of her face. She was h She squeezed her eyes shut and began to recite healing spells; the longest, bed and looked up sharply at Hermione as though startled most complex ones she knew. Rehearsing the wand movement in her mind. Ginny’s expression was twisted in anguish, covered i Her skirts were pulled up, and she felt the trembling in her hands spread sobbing uncontrollably. throughout the rest of her body. “Ginny,” Hermione heard herself say. “Ginny, wha She heard the muttered charm. Warmth and liquid. happened?” She gritted her teeth as she felt prodding between her legs. As Ginny opened her mouth to answer, the dream fade When he sank inside her, she shook but didn’t cry. When Hermione woke the next morning, she knew she When he started to move, she cast her mind for something—something dreaming. What had she been dreaming about? She cou new. Something she hadn’t already thought to death. Something—something sad. She pressed the heels of her h The lines of a poem slowly came to her. eyes and tried to remember it. “I felt a Funeral, in my Brain, She couldn’t bring herself to go near the door that day And Mourners to and fro” the window and looked out at the misty gardens that lay ou The continuous sensation of movement inside her dragged her attention a hedge maze to one side. She traced her way through it w back into reality. She ground her teeth and fought for the next lines. She She studied all the grounds of the estate that she cou started over. take note of anything that could be useful. Where would s “I felt a Funeral, in my Brain, trying to hide? If she were trying to escape? And Mourners to and fro The day passed slowly. Kept treading - treading - till it seemed Having a sense of time once again was vaguely unset That Sense was breaking through -” ticking of the clock constantly caught her attention. A co The pace of movement shifted, and she desperately scrabbled to sound. recall If she let herself listen to it for long, it made her what words came next. spasm with each click of the gears.
with some kind of understanding of him. wrist and upper chest. All those plans had faded away during the last two days. She inspected them all carefully but drew a complete bl She stood up and moved slowly towards the door. As she was wrapping when she had received them. She didn’t think she’d be her fingers around the knob, there was a sudden pop behind her. Starting, during the final battle. She hadn’t been in any raids or skirm she turned sharply and found a house-elf standing behind her. years prior to the war ending. “You is to get ready for tonight, mistress is sayin,” the elf said, averting As she examined her wrist again, she reviewed in her m its eyes and then popping away. she knew of that might cause such scarring. It was s Hermione felt as though her heart were in her throat. Her hands started Voldemort had created a division in his army specific trembling. developing new curses. Hermione couldn’t remember a b She considered for a moment not readying herself. had multiple casualties simply because she couldn’t iden Undoubtedly, if she did, Malfoy would appear and force her to. curses Who fast enough to counteract them. knew what else he might do to her if she provoked him. The compulsions The water grew cold around her, but she didn’t leave in her mind stirred... shivering. When she went back into the bedroom, she foun Obedient. been left for her. She picked listlessly at it. Not to resist. She went to the door and stood trembling in front Her brain automatically began cataloguing the things she had minutes been before turning away. instructed to do. She stared at the cold, misty Wiltshire landscape outs She wasn’t sure if the compulsion made her rationalize obeying Pressing or if her forehead against the glass, she relished the sh obeying actually was the rational choice. sank into her skin. She wished it would sink in far enou She went into the bathroom and turned on the tap in the bath.mentally. The scalding water poured out and she watched the tub slowly fill. She didn’t know what to do but make more futile plans She wondered if she could somehow drown herself before Malfoy could There was nothing else to do. No books to read. Nothi get there. As Lord of the manor, he could probably apparate anywhere.mind She but all those spells, and arithmancy problems, and po shuddered at the thought of having him drag her, naked, out of the water sheby had already recited to herself a thousand times. her hair. She hadn’t realized the comforting oblivion that came She pulled off her robes and sank into the water, hissing but relishing and thebarely hearing in a timeless nowhere. Standing out in th pain. She hardly felt anything nowadays. Apparently the manacles didn’t was a keener sense of despair than even her eventual accep restrict her from heat. Realizing how reduced she’d become. How powerless she That was a useful piece of information to file away. circ*mstances. Finding that no book she’d studied nor sp After she had washed, she dried herself with a lavish, oversizedoffered bath any solutions for her circ*mstances... towel. Then she pulled on a fresh set of robes. The long, scarlet, buttoned She didn’t know how to rise above it.
“Do feel free to try,” he said with a smirk, “just as soon as you can bring When she was dressed, she stood uncertainly in the mid yourself to walk through that door by yourself." She wasn’t sure where she was supposed to go. What she Then he straightened again, and all the humor vanished from his face. do. “Stay out of my room. I don’t want to find you in there again. I’ll come The door abruptly swung open, and Astoria appeared, do it here.” a sheet. He sneered at her. “I’ll have a table sent, so you’ll know when to expect “Good, you’re ready. I was afraid I’d have to send Dra me.” Astoria said as she glanced up and down Hermione with a cr He turned on his heel and strode out without another word. “I’ll show you where to go tonight. After this, I shall be else Hermione didn’t move. you to prepare and go there every designated night with Not when the door clicked shut. realizing… you really don’t need all the body parts you hav Not as the hands on the clock ticked unrelentingly on and on, indicating reproduce. So if you’re thinking of causing problems—kee that it was past three in the morning. A chill ran down Hermione’s spine, and she nodded. Not when she became conscious of the crusting sensation on her thighs, Astoria swept from the room, leading Hermione throug the faint rawness between her legs, and the unfamiliar ache in her lower into the foyer, and then up the large staircase and down abdomen. hallway. The portraits muttered as they passed. She just lay there. “whor*.” Once upon a time… there had been a girl who fought. Who believed Hermione heard it murmured more than once. that books and cleverness and friendship and bravery could overcome all Astoria stopped at the seventh door. things. “Go in and wait. Draco will come when he chooses, bu But now— there at eight o’clock sharp.” —that girl was gone. Without pausing further, Astoria continued down She’d been all but killed during the war. disappeared into the darkness. Now—Draco Malfoy had stomped that girl to dust over the course of Hermione’s hands were trembling as she grasped the do an evening. to open it. It wouldn’t turn at first, and she had to take sev He’d physically and mentally raped every last shred of that girl to death. to calm herself and make her hands stop shaking enough t Hermione lay and stared up at the canopy of the bed. it. She hadn’t laid much store in her plans. She’d known her odds were Stepping into the room, she took in every detail she co impossibly small. Now—Malfoy’s mockery had sealed the sense of defeat It felt sterile. that she felt. She had assumed her room was bare and cold out of She didn’t move. perhaps it was simply the way Malfoy was. There was a lar When morning came, she didn’t wake. It was late in the afternoon before wardrobe, a desk, and a chair.
She shied away from the bed and went over to the chair by the desk. Hermione didn’t struggle. If she tried to push him out, Sitting down, she looked over the contents of the desk’s surface. Blank more, and he would still force his way through. She collap parchment and quills. She held her hand out hesitantly toward the quills, as the weight of his mind bore into hers. wondering if she was able to touch them. Her fingers twitched involuntary, but she was otherwis As her fingers got close, she felt a faint burning sensation and pulled her He slipped quickly through all the long, silent, isolated hand back. moved slowly once she was dragged out of the cell, tortur Her stomach was twisting itself with dread, and she tried to distract then re-tortured by not being stunned when mobilized aga herself by reciting arithmancy formulas while she sat there. of her conversation with Hannah and the mind healer She was used to waiting endlessly. What was an hour after sixteen Hermione’s condition. He observed the techniques Volde months of sensory deprivation? She just needed to stop thinking abouthad whatused to try to break into her locked memories. He was about to happen next. Her stomach felt so twisted she thoughtinterested she in her scheming to kill herself or escape. Sh might be sick. condescending amusem*nt at who she had theorized the H Suddenly, the door clicked. She stood and turned sharply in time to be;see how she had wondered if she could take advantage of Malfoy stride in. His hand was up at his throat, pulling his collar loose. killed. He clearly had not expected to find her there. He stopped abruptly and stared Hermione couldn’t find a way to wrench the thoughts a at her, actually seeming to pale slightly before pressing his lips togetherconceal into them. Every time she was able to gather more than a hard line. she felt the copper of the manacles key in and snatch it aw “Mudblood,” he said, after a moment. “Today is the day, I see.” He paid careful attention to the manacles. The comp been laid. The screaming girl who snapped and nearly blud to death. To Hermione’s arrival at the manor and reaction To her theories regarding himself and Astoria. Then her ca of her room and panic attacks when she tried to step into t It took hours. He pored over every detail. All the twists, doubts, questi in her mind. Finally, when he reached her memory of Asto the bedroom to retrieve her that evening, he withdrew. H disinterested by the notion of witnessing her perspective o him. Hermione felt as though her skull had been crushed. twitched as he stood staring down at her. “So many schemes,” he said as he straightened and tilte
stood there staring at her with unveiled fury. “Do you really think I won’t know when you try to kill yourself, Mudblood?” he finally asked after she stopped sobbing. “Just let me,” she said. Her voice was wooden, her chest kept stuttering, “I’m sure they’ll give you a new Mudblood to breed. You hate me too, Malfoy. Do you really want me to be the mother of your children? To see my face in them? I’m sure you can come up with a compelling excuse for killing me.” Malfoy gave a barking laugh. “If it were only so easy, I’d kill you now. For the first time in your life, you appear to have underestimated your value. The Dark Lord is quite ermione didn’t say anything. She just looked a anxious to see what kind of offspring we’ll produce. Once you’ve birthed a She was relieved she wasn’t trembling. few heirs for me, he intends to send you on and see what kind you’ll make She forced herself to meet his gaze, remin with some of the other old wizarding families. You little broodmares are just had to endure for a little while—just until she could fo quite the commodity. The Dark Lord has a whole breeding program She could endure it. She would. planned—spanning several generations.” She was uncertain of what she was supposed to do. W Hermione stared in horror. her to go lie down on his bed? He moved closer, his expression menacing. “Let’s not forget about those He memories of yours. The fact that there was something you considered worth strode past her to the wardrobe and after laying his hiding even after losing the war is a cause for concern. Until I know door why,for a moment, jerked it open. Perhaps Malfoy was not entirely monk-like. The wardro you will not die. However, how much freedom you have in this house—and entire how often I have to supervise you in order to assure it—your little suicide room within it. The door held a full bar, and Malfoy of fire whiskey off a shelf and pulled the cork out with his t contemplations will decide that.” cork onto the floor, he raised the bottle to his lips and star Hermione sat there frozen. Somehow she’d assumed that Malfoy would Hermione just waited. be the end for her. That he’d force a child from her, and then she’d be After a minute, he drew his wand and with a quick mo disposed of. It hadn’t occurred to her that she was intended to go on from a table in the middle of the floor. Hermione stared at it, com one wizarding family after another until her body gave out. She looked over to Malfoy. Malfoy glanced around her room and then back to her. His face was He sneered at her. tense, and his eyes steely. “Bend over,” he said in a low, taunting voice, gesturing “Well,” he said, sighing, “I hadn’t intended to do this immediately after Hermione hadn’t thought she could feel any more revu f*cking you the first time—but I am already here and with no further plans apparently she could. She bit down on the inside of her lip
CHAPTER SIX
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keep from trembling. Her whole body felt on edge from the intensity of her He snarled with rage. Suddenly the table beneath her v vulnerability. Her ears were straining to detect any sound. plummeted to the floor, hitting her forehead sharply on th There was a pause. Then she heard Malfoy approach her slowly. “GET OUT!” He stopped directly behind her and there was another silence. She could The room shook. feel his eyes on her. Pushing herself up, she fled. Stumbling dazedly thro The air shifted. Trying to remember the way back. “Are you still a virgin, Mudblood? Is that something you even Her chest was stuttering as she tried not to hyperventil remember?” see clearly. She reached up to find that her forehead had She flinched as she realized she didn’t know. hit it. Blood was streaming down into her eyes. He stepped closer. “I’m sure Weasley or Potter climbed up there at some She stood at the top of the stairs. Trying to rememb point.” She could hear the mockery in his tone. Blood was filling her eyes. She could feel fluid seeping o His hand rested briefly on the small of her back as he pulled her her skirts legs and trickling down her thighs. She was shaking. Try up to her waist. She felt the cold air of his room against her skin. Shewhere was her room was. shaking so hard the table was rattling. If she stayed there—Astoria would find her and gouge “Well, I suppose we’ll know soon enough,” he said and chop then off her fingers, or pull her teeth out. commanded, “Move your feet wider.” She stumbled and almost fell down the stairs. She forced herself to shift. She was drawing short, rapid breaths as she tried to ke She felt his fingers on her and jerked away slightly. aloud. He muttered under his breath and she felt something warm and liquid She couldn’t understand—she’d survived the war. Sh inside her. A lubrication charm. She started so abruptly the tablefriends legs die in front of her. She’d stayed sane, alone in a da shrieked as they dragged across the wood floor. year. But—being forced to be complicit in her own rape. S “We can’t have any damage or infections impairing your—usefulness,” it. Not while knowing she’d be expected to do it again the n he explained in a derisive tone. next. And the day after that. She heard his belt click and then, without warning, he impaled her with She stared dizzily down at the foyer. himself. If she just threw herself over the balcony Malfoy could She tried to bite back the sob that forced its way up her throat but the She’d be done. abrupt invasion caught her off guard. At her cry, he froze, just for a moment, She leaned over and looked down at the table in the f before he started moving again. Aside from where they were joined, further— he didn’t touch her. His right hand gripped the table near where her face was A vise-like grip closed itself around her arm and wrenc turned. She could see a black ring on his hand, glittering faintly. She turned and found Malfoy glaring at her, enraged. When he came, his movement grew uneven and rougher, and then he “Don’t—you—dare.” He snarled the words. His face w
pillow to herself. She had envisioned his death in a multitude of creative Her mind ran on and on, full of questions she had no answers to. last several days. Carried herself through with the fervent de The next day, Malfoy appeared again immediately after lunch. light fade from his eyes. She would give anything to drive Hermione’s heart sank, but she pulled on her cloak and followedcold himheart. docilely. Just walking behind him made her heart pound. She wondered She if was willing to settle for strangling or poisoning him he could feel it through whatever it was he had that monitored her. Aside from Voldemort and Antonin Dolohov, there w When they arrived at the veranda, Malfoy immediately conjured a death chair which Hermione now wished for so fervently. and seated himself, flicking open a newspaper. The front page story was Dolohov had been the lead developer in the Voldemor about a new monument in honor of Voldemort. It had been unveiled Theinmost horrific curses that had emerged over the course Diagon Alley. Hermione stood awkwardly beside the doorway, wondering attributable to him. Hermione wondered if he were alive, st where to go. methods with which to kill people with agonizing slowness She glanced over at Malfoy and started to open her mouth to ask Now, a Dolohov and Malfoy were nearly tied. Hermi question, but it was like her body swallowed it before she could force which the of them she wanted dead more. Probably still Doloho words out. Even if the body count were equal, at least Malfoy wasn’t s Quiet . She pulled the door open and stepped out. She didn’t She couldn’t initiate conversation. behind her. She didn’t give herself time to freeze. She rush She stared out bitterly at the hedge maze. She supposed she wouldinto justthe nearest room. go and wander about aimlessly. When the door was shut, she dropped her head again She started walking away but as she did so, a faint sense of discomfort forced herself to breathe. Slow deep breaths. Air all the w crept over her. She looked up, and took in the open, grey sky... bottom of her lungs and then slowly out to a count of eigh Her heart seemed to abruptly stall. Her shoulders were shaking, and her fingers twitch It was as though all the oxygen and sound that existed were abruptly resolutely to examine the room. It was almost identical to h sucked away, and there was simply a void of vast endlessness before her. chairs and a chaise. There was no air. She turned around, taking in all the general details. As s She felt like she were suffocating. Her heart started pounding. Beating cursed when she caught sight of a painting on the wall. It w faster and faster. She could hear it. life. A table of flowers and fruit. Beside the table was st She could see the steps. The gravel. The hedges. from the portrait in Hermione’s room. She was watching It felt like… faintly challenging expression. Nothing. Hermione wanted to throw something at the painting, b As though the universe ended at her toes. fingers into fists and forced herself not to react. She walk If she stepped forward another inch, she’d fall into it. the room. Peeking into the wardrobe. Under the bed. Into
It was almost exactly the same. The portrait followed and kept watch Department by of Mysteries. sitting down to an impressionist style picnic laid out beside a river. Daintily Hermione couldn’t remember it ever being confirmed nibbling cheese while she studied Hermione. killed Dumbledore. After Death Eaters seized control of The third room was the most heartening. Not that it actually contained Magic six months later, it had been difficult to get good i anything even remotely useful, but the bathroom contained a shower. Daily Prophet immediately became a full-fledged propagan Hermione’s heart leapt slightly. She was dying to shower. Had it been confirmed? She didn’t remember. Washing her hair in a bathtub was just one of the innumerable things she Hermione’s inability to recall it was meaningless. She c hated about her life. When she’d awoken in the Hogwarts infirmarywhere after the gaps in her memory were. Until a question wa passing out, her hair and body had been scourgified to remove the months didn’t even realize what was missing. of grime. She couldn’t remember when she’d last washed her hair properly. When she tried sorting through her memories magi She went on to the next room. She kept going. Her panic attacks seemed crawling through tar. Exhausting. Almost futile. If she po slightly under control when she focused on moving from room to room. the barest strand of magic into attempting it, the manac Making herself count slowly to four with each inhaled and exhaled breath. sucked everything away. It was primarily the hallway that bothered her. The vast, open, The clearest sense she had of where the lost memories unknown... from Voldemort, Snape, and Malfoy’s various efforts to br Individual rooms were contained. Manageable. The pain, shock, and trauma had blurred the details. It s She made her way through all the unlocked rooms in the hallway.there The were few lost memories scattered throughout the war closest thing to useful that she found in any of them was a fireplace poker— were concentrated in the last year, right up to her imprison which she couldn’t touch. The gaps in her knowledge tore at something inside He She made her way back to her room and curled up in the chair by desperate the to know what was missing but terrified of window. information. It made her feel as though she were wa She felt at a loss. What was she supposed to do? minefield. She had no idea what the missteps might be. She closed her eyes. Trying to accept the loss of information—of understan Her insides shriveled slightly. She needed to get close to Malfoy. sensation of bitter poison inside her. He was the closest thing to a key that she had. As long as he remainedWhy a had they lost the war? mystery, she would have no way of predicting which ways he was and was Couldn’t she at least remember that? not careful. It was as though she and Malfoy were playing a game o He appeared meticulous. Everything was unbreakable. A portrait he could in see the board. every room and bathroom. But no one was perfect. Everyone has some She was desperate for any scrap of knowledge. weakness, and she would find Malfoy’s and use it to end him. As soon as she knew so would her enemies. Her It would, of course, be a game of cat and mouse. simultaneously a shield and a weapon. It was buying her tim
The details felt—foggy. slide down her spine and coil in her lower back. She scrunched her eyes shut and struggled to recall it. She buried her face in the chair. It had happened less than a month into sixth year. The wards had gone She would do it. off in the halls when a Killing Curse was used. The castle had been filled She would. with Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder and screaming, stampeding Just—not yet. students. When the darkness finally faded, there were dozens of injured, She needed a few more days to get her bearings. To s panicked students and Dumbledore’s dead body. It had been trampled last in five days she’d just endured. the chaos. Maybe the day after tomorrow. First year Hufflepuff and Slytherin students had just re-entered the castle Malfoy did not give her time to separate or find her bea from a Herbology class. They were the only ones who had seen anything. into her room when she was finishing lunch the next day The statements were contradictory. horrified she nearly screamed. Dumbledore had passed by. There was an older student in the hallway. He just stood, staring at her for several seconds, while Maybe two. Male. A Ravenclaw. A Slytherin. A Gryffindor. A Hufflepuff. back of her chair and tried to keep from cowering. Cormac McLaggen. Adrian Pucey. Colin Creevey. Ernie Macmillan. Draco Why was he there? What did he want? Was he going to Malfoy. Zacharias Smith. Anthony Goldstein. Her fingers twitched and spasmed as she tried to steady The first years didn’t recognize many upperclassmen after only three His cold, pale eyes slid over her as though he were tak weeks into the term. The general consensus was that it had been someone detail about her. Something flickered in them when he n blond. spasming. It vanished quickly into unwavering, attentive co They heard a curse. Then darkness. A few said it happened in reverse: Like a viper, the instant before it struck. the darkness then the curse. Everyone was screaming and running. No one “You haven’t been following instructions,” he said after could see anything. All the wards had been shrieking. a minute. When the darkness faded, the professors assembled everyone in the Hermione stared at him, at a loss. Great Hall. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement arrived to Was she not supposed to go into other rooms? No one interview the students and examine the body. couldn’t. He’d said she was allowed to go out of her room The autopsy concluded the cause of death was a Killing Curse to herthestomach knotted itself—it had probably been a trick. back. No other recent magic detected. opportunity to punish her. There had been something else—something about Dumbledore’s She felt as though there was something lodged in her th hand— to swallow her terror and guess what he’d do. Hermione tried desperately to remember. It felt like it had been an “You’re supposed to go outside for an hour every important detail. The memory danced out of reach. clarification, his lips twisted faintly. “Seeing as you barely All the older students named by the first years were interviewedthat andset of instructions has apparently been ignored by you
conjured a heavy, deep red cloak which he flung at her. She sank into the water with a sigh, relishing the relief fr “Come!” He stalked from her room and down the hallway. throughout her freezing body. She rubbed her feet and an She followed him automatically as he led her down the main stairs of bits theof grime disappeared from them. wing and out onto a large marble veranda. After living in a cell for so long, she was never going to Hermione gasped as she stepped outside and felt the icy breeze on forher granted again. She didn’t know if she’d ever get over th face. She bit her lip and tried to steady herself as she stood in the doorway. of sinking up to her neck into a large quantity of water. It He turned sharply. only high-point of her existence currently. “What?” he asked, his steely eyes narrowed. The same could not be said for the food. Which, “I—haven’t been outside since the day Harry died,” she said in a expensive voice in its ingredients, was intended to be solely nutri that cracked faintly. “I forgot—what wind feels like.” know much about pre-pregnancy diets, but she didn’t see w He stared at her for several seconds before he snorted and turned away. allowed to eat unsauced, unsalted, and over-cooked vege “One hour. Go,” he said, conjuring a chair and pulling a newspaper with outunsalted butter, and boiled meat and poached eggs (a of thin air. She would kill for a bag of crisps. Hermione’s eyes immediately locked onto the headlines she could make As she sat in the water, slowly warming up, she consider out. She was so starved for information it drew her attention more sharply of the day. than the abrupt sensation of being outdoors. Her “surrogacy” under the careful watch of Malfoy w Repopulation Efforts Underway! Screamed the words at the top. bait. She felt something twist inside her, and she pressed her lips together and The taunting, luring language of the front page article looked away. Malfoy noticed her glance. precisely balanced tone, seeking to simultaneously dehuman “Care to see?” he asked in a slow drawl that made her skin prickle.order She to prevent pity from the general public while ende heard the snap of the paper unfolding and glanced over to find a picture outrage of among any sympathizers. herself, unconscious in a hospital bed, on the cover of the The Daily Hermione wondered what sorts of safety measures had Prophet. to catch would-be rescuers. Were there other Death Ea She stared in horror. Malfoy Manor? Or was the High Reeve presumed to be ca “Potter’s Mudblood is among the first surrogates chosen by the Dark Lord to increase personally handle all comers? the magical population,” was the summary included below the headline. If it were the former, Hermione would have to keep Malfoy glanced at it with a smirk. discover them. They would be an added complexity for he “Look, I’m included too.” His mouth twisted into a thin, malicious she smilecould somehow evoke their sympathy. Or perhaps tr and his eyes glittered as he pointed to a picture of himself further down them in into killing her if it came down to it. A highly ambiti the column. “In case anyone in the whole world wants to know exactly who scheme, is given that Malfoy would probably find the idea i f*cking you and where you are.” before she had any chance of enacting it.
Voldemort was keeping Malfoy quite close. feel morally obligated to come haring in to save you the w Perhaps Malfoy had secret ambitions that Voldemort worried about. liked to.” It also made Malfoy the perfect trap for Resistance fighters. If anyone Oh god... tried to save Hermione, they would assume they were simply attackingThe a whole world knew that Voldemort had turned her pampered, second generation Death Eater. They’d have no idea they slave were for the repopulation program. She was being used as walking into the grasp of the High Reeve, Voldemort’s most infamously Hermione staggered back, feeling faint. She needed t deadly servant. Malfoy and his cruelty before her mind snapped. She clapp Hermione skimmed through the rest of the paper. Northern Europeher was mouth as she stumbled down the gravel path. still not under Death Eater control. Voldemort was moving aggressively to “If you get lost in the hedge maze, I will send my hou bring the Scandinavian countries to heel. Apparently the vampires, hags,out.” and Malfoy's hard voice seemed to follow her. other Dark creatures that had been brought to Britain during the war had She ran. been moved up into Northern Europe during the last several months. She hadn’t run in ages, but she had stayed quite fit insid There was no mention of the insurrection in Romania. No mention jumping of and push-ups. Everything that she had done to tu any known members of the Resistance still fighting. She needed her mind off. Pius Thicknesse was still Minister of Magic. There was a Tri-Wizard She couldn’t think. She needed to move until she could Tournament planned for the upcoming year. Several pages were devoted to She bolted down the path until it opened into a lane. S international Quidditch matches. Apparently the diversion of sports retained The towering hedges around her felt suffocating. its appeal even under dystopian regime. Everything was suffocating her. The rest of the paper was composed of society pages. Her hands darted up, and she unclasped the cloak Malf Astoria Malfoy was quite the socialite. She attended every event, bought She felt the wind wrench it away. tables at charities, and donated lavishly to post-war memorials. Malfoy was She’d rather freeze. largely absent from the society pages, only occasionally joining his wife. She ran and ran until the hedges ended and the lane ca Hermione read every word, including the advertisem*nts. Looking large for fields. She kept going. Because if she stopped, sh any hints. Any subtext. Anything that might be unspoken but implied.thought, she’d cry. She couldn’t cry. Not until she figured If such things were included in the news, Hermione was too ignorant away of and keep any surviving members of the Resistance fro current events to detect them. her. Finally she refolded the newspaper carefully with her stiff fingers and Oh god. returned it to the place it had been abandoned on the veranda. Oh god... She massaged her freezing hands as she hurriedly made her way up Finally, she stopped. through the manor. Her lungs felt as though they were on fire. The stabbi She was, surprisingly, not having a panic attack by wandering back forby oxygen was sharp as her chest heaved. Her whole bod
She pressed her hands over her mouth as she kept gasping and panting. a year…” When her chest finally ceased heaving, she became gradually aware of So, Malfoy was the one who had killed Dumbledore. A how cold she was becoming. There was a sharp wind that cut through thethe list of those murdered by the High Reeve. flimsy clothing she wore. Her hands were growing starkly white. She could Lucius was still alive somewhere. feel her cheeks and the tip of her nose slowly begin to hurt. There was an There was no mention of the other women in the br icy sensation in her toes beginning to radiate up her legs as water soaked Hermione’s eyes raced across the other columns, gatherin into her shoes and up her stockings. of information. She turned to look back in the direction she had come. The hedges were The next column listed executions within Britain tiny in the distance. performed by the High Reeve. There was a picture. S She pressed her icy hands against her eyes for several minutes. Trying looking to men and women on their knees upon a platform. think. black robes and an ornate mask, stood the High Reeve. I There was nothing. drew his wand and, with a casual flick, killed the first p Nothing new. Nothing more she could do. spared the falling body a glance before casting a second c Her plan remained the same. Nothing had changed. person. The picture’s loop was only a few seconds long, b Her situation was exactly the same as it had been the night before.three The people on the platform before it began again. only difference was that her knowledge of it had broadened slightly. The Hermione stared. Taking in every detail. options were still just as limited; the stakes had simply been raised further.Knowing that it was Malfoy made it obvious that it w She slowly turned back. casually elegant posture. The indolent casting. The dead She doubted Malfoy would really send hounds after her. Getting mauled seemed to radiate from him. by a pack of hunting dogs would potentially interfere with her reproductive However, neither the article about the repopulation abilities. column regarding the executions made any reference to the She wondered idly if the manacles would permit her to fight back against was the High Reeve. As though the title and its bearer wer an attacking animal. If she were truly desperate to die, perhaps she could The anonymity was surprising. The newspaper didn’ fling herself into the path of a deadly creature. Someone as vile as Malfoy speculation regarding the High Reeve’s identity. As th might have something like a manticore stashed away on his estate. permitted Or to print such a thing. perhaps, if there were traps for would-be rescuers, she could fling herself Hermione mulled over that detail. into one of them. The High Reeve was Voldemort’s right hand, Her teeth started chattering as she continued down the lane toward representative. the Hermione wondered if the anonymity wa hedges. She was too tired to run again and try to warm herself. interest or Malfoy’s. She suspected it was likely Voldemort’ She hugged herself and continued on. had an exceptionally powerful puppet. Even Voldemort h It hadn’t occurred to her that Voldemort would publicizekilled the Harry, had not cast the killing curse with such rap
be the mother of his children. All the world would know. He was so slavishly obedient to whatever his Master wan rationalized it somehow. She sneered to herself in derision The number of ways in which Hermione could hate mind-boggling. Every time she saw him, it was as though sh new aspect of him that only added to the number of deserved a slow, cruel death. The sharp rocks of the gravel lane eventually cut enti shoes. Her feet started to bleed as she was reaching the he the useless shoes off and flung them up into the yew where muddy red stood out starkly. epopulation Efforts Underway! She continued on. Shivering. “Potter’s Mudblood is among the first surrogates chosen by the Dark When she finally made it back to the manor and wa Lord to increase the magical population.” corner, she found Malfoy was still there, reading a book Hermione read on. tossed aside. The first phase of the British repopulation efforts have now begun. Eligible half-blood She stopped. Hesitating. She didn’t want to interact w and Mudblood surrogates have been assigned to many of Britain’s most eminent wizarding was agonizingly cold. She didn’t know how else to get insid families in the hope of improving the Wizarding population. The assignments have been Her movement or color caught Malfoy’s attention. personally approved by the Dark Lord himself in consultation with Healer Lydia Stroud, sharply and stared, looking faintly aghast as he took in who has spent her career specializing in magical genetics and wizarding fertility. appearance. Then he quirked an eyebrow and smirked. Most notable among the surrogates is Mudblood Hermione Granger, last surviving “Taking your status seriously, I see. Blood red and mu member of the terrorist cell known as The Order of the Phoenix. The witch has faintly had a for a moment before his expression grew hard. “Yo reputation from a young age for her romantic associations with famous wizards. This wasyour cloak. You’ve still got,” he glanced at his watc lost particularly notable in 1994 with not one but two Tri-Wizard competitors, Harry Potter, before you’re allowed inside.” and Viktor Krum. Now she may have found her way into the bed of her most powerful Hermione shrank back in misery and went back aroun wizard yet. manor. She found a spot that was somewhat out of the wi Draco Malfoy, most renowned for his assassination of Warlock Albus Dumbledore against the building in a tight ball. Trying to conserve her b at the tender age of sixteen, has long been an esteemed Death Eater. The Prophet has She was so cold. confirmed with several sources that surrogate Granger was delivered to Malfoy Manor just Her shivering had stopped, and she was growing just te over a week ago. Since Lucius Malfoy abdicated his title of Lord to his son following the Which—she vaguely realized—indicated hypothermia. death of Narcissa Malfoy in 2001, the family line has been without a succeeding heir. Hermione had never treated real hypothermia during t Unfortunately young Lord Malfoy cannot become too attached to the traitor warming
CHAPTER EIGHT
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But—if she waited… maybe she’d die from it. it around herself. He turned sharply on his heel and str That would solve all her problems. veranda. He stopped by the door and waited for her to cat She scrunched up more closely to the side of the manor and closed her When she reached him, she realized he had paled slightl eyes. Breathing shallowly. at the ground behind her. She turned and saw that she Things slowly became comfortingly vague. footprints across the white marble. He grew faintly con “Creative.” Malfoy's harsh voice invaded the fog in her mind. studied them. Something uncomfortably hot struck her entire body. Startled, Hermione “Surprised to realize our blood looks the same?” she yelped. She realized after a moment he’d cast a warming charm on her.voice. The dramatic contrast in temperature had been physically painful when the magic He sneered. of the charm collided with her skin. “All blood looks the same. My hounds bleed the same Malfoy was already stalking away when she looked up. house-elves. The question of superiority is answered by po Horrid bastard. He’d warmed her just enough to counteractamthe the master of the hounds, and the elves, and you, I do b hypothermia but not enough to relieve how bitterly cold she felt. to that question is sufficiently clear.” She huddled against the manor and tried to guess when ten minutes had “Yet I’m the one intended to give you heirs,” Hermio passed. Her feet and hands were aching into the bones from the chill. his eye with her own cold expression. She was feeling very regretful about wherever her cloak had ended up. “ That is due to Astoria’s failing, not mine,” he said, his l Apparently she did still have a little bit of Gryffindor impetuousnessHe left. drew his wand and banished the blood from the marble Just enough to allow herself to occasionally do very stupid things. Nowand thatrolled his eyes. her rage and horror had eased slightly, she was able to appreciate her “I suppose I can’t have you ruining the rugs, regardless impulsive idiocy more. it would be to leave you bleeding.” Trying to stick it to Malfoy by refusing the care he was mandated to He flicked his wand at her feet and scourgified them provide was not hurting anyone but herself. It was like refusing toseries eat. of careless healing charms. Then he banished the mu Weakening herself to show him she could still be obstinate was the of exact her robes. opposite of what she should be doing. Malfoy wasn’t going to become “I trust your brain still functions enough to find your careless if he thought she still had fight in her. your room. If not, you can sleep on the floor somewhere.” H She was cutting off her nose to spite her face. a crack. She groaned and smacked her head against the wall of the manor. Hermione stood alone before the door for several s A minute later the sound of crunching gravel caught her attention.freezing She but— looked up to find Malfoy approaching once more. She darted over and snatched up the copy of the The D His expression was cold as the wind. had been left lying on the ground. Slipping through the d He reached out and dropped her cloak at her feet. just far enough into the hallways to get away from the bitin
“Death is just one curse away from us all,” she said after a moment. “I can’t just sit She’d been alright yesterday. She’d been so horrified back and watch, waiting for fifty-fifty odds to land and assume I know the outcome.run Notseveral miles. But now— when there are so many people depending on us. What you have, the way you love people, She couldn’t— it’s pure, it’s powerful. But—how many times have you killed Tom now? As a baby, It was all so much. because of your mother. In first and second year. But he’s still here. He’s still fighting you. She didn’t remember the world feeling so wide befo I don’t want to assume anything is enough.” so...high. The paths just went on and on. She didn’t know w “You don’t think Good can just win,” Harry said. The reproach in his voice was Her hands started shaking and twitching as she thought heavy. going to be sick. “Everyone who wins say they were good, but they’re the ones who write the history.She I wanted to go back to her room. haven’t seen anything indicating that it was actually moral superiority that made She a wanted to press herself into a corner and feel walls difference,” she said as she murmured the spells to repair the fractures. She stared down at her feet and felt tears pricking the co “You’re talking about Muggle history though. Magic is different. The magicalPanic world was rising up through her like a tide. Her heart kept is different,” Harry said, reaching toward her wand hand just as she moved it to heal faster. the It felt like a fluttering bird caged inside her chest, next rib. He closed his fingers into a fist and let it drop. death as it tried to escape. Hermione shook her head minutely and Harry’s expression grew bitter. He looked Hermione pressed her hands over her mouth and tri up at the sky. Hermione cast a barrier charm over her hand and then began spreading hyperventilating. a bruise paste over Harry’s stomach and ribs in small circular motions. A sharp sound abruptly caught her attention, and she lo “You used to be different,” Harry said, “You used to be more righteous about Malfoy things was gripping his newspaper so tightly his knuckles than me. What happened to S.P.E.W.? That girl would never have said Dark hands magic were shaking faintly. was worth the cost. What happened?” She gasped and stumbled away. “That girl died in a hospital ward trying to save Colin Creevey.” “Sorry—sorry—,” she stammered in terror. “I’m going “I was there when Colin died too, Hermione. And I didn’t change.” She only made it a few feet before her legs refused to c “I was always willing to do whatever it took, Harry. All those adventures of ours She in was afraid of being near Malfoy, but even he didn school. Once I was in, I was in. Maybe you just never noticed how far I was willingterror to go that swallowed her as she tried to walk forward. Her for you.” the air had been pressed out of them. She opened her mo gasp for breath. It wouldn’t go in. The terror was sinking into her as though a creature h into her back. Dragging them down her spine. Tearing her When Hermione woke, she remembered the dream. all the muscles and nerves and bones to the cold winter She replayed it again and again. It was a memory. Which frightened her dying. somewhat, but there didn’t seem to be anything in it that appeared She couldn’t breathe.
Not even walls. Nothing. She could scream forever. No sound. No one would come. There was darkness eating up the sky. Then there’d be nothing. No one would come. She couldn’t— “Stop,” was suddenly growled from behind her. Reality crashed down on her like a flood. She started and looked back. Malfoy was pale-faced, and his eyes were flashing as he stared at her. “You’re required to be outside. You are not required to go traipsing off. I am trying to remember you Do not give yourself a mental breakdown that compromises my access to and your memories.” let you go His face twisted slightly as he kept looking at her. Drawing his wand, he at conjured another chair. the same time. “Sit. And calm down,” he commanded in an icy tone. Hermione dragged in a deep breath and let her feet carry her over. Trying Nayyirah Weheed not to dwell on the flood of relief that came over her. She seated herself and stared down at her hands as she worked to regain control of her breathing. She was in a chair. She was in a chair next to Malfoy. She was not in a void. There wasn’t a void. There was marble under her feet. She didn’t have to go anywhere. She was in a chair. She inhaled slowly. To a count of four. arry Potter was sitting on a rooftop, smoking cigare Exhale, through her mouth. To a count of six. the distance. Hermione clambered out of a window to In and out. Again and again. “What happened to us, Hermione?” he asked w She was in a chair. She didn’t have to go anywhere. “A war,” she said quietly, reaching out and turning his face towa Her heart slowly stopped pounding, but her whole chest hurt. gash on his head. His pale skin was faintly red from the blood h Once her chest’s stuttering eased, she tried to force her fingers toexpression stop was sad, tired, and angry. twitching. They wouldn’t, so she sat on them. “Who changed? Was it you or me?” he asked as she laced her fin As her mind fully cleared from her panic, a lash of bitter despair struck and pushed it aside so she could close the wound.
CHAPTER TEN
H
nerve.” He snorted faintly in disdain before sighing. “That is theway onethrough it. It swallowed her from the inside. drawback of using the Killing Curse on someone’s back; they miss out on She stared down at her lap. Tears slid from the corners o that split second of realization before they die.” her cheeks, and along her lips before falling. The sharp cut o Hermione bit her lip as she listened to Malfoy’s drawling recitation.them She feel like ice on her skin. She smeared them away an had expected, if she ever asked the question, that he would be horriblearound and herself more tightly. Pulling up the hood. conceited about it. Somehow it still shocked her to hear it. The cloak was almost smothering her with the warmth “I suppose your master was quite pleased with you,” she said without Hermione still felt cold with horror as she sat silently on the looking at him. to think. “He was, especially after I presented him with the old fool’s wand. He She’d been alright. Yesterday. She’d been alright. Wh had dinner with me and my mother that night, here in this very manor. bothered I was her then? declared a protege.” Some kind of agoraphobia. It must be. Somehow, in the He tone seemed vaguely hollow. Hermione glanced over her shoulder or at sound or time, she’d latched onto the security of him. He wasn’t looking at her. His eyes were locked on the window, and containment he had become the only constant in her life. So looked almost wistful and pensive. As though his mind had gone somewhere she was free of the urgent horror of her current situation; w else. time to think… He abruptly roused himself and smiled thinly down at her. The sense of openness created a fear that swallowed he “Any further details you need me to provide?” He arched an eyebrow as Outdoors was far worse than the hallway upstairs. he asked the question. His expression was mechanical. Maybe she’d just been unprepared. Maybe now that sh “No,” she said dropping her eyes from his face. “that was all I wanted abletoto push through the panic. If she gave herself manage know.” down the steps. Walk across the gravel. Walk to the hedge “Well.” He straightened his robes and turned to leave, “The outside If she paced herself. world beckons me. Try not to have a seizure in my absence, Mudblood.” She certainly wasn’t going to be getting lost in the hed soon. Her stomach twisted. Her timeline for escape kept ge hadn’t even had a chance to investigate options for getting she took— She might get pregnant. She might already be pregnant. If she weren’t, every a being ordered over that table increased the odds that she w She wanted to cry. She glanced over at Malfoy who was studying Quidditc
around his edges. “The feeling is decidedly mutual,” Hermione said in a dr Who did he hate so much? Was he like Lucius, blaming the Order a particularly for good retort; her head was throbbing. It felt a Narcissa’s death? Were all those Killing Curses revenge? Was that had whatinserted his entire mind into hers, and it had bruised h fueled his rise? Malfoy straightened and looked down at her as though Everything about him had changed. There didn’t appear to be even to say a something else. She stared up at him. shred of the boy she had known so many years before. “Did you really kill Dumbledore?” He had grown, taller and broader. The haughtiness of his school days He smirked and leaned against a bedpost, crossing his a had faded, replaced by a palpable sense of power. Deadly assurance. his head to the side. His face had lost every trace of boyishness. It was cruelly beautiful. His “You somehow forgot that too? Is there anything usefu sharp aristocratic features set in a hard unyielding expression. His greyOr eyes do you just habitually forget everything that you haven were like knives. His hair still that pale, white blond, combed carelessly aside. textbook?” He glanced down at his nails for a moment and t He looked, every inch of him, like an indolent English Lord. Except against for his robes in a bored manner. “I suppose that was the almost inhuman coldness. If an assassin’s blade were made into a good man, for. You didn’t even fight during the war, did you? it would take the form of Draco Malfoy. saw you. You weren’t ever out there with Potter and Weas She stared at him. Taking him in. Spending all your time in hospital wards. Waving your wa Beautiful and damned. A fallen angel. saving people who ended up being better off dead.” Or perhaps, the Angel of Death. At his words, Hermione felt the blood drain from her While she was studying him, he closed the newspaper crisply and looked that the room swam before her eyes. She gasped as though over at her. She met his eyes for a moment before glancing away. by a bludger. “What is wrong with you?” he asked after staring at her several seconds. All the times she’s healed Ron, Bill, Charlie, George a She flushed faintly and didn’t answer. Remus, Ginny, Hannah, Angelina, Katie… “If you won’t tell me, I will just pull the answer from your mind,” he Saved them for the end of the war. Saved them to be t said. Saved them to be enslaved and raped. Hermione struggled not to flinch at the threat. She stared steadily at the She clasped her hands over her mouth and pressed hedge. against her lips until she felt the outline of her teeth. Her w “I—I think it’s called agoraphobia,” she said after taking several on deep the bed, and she tried not to sob. A muffled whimper to breaths. “Something about—about open spaces makes me panic.” her fingers. There was a pricking sensation in her eyes the “Why?” Malfoy’s face blurred from the tears. She rolled to her side “I don’t know. It’s not like it’s rational,” she said bitterly as she inspected ball. the stitching of her cloak. The uniform needlework was something orderly “Since you’re so curious to know. The Dark Lord pers to stare at. Something predictable. Something that made sense. Something that I kill Albus Dumbledore at some point during sixth ye
to fight him off with. know by tomorrow. Or the next day. Or whenever he decid her thoughts again. Obedient. Quiet. Not to resist. “It’s probably from being in that cell for so long,” she sa She tucked her chin down against her shoulder and tried to cringe away “There was nothing—It was like a void. Everyone was d from him as much as she could. going His right hand pressed into the mattress by her head, and then she felt to come for me. I was just there, and I didn’t even k had been. The walls—were the only real thing. I guess—I the tip of his wand under her chin. them. So now—when I try to walk somewhere, and I don “Look at me, Mudblood,” he commanded. Her chin untucked itself as she turned to look up into his eyes. Theywhere were it goes… I don’t know. I can’t—it feels like—,” explain only inches away from hers. His pupils were contracted, and the grey of his the terror. “It’s like—I’m abandoned all over agai is dead, and I’m just alone—And I can handle it when irises looked like a storm. small—but when I remember how big it is—I can’t. I can’ He drove into her mind. She choked, and her voice trailed off. She didn’t know She gasped with shock. it. Words failed to capture all the irrational complexity. She Even his legilimency was cold. Like being plunged into a freezing lake. loss. It hurt with a sharp, clear pain. Malfoy’s expression seemed to grow harder while she w Unlike previous occasions, her mind was unclouded with trauma or “And yesterday?” he asked after a displeased pause. shock. The experience was far more vivid because of it. He shot through her “I don’t know. I suppose my horror exceeded my fear.” memories, attending to all the clusters of locked ones. He tried breaking his He was silent for a moment before he snorted faintly an way into one until a wail wrenched itself from her lips. his chair, studying her. He moved quickly. As though he were simply verifying that none of them “I have to admit, when I heard it was you I would b were accessible yet. After checking through them, he moved into the looking forward to being the one to finally break you,” he present. He seemed amused by her growing hatred. By how desperatelytoward she her slightly with a hard smile. “But I doubt that it’s exceed what you’ve done to yourself. It’s quite disappointi wanted to kill him. He watched her explore the other rooms and run across “I’m sure you’ll still try,” she said looking him in the ey the estate and sit bored on the steps of the veranda. How she had read The her despair was written across her face, but there was no p Daily Prophet. Her panic attack. hideofit. He examined her repeated efforts to remember the details His silver eyes glinted when he saw it. Dumbledore’s death, and how she couldn’t remember something about the warlock’s arm. That detail sparked his interest. He tried to find the information, but wherever Hermione had concealed the details in her mind, he couldn’t tell. She could feel his irritation as he finally moved on to her appointment
He strolled along the outside of the hedge maze unt entirely and then led her through the paths among the win
Hermione wondered if there was anything about the M didn’t feel cold, dead, and sterile. The gravel paths had n stone out of place. The rose bushes had been clipped winter. The hedges cut into the sky in precise, straight wall Hermione had never particularly cared for formal Eng Malfoy Manor’s might be the most horrid she’d ever se white gravel, and leafless trees and shrubs pruned within lives. alfoy didn’t speak to her again for the remainder of the hour. She imagined it was less awful-looking in the spring and He drew a book from his cloak and set to reading it, its current form she had seen car parks with greater aesthe apparently impervious to the biting cold. Malfoy did not seem inclined to appreciate the scenery Hermione closed her eyes for several minutes and tried to force her heart After storming along the paths for an hour, Malfoy led not to pound by merely staring up into the sky. the manor. As they drew close, Hermione thought she She was going to overcome it. curtain twitch. She didn’t care what it took. Malfoy walked to Hermione’s room but rather than lea The days blurred together. there, he stayed, staring at her. Malfoy appeared daily, immediately after lunch, and led her out to the Hermione shrank away and fidgeted with the clasp on h veranda. Once there, he usually ignored her, reading the Prophet or if some she ignored him he would go away. book. Hermione would skitter about on the veranda, trying to find the nerve “Bed,” he commanded after a moment. to take a walk. She could make it down the marble steps, but she froze before She looked up at him, startled, and he smirked maliciou reaching the gravel. toward her. Unlike the hallway, she couldn’t seem to overcome it. It was a line she “Unless you’d rather do it on the floor,” he said. was incapable of crossing. The rational parts of her brain just stuttered toHermione a didn’t move. She just stared at him, feelin halt. horror. He drew his wand and after giving a sharp, So she sat on the steps, gathered gravel into her hands, and tossed the Hermione felt his magic seize hold of her and drag her ba rocks, one at a time, as far as she could. Or arranged them into pictures or collided with her bed and toppled backwards onto it. runes. Malfoy sauntered over, looking bored. There was a fain There was nothing else to do. Hermione bit her lip to keep from whimpering and c Malfoy never spoke to her, and because of that she couldn’t speak to
CHAPTER NINE
M
dunked her head under and emerged entirely bald.” cell in Hogwarts. Except she was also monitored obsessivel Healer Stroud handed Hermione a small jar of murtlap essence. portrait and knew there was a mansion outside her bedroo “The irritation should fade in a day or two. I’ll speak to the High Reeve explored if she could only summon up the nerve to do so. about your condition.” Hermione had explored all the bedrooms along her ha Healer Stroud put Hermione’s file back into a briefcase, and Hermione had studied the hedge maze through all the windows unti slipped off the table and stood awkwardly, holding her stockings in one certain hand she could find her way through it. and the jar of murtlap essence in the other. With a flick of her wand, Healer She was trying to find the nerve to descend the stairs Stroud vanished the table and left the room without another word. other floors. She’d passed through the first floor almost Malfoy arrived half an hour later, looking more angry than usual. Malfoy. Yet she couldn’t seem to quite bring herself to do Hermione pulled on her cloak and followed him. When they reached the After eight days, Malfoy did not appear after lunch. veranda, he glanced over at her with a grimace. Stroud walked through the door into Hermione’s room. “You are required to walk at least half a mile.” Hermione stood silently and watched the woman conju Hermione blinked up at him. in the middle of the floor. “I would send you with a house-elf, but Stroud is concerned that your Everyone Hermione hated seemed to force her onto ta self-inflicted brain injury may cause you to have a seizure if you become Malfoy. Stroud. Hermione walked forward before she was overwrought.” He looked enraged enough to break something. “I amseated now herself on the edge. required to walk you.” “Open your mouth,” Healer Stroud commanded. He stared across the estate for a moment before adding, “You are worse Hermione’s mouth opened automatically, and Healer than a dog.” potion and poured one drop into Hermione’s mouth. As He stormed down the steps and then turned, standing on the gravel stoppered, path. Hermione caught a glance of the content “Come,” he said in a cold voice. His eyes were flashing, and his lipsVeritaserum. were pressed into a hard line as he looked at her. She supposed it was one way to make medical appointm Hermione stared at him, incredulous. Hell would freeze over long before prevent subjects from lying. Hermione couldn’t understan Draco Malfoy’s presence kept her from having a panic attack. manacles already made her obedient; Healer Stroud could ju The compulsion dragged her forward. to tell the truth. Hermione took a deep breath as she stepped gingerly down the steps and Healer Stroud seemed to notice the expression on Herm then, after a moment’s hesitation, onto the gravel. She took four steps across “It simplifies things,” Stroud said, waving her wand. “I it toward him and wanted to cry with rage when she didn’t freeze along had theordered you to lie about something you would be con way. your honesty isn’t your fault.” Apparently it was a cold day in hell. Hermione nodded. She supposed that made sense. Malfoy turned on his heel and walked down the path while she followed. “Hmm. Not pregnant yet. I suppose it was rather too m
Hermione stared at the woman steadily while her mouth answered handle of its the wave of anger and despair she felt for having s own volition. obstacle that she couldn’t overcome on her own. “I have been physically raped five times and mentally raped twice.” She pressed her lips together, but they twisted sharply. S Healer Stroud looked unfazed but somewhat thoughtful. pressure in her cheeks and eyes as she struggled not to cry “The legilimency is painful?” “Interesting,” Healer Stroud said, scribbling several no “Yes.” due to your imprisonment. It hadn’t occurred to me tha “Hmm. I’ll make a note of that. No other harm to you?” would be an issue. Hmm. Calming Draught would be insuff “No.” put you on a permanent anxiety relief; they interfere “Very good. That is a relief. There have been—problems, with some Perhaps of something temporary, to help acclimatise you. I’ll the others.” it.” Hermione felt horror creep over her like the caress of a ghost. Hermione said nothing. “Are—are they alright?” she croaked. “Materials will be provided daily for your cycle,” Stro “Oh, yes. We got everything taken care of. Some men simply need continued to be writing notes. A thought seemed to occur to her reminded that the Dark Lord’s gifts can be taken back if not caredupfor quizzically at Hermione. “What—what was it that hap properly,” Healer Stroud said. There was no trace of sympathy or guilt were inin prison?” her expression as she continued waving her wand over Hermione. “I just bled,” Hermione said. “The cell was kept clea Hermione wanted to reach over and snap the woman’s neck. Her hands nothing provided.” shook as she struggled to contain it. Stroud shook her head faintly in disapproval. As thou Healer Stroud was indifferent to Hermione’s poorly-concealed rage.moral She superiority over Umbridge in her treatment of Herm cast a diagnostic charm targeted at Hermione’s lower abdomen. “Anything else you think I should know?” Heale “No tearing. That’s a relief. It would have been problematic. I should Hermione. have come sooner to check, but I was quite busy. Overseeing all the “I think that you are evil and inhuman,” Herm placements was more tedious than I imagined.” immediately. Healer Stroud appeared to expect Hermione to be sympathetic. She hadn’t even had time to realize the words coming o Hermione stared pointedly at the clock and didn’t answer. the veritaserum had just dragged them forth. “Your physical condition has declined somewhat. Are you going outside Healer Stroud’s expression flickered for a moment. to exercise daily?” Healer Stroud asked with an irritated expression. “Well, I suppose I left myself open for that. Anything a Hermione stiffened; her chest tightened as she tried to breathethat andyou think I should know?” answer the question indifferently. Hermione thought for a moment. “No.” “I—wasn’t. But the High Reeve has begun ensuring it.” “Alright then.” Healer Stroud glanced over her notes on “Are you walking? Long walks are important for the constitution.”I nearly forgot. Remove your stockings.”
felt so tight she could barely manage to draw even shallow breaths. sometimes. She went into the bathroom and bathed. When she re-emerged she She lay in bed and turned it over and over in her mind found herself glancing repeatedly toward the center of the room. Sheevery was detail. The light in his eyes. The nervous, intense way terrified that Malfoy might choose to vary the experience. She found herself from his cigarettes and exhale sharply. The exhaustion in h clinging to the hope that the table would appear and he wouldn’t do anything his hair stood on end. novel. She wished she’d hugged him. Or taken his hand. Or She didn’t want to be raped in a new way. told him how important he was to her. She nearly sobbed with relief when the table appeared at precisely 7:30.Told him how much she needed him. That he was her She wanted to slap herself. In what world of horror was a woman happy she would follow him to the ends of the earth. That she w that she was going to be raped in a familiar manner? recover if she lost him. Malfoy came and went for five evenings without a word to her. In She wished she could go back in time and find a way precisely the same manner as he had during the previous month. gone wrong. Whatever it was. That she could go back and Every evening Hermione gripped the table and imagined herself brewing go to Hogwarts the day of the final battle. the anxiety potion. She had so much free time to mull over things she had Go back and warn the Order of what would happen if started trying to guess how to reverse engineer it. Their argument in the memory was a familiar one. Herm She tried to make it as real to herself as possible. Trying to recreate thethe Order to use, well, not necessarily the Dark Arts, bu scents and sensations. She was exacting about the details. Obsessive. ambiguously grey. As the war kept dragging on, she’d gott Far far away from the rocking. From the bite of the wood into her it and hip it had strained her relationships with more people th bones. From the sliding sensation inside of her that she refused to allow her She tried not to dwell on the question of whether they mind to attend to. the war if the Resistance had been willing to use Dark Mag She was not there. The war was over and lost. She was brewing a potion. She pressed her hands against her eyes and tried to fo She removed a pewter cauldron from the shelf using a step-stool. away. With Whatever the answer was, it would be as painful to a practiced flick of her wand she conjured a flame. She waited until the metal be futile. reached a medium temperature before adding the billywig sting slime. She Oh Harry… would hold the vial in her right hand, and tip it. The sharp scent would tickle Had she told him she loved him the day he died? Had her nose. to him? The pewter and heat would cause the levitating properties of the sting She couldn’t remember. slime to evaporate after boiling for one minute. She would bottle the steam Hermione curled up in her bed and wrapped her arms and use it as an anesthetic on localized injuries. She would remove a asloth mimicry of a hug. When she’d been in the cell, she’d w brain from a jar and using a long knife slice it so thinly the pieces possible were to die from the devastating loneliness she felt.
Along with the breakfast that morning, there arrived a vial of— She felt feverish still. She dragged the blankets off her something. Hermione did not recognize the potion. She stared at itunder and them, pressing her cheek to the window. sniffed it but wasn’t sure what it was. She set it aside. She hadn’t been She was sick the whole day and apparently Malfoy h commanded to take it, and until she was commanded, she had no intention because he didn’t show up expecting her to go outside of imbibing any unfamiliar potions. afternoon he arrived without a word despite the daggers sh She made her way to the stairs and stood, staring down them. Itand wasled her out to the veranda. She discovered that time. She was going to descend the stairs by herself. The fact that she hadn’t acclimatised her somewhat. She was able to manage walkin already done so was pathetic. It was just a staircase. Just a staircase leading without having a total panic attack. She shook and had to a hall she’d already walked through dozens of times with Malfoy. hyperventilating but her fear didn’t swallow her. Getting Her shoulders shook with an almost imperceptible tremor, andand sheinto the hedge was the hardest. But once she was amo squared them. yew, brushing her fingers against the walls, and focusing o She felt like a frightened child. route, she was able to get herself to breathe somewhat eve She hated it. When she returned to the veranda Malfoy was gone. Ap She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. Then she pressed that he was no longer obliged to monitor or walk her. her hand against the wall and slowly took a step. The potion appeared again the next morning. Hermio She was going to escape, she told herself. hours debating with herself over whether to take it again. T Before she got pregnant, she was going to escape from Malfoy Manor. of spending another day going through withdrawal made h Someday she was going to come back and murder Malfoy. the end she gritted her teeth and downed it. She was going to be free. Free. Somewhere with sunshine and magic and She crept through the manor like a shadow and explore people who wouldn’t hurt her. She was constantly on alert for the sharp tap of Astoria’s s She focused on the thought until there were no more steps left encountered to the witch since the night she'd taken Herm descend. room. But Hermione had occasionally caught glimps She glanced around. Her hand was still pressed against the wall.watching She from the windows when Malfoy had taken her ou could feel the faint texture of the wallpaper. Touching the walls seemed interested to in testing whether Astoria’s early threats had bee help her keep her heart-rate somewhat reasonable. She explored most of the main wing that day. There we She went into a tea room, coatroom, and a drawing room. Exploring that were locked she realized that Malfoy had probably k them all thoroughly. The portrait stalked Hermione the entire time. with her blood. Caged her within her own blood signature Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. The next day her withdrawal was worse. Even the cords for the drapes were spelled to be irremovable. She Then three days later the potion did not appear with bre opened sideboards, and cupboards, and linen closets and there wasn’t suspected a she knew why and could barely eat. She paced m single thing inside of them that was useful. Not as a weapon she couldand use.then went and sat under the spray of the shower dow
She wondered how many house elves the Malfoys had. There wasn’t so Astoria had struck Hermione as a bit flighty. Given how much as a cobweb in the darkest corners of the attic. to ignoring Hermione’s existence, she probably would no The next morning she woke and felt like a boulder had been placed with onemploying the same overabundance of caution that M her chest. Pinned to her bed and overwhelmed by the whiplash of despair Hermione returned slowly to her room and stared ac she’d been unable to experience the day before. She fought to breathe.landscape below her. She felt drained from her “excursion The twelve hour respite made all her emotional pain hurt more. Cast though it she’d run a marathon. into stark relief. She hadn’t realized how deep the cuts of grief and loneliness Everything took so much effort. reached inside of her until she was briefly freed from the pain of them. She rested her cheek against the glass and felt freshly aw As the weight of it bore down on her once more she felt as though she Even if she managed to conquer her agoraphobia, that were being ground to dust. She could almost feel the edges of herself a start. No matter what lies she whispered to herself. The t crumbling and breaking. Dissolving into ether. There was almost nothing remained entirely at a loss about how to accomplish anythi left of her but hurting. She glanced down at the manacles around her wrists. Her spine and the back of her neck felt overheated. While the rest of her She’d been considering and experimenting with their ab body was clammy and icy cold. Her skin was damp. As though she’d sweated several days. Ever since Malfoy had been able to override the potion out in the night. She had started to analyze more carefully how the compuls She rolled from the bed and was violently sick upon the floor before she She had been baffled over how they could be so power could bolt for the bathroom. various dark artifacts during the war. The manacles were She slumped down, shivering. Her body felt leaden. She could barely she’d encountered. move her arms. She wanted a shower. She was too hot and too cold. She started her experiments by trying to disobey the She was thirsty. She was desperate for water. quietness by attempting to scream. The concept was les She wanted a hug. obedience. She was allowed to make noise and speak wh A fresh wave of loneliness struck her so abruptly she burst into tears. seemed like the easiest one to try to overcome. She’d th Feeling sick and weak made her feel like a child again. Desperate for fought her hard enough she could force her way through by sh mum to fuss over her and lay a hand against her forehead. For comfort. the same manner that strong-minded individuals could eve She couldn’t even remember her mum but she missed her nonetheless. the Imperio. She recalled being in bed and having cool fingers on her face, brushing away She was fairly sure she qualified as at least a somewha a lock of hair and then resting on her cheek. individual. When the wave of nausea finally passed she dragged herself into the When she tried to open her mouth to scream, she j bathroom and after drinking several glasses of water, dropped herself into didn’t a matter how hard she fought to force sound out. Sh lukewarm bath. the manacles began growing hot. It was like having a hangover while sick with the flu. Perhaps it was what She couldn’t beat them.
measure to repress her. her body would betray her with a panic attack. She couldn’t even scream or rage with frustration when she realized The it. potion could easily get addictive. She had so much fury inside herself she felt as though she might burst into Not that Malfoy would allow it. Healer Stroud had flames. potions for anxiety could interfere with pregnancy, so she w She wanted to break something. She wanted to use magic and going make to be dosed with it for a short time. something explode. She wanted to do something that would hurt. Hermione wished she knew more about magical pregn She wanted to punch a mirror the way people did in movies. To see a largely the overlooked aspect of her training as a healer. Give glass shatter and fracture until it looked the way she felt. She wanteda quill her she could write a thirty inch essay on anxiety potio knuckles to split and bleed and feel the pain in her metacarpal bones, interacted with healing magic and dark curses. But pregnan through her palms and into her wrists… She was desperate to feel something from casualty healing. Almost no one had babies during th other than the emotional agony she felt she was drowning in. did, they stopped fighting and went to a midwife. But she couldn’t. She wondered how the potion was made. She was a She tried circumventing the manacles in various ways. contained billywig sting slime, valerian and sopophorous b The compulsion went beyond merely not screaming or speaking unless brain mucus too. She thought back over the flavor and tin spoken to. She couldn’t be loud because she was commanded to be quiet. swallowed it. Perhaps that was a reaction of the sting slim She couldn’t bang a door or stomp. Any method that occurred to syrup make of Hellebore. noise; when she tried to do it, she was stopped. It was nice to have something new to think about. Her b That was when it began to dawn on her that she was also theit one had scratched itself raw ever since the war. Completely sta controlling the compulsions. She was commanded to be quiet. It wasnew herto turn over in her mind. It was full of the past. Review awareness of being unquiet that activated the manacles. Anything thatand sheagain. Wondering what had gone wrong. considered loud, resisting, disobedient, she couldn’t do. Her past was like a millstone. Always dragging her dow That was why Healer Stroud had been so concerned with ensuring inexorably the back as she wondered again and again what had mental stability of all the girls. If they lost their minds, the compulsions Had she known? Had she known why the Order h couldn’t control them. That was why the screaming girl had been able Known to and hidden that information? Chosen to to attack someone. concealing it? The manacles were as limitless in their restrictions as Hermione’s Why? As Malfoy had said, she had lost the war. What w creativity. protecting even in the aftermath? Knowing that everyone Hermione tried to focus on something else as she tried to stomp herwas feetalready imprisoned or dead? or slam a door. Performing mental arithmancy. Mentally reciting the recipe Like Dumbledore’s death the details surrounding the en for a Draught of Peace. The manacles still activated. foggy. She couldn’t remember why they had gone to Hogw She had run out of new ideas about how to try circumventing them. even remember getting captured. She remembered Harry
hair. She had assumed it was for genetic testing. It hadn’t occurred to felther like they had been injected with acid. At least it was a that it would be used to perform a blood magic ritual. her rage. That meant that she was, by her lifeblood, tied into Malfoy’s She wouldn’t be able to kill Malfoy. The manacles mad consciousness. He could sense her in the back of his mind. It was like blood She couldn’t escape on her own either. wards on estates and castles, creating a subconscious connection to the Lord Umbridge hadn’t even bothered with laying a com in possession of it. Blood wards allowed the owner to detect when someone escaping. That was how certain she and Healer Stroud w entered or tried to tamper with anything. Hermione existed in Malfoy’s couldn’t mind get the manacles off. That detail was the only loo in a similar manner. currently had to exploit. She could do things with the inten If she weren’t entirely emotionless she would have been cold with horror. She had reviewed everything she knew about the m He nodded. Hannah had made no mention of anyone ever getting t “You’re Potter’s Mudblood. Additional security measures whatever were laxness or camaraderie had been developed wi considered necessary. So, let us establish now how things work: I will always guards. The manacles had a trace in them but rather than know what you’re doing and I will always be able to find you. Unlesstoyou take them off, Angelina had attempted to steal the trace can get those manacles off.” He eyed them and gave a faint smile. “I would Quite a number of people had managed to escape H dearly love to see you manage such a thing.” people Malfoy had killed. No one had ever successfully He laughed. because none of them could get the manacles off. “Perhaps you can start by seducing me,” he advised drolly, leaning back What had Hannah said? Unless Hermione could cut her in his chair, and looking her up and down. “Steal my heart with your witnever and escape. charms.” How did the manacles come off? Hermione rolled her eyes. Two Death Eaters had come to Hogwarts the day the ne “Right. Maybe tomorrow,” she said, her mind already churning. “Well, put on. Yaxley and Rowle. They had been called up when t this has all been very illuminating,” she said. “I won’t disturb your reading stunning all the women, and they’d been gone when she’d b further.” Only Death Eaters bearing a Dark Mark could remove Then she turned on her heel and strode back into the hedge maze. She had two options. She had to find a way to make M She wound and twisted through the hedge-maze as she thought.her Her or help her to escape. There were no options that exclud options had narrowed further. Malfoy clearly did not expect her to escape. matter if the Manor had an entire set of camping gear, a ba He did not even appear concerned about it. She didn’t blame him. She didn’t and a weapon she could somehow touch, it would all be us expect to be able to escape either. couldn’t get the manacles off. It had already been a fool’s hope. Now it felt like total idiocy. She sighed She snarled quietly to herself in frustration and rolled faintly and watched her breath puff away as a cloud in the cold air. doing push-ups until she couldn’t lift herself off the groun When the potion wore off she was going to be severely depressed. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.
He glanced around the room. His eyes landed on the vial of potion probably Avada myself. You only register when you’re do Hermione had refused to take earlier. He summoned it across the room interesting. And it spares me from having to show up jus wandlessly and caught it deftly in his right hand. trying to descend a staircase by yourself.” “I realize that, being a Gryffindor, there are certain obvious things that Non-drugged Hermione would have flushed angrily at you will always somehow fail to comprehend. I suppose I shouldn’t Present really Hermione just blinked and considered the informa be surprised that you somehow missed the implicit instruction that you So it wasn’t a constant thing. That was good to k should swallow this,” he said, his mouth quirking in faint bemusem*nt.something registered enough he was somehow able to delv Hermione crossed her arms stubbornly. While it might be strategically foremost thoughts. That—was a problem. advisable to seem docile and obedient, as a former Potions Mistress, She studied him. She would have to steal whatever it Hermione was far too paranoid to agree to such a thing. monitoring her with. Umbridge had described it as a char “What is it?” she asked. head of the household. Hermione wasn’t sure what it c Malfoy’s expression grew gloating. charms were normally something metal to channel the ma “I’ll tell if you swallow every drop like a good girl,” he said, flashing Andathey needed to be worn; necklaces or bracelets or rin malicious smirk. common. Hermione did not budge. Malfoy smiled faintly as he stared at her. Malfoy didn’t seem to wear any jewelry, not even a we “Come here, Mudblood,” he commanded after a moment. only visible piece on him was the black ring on his right ha Hermione glared at him as her unwilling feet carried her across the room Maybe that was it. to him. They didn’t stop until she was mere inches from him, so close her “You can’t steal it,” Malfoy drawled. robes brushed against his. She looked at him sharply. She stared balefully down at his shoes. “It’s not a thing. It’s not this,” he said, and raised his h “Look at me, Mudblood.” the band she’d been eying. He slid it off his finger and tos Her chin raised itself until she was staring into his eyes. He wascaught still it reflexively and studied it. smiling. It was some type of black metal. It didn’t seem to have a “Surely you are aware that I’m not going to kill you,” he said. Hismagical eyes signature the way something connected to the man were dancing with cruel amusem*nt. “After all, if I were, I imagine you’d maybe it still was. He might be lying. Maybe he was trying feel obliged to come running.” She wondered what he’d do if she swallowed it. Hermione glowered. Yes, she knew, but poison was only one of the He burst out laughing. innumerable things he could dose her with. Her heart was pounding in her “Don’t swallow it.” chest, and it made her ears roar. She looked up sharply and he quirked an eyebrow “Open your mouth,” he commanded, unstoppering the vial, andsmirked then and held out his hand. She reluctantly dropped it i proceeding to upend it into her opened mouth. “Swallow all of it.” he slid it back onto his finger.
monitor charm, even a specialized one, couldn’t possibly differentiateinside that it. As though someone had plucked out her brain an precisely. a tank of ice water. Her body was there, but her mind was— Unless… experiencing herself in third person. Malfoy was somehow reading her mind through them— Her heart rate dropped to a steady beat. As soon as the thought dawned on her she felt certain she was right. She should be panicking. It was as though her conscio How, she wasn’t sure. But she was willing to bet on it. severed from her endocrine system. There was no surge How irritating. She should be enraged but couldn’t summon it.norepinephrine. She No fear. should be swallowed by despair. But intellectual aggravation was as much as It was merely an observation: she should be panicking. she could muster. She looked up at Malfoy. As though his legilimency wasn’t invasive enough; trawling through her She was aware that she hated him. This was a piece of mind as though it were his own personal oyster bed. She was certain heseemed was of utmost importance, and yet she couldn’t feel also somehow reading her mind through the manacles. construct rather than an emotion. He never skimmed her thoughts. She had noticed. She remembered how He was staring at her intently. Snape used to do that with students. Dip in through the eyes and glean what “How do you feel, Mudblood?” he asked after a momen was forefront. When she made eye contact with Malfoy he never bothered were taking in every detail, studying her face, and eyes, an to. stood before him. Her hands had stopped spasming; she Hermione turned around. She stalked out of the hedge maze and made glanced down at them. It was as though he were cataloguin her way back to the veranda where Malfoy seemed immersed in a book felton her skin prickle with awareness, and a faint shiver ran alchemy. but she couldn't feel a corresponding wash of fear. Just aw He snapped the book shut and looked up at her while she stood staring “Cold,” she answered. “My brain feels cold. What did y at him. Hands on her hips. “It’s intended to acclimatise you to the estate,” he said, She couldn’t say anything but she could glare. he continued to carefully appraise her. “So that I am no l He seemed to realize that she couldn’t say anything and just smirked monitor you in person.” faintly and looked back at her. Hermione said nothing. Her brain was analyzing. “Yes?” he finally said after nearly a minute. The unfamiliarity of the manor upset her. The unkno “Are you reading my mind?” she said. panic. The potion blocked that. She could go wherever she He smiled broadly. The potion blocked everything she realized. She wasn “And it only took a month for you to realize it,” he said in mock praise. Or ashamed. Her grief was gone. Her rage. “Although granted, you have been rather busy crying and moping and being She was—nothing. afraid of hallways and the sky.” She simply existed in cold nothingness. The nice thing about having no emotions was that Malfoy’s nastiness She looked up at Malfoy. “Is this what it feels like to be
not be able to detect anything until too late. Malfoy became stone-faced. He gestured toward the do She went to get her cloak and followed him outside. H veranda and watched as she descended the steps by herse been cleared from the gravel path but she could feel the co her toes through her shoes. It was bitterly cold that day. She hesitated for a moment, trying to decide where walked over to the hedge maze. On all her walks with Mal gone into it. She was quite curious about whether she co through. It was huge. The hedges towered over her. It made her alfoy laughed faintly. maze from the Triwizard tournament. She doubted Malfo “Like it?” he asked. try to eat her or contained any dark creatures. She wande She tilted her head to the side. He was easy to look atlooping, now twisting, winding path and thought about the po that she didn’t feel frightened or overwhelmed by her hatred of him. She did down her throat. forced have a conscious awareness that he was dangerous, but her body didn’t have She’d had the passing thought that he was dosing himse any physical reaction. No twisting in her stomach. No tripled heart-rate. He to be such a cold and evil bastard, but she dismissed it a could have been a statue. thought. The killing curse was emotion based magic. Impos “It feels like I’m dead,” she said. detachment. He nodded as though the statement didn’t surprise him. Although, Malfoy seemed terrifyingly capable of some “The effects are temporary. It will fade after twelve hours. rules Andaround that curse. eventually you’ll become immune. It should work long enough for you to Putting aside Malfoy and the mystery of his bottomles acclimatise to the manor and estate.” she could use the potion. She could make far more progr Hermione stared up at him. escape under the influence of the potion than she had be “You’re being different to me now. You’re less mean. Why are youlast even month. So much so that it seemed suspiciously careles doing this for me?” she said. She furrowed her brow in confusion. She paused to consider. Apparently she was still able to feel confused. Malfoy was not careless. No matter how much he hated He quirked an eyebrow and leaned forward so close his breath ghosted He wouldn't be careless. There must be some kind of failsa across her cheek. confident enough to dose her with something so power “I’m not doing this for you, Mudblood,” he said softly into her ear.possibly “I’m risk it otherwise, even if he found monitoring he doing it for me. You wouldn’t react anyway.” torture. He straightened.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
M
She stared in astonishment. She couldn’t recognize any of them; they In the meanwhile she would prepare the sopophorous were all bonneted and following wizards around as though they use were twenty. Crushing them under her silver dagger’s blade shadows. Their heads were tucked downward and their shoulders curled the juice. Feeling the pressure in the knuckle of her thumb a forward submissively. She imagined the sensation of the bean giving way under Some of the wizards they accompanied were Death Eaters. Hermione the juice was added she would stir the potion clockwise tw recognized Amycus Carrow, Mulciber, and Avery. The other wizards silver were brewing rod and then eight times counterclockwise younger. She thought one might be Adrian Pucey and another Marcus Then Flint. the potion would be covered and left to brew on a The surrogates, Hermione realized as she watched, were being used for asseventy-three hours. The slow brewing was necessa status symbols. Paraded about to show off a bloodline’s importance. somnolent properties of the sopophorous juice. The potion Hermione‘s chest grew tight and her face twisted as she watched. green. In the seventy-fourth hour she would add minced m The women didn’t go near each other. Presumably they had abeen crushed squill, valerian, and powdered ashwinder eggs ordered not to wander. But as two of them happened to pass each bring other it to a rapid boil for thirty seconds and then use a c Hermione saw their hands brush for an instant. To pass a message or merely reduce the temperature to just above freezing. The potio for comfort Hermione couldn’t tell from the distance overhead. midnight blue with an aqueous consistency. Then she wo Hermione had assumed that the other surrogates were kept cloistered hellebore over the surface. One drop for ten slow clo away in houses the way she was. Clearly it was a mistaken assumption.counterclockwise stir rotations. Her arm would tire slightly It was Hermione who was the exceptional case. Order member. Hidden all until the potion thickened and stuck to the ash stir rod. memories. Blood-bound manacles. Given to the High Reeve. Taken withtoa silver rod and bring it to simmer for five minutes be Voldemort. from the heat and allowing it to drop to room temperatur It was possible the other girls were even permitted to go out alone. It would In become dark grey and syrupy. It would yield twen fact, given that they were traceable, there wasn’t necessarily any reason that She brewed it in her mind every night. Adjusting they couldn’t. techniques. Revising the order of added ingredients. By th Perhaps Hermione was even technically allowed to do such a thing. was almost positive that she had figured the entire recipe o Although somehow she doubted it. If she wasn’t allowed visitors it seemed On the sixth day she forced herself to go outside alo dubious that Malfoy would let her leave the estate. otherwise Malfoy would show up and order her to. “One minute till midnight!” a witch with a sonorused voice called out Conquering her agoraphobia, she had decided was her f gaily, interrupting Hermione’s thoughts. “Get ready for your New Year's schemes involving Malfoy would wait until she could kisses! outdoors consistently. Astoria swept back into the room. Her robes were straightened and her Deep down she suspected she was merely deluding her expression innocent but there was a faint sense of dishevelment about him. herBut she was at a loss as to how to trick him into killi person that seemed obvious to Hermione. Her lipstick was faintly smeared couldn’t even talk to him without his permission. As for s
as though they had been underwater, the words exchanged were Malfoy would find it in her memory. indecipherable. He had looked at her intensely as he said something, She stepped sharply back and fled silently up the stairs. watching her reaction. She remembered feeling skeptical but determined. route toward the ballroom. Moody said something else and Hermione shook her head. He nodded She had gotten quite good at navigating most of the m sharply and when he turned to leave he had been stone-faced. But his eye sheasdidn’t rush herself and used the walls as a touchsto he looked back had hesitation in it. Alastor never hesitated. After Alastor almost anywhere. had gone she stood alone for several minutes. On the third floor there was a cramped, twisty little sta She didn’t know what the dream meant. She tried not to dwell on it. a balcony alcove over the ballroom. Hermione assume Hermione explored the main wing of the manor. The portraits located were in the ballroom. apparently strictly forbidden from speaking to her. They watched her withShe’d a hoped to go somewhere where she could listen gimlet eye but never uttered a word. She explored the hedge maze until but she Astoria’s hallway affair had interfered. Hermione repla could walk through it with her eyes closed. She couldn’t quite manage witnessed. The act itself wasn’t surprising but the indi anywhere else outdoors unless she crept along the side of the manor. excessive. Cheating on her husband in a hallway filled Open spaces were still very difficult. She couldn’t even peel herself portraits. off Even if it were an open-marriage the overtness s the wall when walking down the larger hallways. And she could barely stand Hermione slipped into the alcove, knelt down and to set foot inside the ballroom in the main wing of the house. railing, down at the party. The ballroom was filled with p After ten days Healer Stroud arrived again to see if Hermioneout was in their most lavish robes. The room was resplendent i pregnant. Hermione was not. Hermione had been exercising aggressively Glittering. in The chandeliers were lit with fairy lights and in her room to funnel her rage. Healer Stroud was pleased to seeroom the a tower of champagne belle coupes had been const improvement in Hermione’s physical condition. at least six feet tall; champagne was flowing down it in an The next day when Hermione entered her room shivering from herfountain. walk she found Malfoy there, waiting for her in full Death Eater regalia. It was a party meant for the society pages. The “Fancy an outing, Mudblood?” photographers snapping pictures for the next morning’s pa Hermione stared at him, taking in what he was wearing. His face was an Hermione saw Pius Thicknesse and several other imp expressionless mask as he approached her. the Ministry. There were dozens of Death Eaters Hermion “Did you forget?” he asked, his silver eyes flickering. “Two months. No A flash of pale blond caught Hermione’s eye and sh pregnancy. The Dark Lord is eager to see you.” engaged in a conversation with Dolores Umbridge. The Wa He gripped her by the arm before she could back away and apparated. in pink and fuchsia dress robes with a plunging necklin suggestively nestled in her bosom. Umbridge was simpering and touching Malfoy on th remained stone-faced. His eyes kept surreptitiously flick
While she was thinking, Hermione laid aside the piece of paper her spasming fingers had wrecked. The Malfoys were hosting a New Year’s Party in the manor. She would have had no idea if Montague and Malfoy hadn’t appeared. She stood and went to the door, hesitating. She wanted to see people with her own eyes but the thought also terrified her. If anyone saw her they could do anything they wanted to her unless Malfoy showed up and stopped them. Her sharp, instinctive relief at his arrival earlier unsettled her in more ways than she wanted to think about. Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. She stood at the door for several minutes before hesitantly opening it. he hall that Voldemort resided in was damp She crept down the hall and slipped into one of the disused servants reptile cage. Somewhere underground. The wal passages, winding her way toward the main wing of the house. see in the darkness were stone with no window Gradually the sound of a string quartet began to reach her ears Far underground. accompanied by the buzz of conversations. She stopped and listened. The air was thick and sour. Stale. Putrid with dark mag Music. Hermione broke out in a cold sweat and Malfoy dragge She hadn’t heard music in years. she She paused and leaned against the wall to absorb it. Shutting her eyes andfought to escape. It wasn’t a conscious choice. Every screamed for her to get away. breathing to the tempo of the strings. Malfoy’s hand on her was like a vice. She couldn’t wre She had forgotten how it felt to hear music. He barely seemed to notice that she was writhing in his gri After fifteen minutes she remembered herself and continued on her way. “My She cracked open a door and peeked into a darkened hallway to see if it was Lord,” he said with a respectful tone as he bowed. the Mudblood. As you requested.” clear. She was about to step out when she heard a rustle of fabric and a His words were punctuated by Hermione’s panicked s woman’s giggle. Hermione stepped sharply back and watched Astoria dart as she tried to quell her panic. A crushing weight sudden around the corner grasping someone’s wrist. A male wrist most distinctly her back and forced her prostrate upon the moist stone not belonging to Malfoy. Hermione couldn’t see clearly in the darkness but the build of thebarely man breathe under the pressure and fought to drag o throat as her jaw was ground into the hard floor. The sou was wrong. Broader and shorter. And not pale enough or blond. Astoria leaned back against the wall and the man closed in on herears. until “Oh, yes,” Voldemort murmured in a caressing w Hermione couldn’t see the blonde witch at all. Hermione’s eyes widened as mentioned she was not yet gestating.” the giggling gave way to breathy gasps. Hermione rolled her panicked eyes upward so she could
CHAPTER TWELVE
T
dais, forcing her to her knees at Voldemort’s feet. Suddenly there was a sharp crack and Malfoy appeared Voldemort didn’t sit up. He turned his head slightly and wiped the corner thin air. Hermione started and shrank toward him, of his mouth. Hermione squeezed her eyes shut but he drove into her mind. approaching stranger. His mind inside hers felt like a branding iron. He was burning her. Damaging The intense, triumphant expression on the young m her. She was screaming and screaming until her lungs and throat gavesharply out into indifference at the sight of Malfoy. The shiftine and she just shook in agony. falling away as he straightened and glanced around Hermio Hermione had not realized how much her shock from being removed “Lose your way, Montague?” Malfoy asked coldly as he the cell had dulled everything. She hadn’t remember it hurting so much. in Or front of Hermione. perhaps Voldemort was feeling vindictive due to her lack of pregnancy. Montague shrugged. It was like having her consciousness flayed. “Just exploring,” he said. “I got curious when I saw her She didn’t know how long it lasted. Forever. She felt like she shouldof have protective wards on this room, Malfoy.” died several times along the way. Hermione’s eyes darted to the walls. Were there? She’d Voldemort tried breaking through the magic around her locked was difficult to detect certain types of wards without a wand memories and when he finally gave up he proceeded to ravage all her recent to press into them. memories. Her arrival at Malfoy Manor, the first time Malfoy raped her “The in Dark Lord entrusted her to me with specific instru his room. And the second time, and the third and the fourth and theher fifth care. It’s always useful to know when someone is tres and the sixth. He made her relive all ten of them as though he were curious replied. His tone was pure ice. to see how Malfoy did it. Her panic attacks. Her conversations with Malfoy. Montague laughed. “Is she not allowed visitors?” Her limited interactions with Astoria. Her questions and suspicions and “She is not,” Malfoy said, stepping away from Hermion schemes. He pored over the months with excessive cruelty and curiosity. the most perfunctory glance. “And if you were just curiou He razed her mind until she hung limp. Her muscles too worn toasked even me. It’s nearly midnight. Perhaps we should return shake. sure Astoria will be wanting us.” Finally he withdrew and the hands gripping Hermione allowed her to Malfoy stalked across the room and waited for Montag drop to the ground, spasming. Montague seemed to intentionally take his time. “You knew the Mudblood in school,” Hermione heard Voldemort say He glanced around the room again and then back at after a minute. intensity returned to his eyes as he stared down at her wit “Indeed, My Lord,” Malfoy said with a faint tone of derision. “One him.of Potter’s favorites.” Something. There was something he was trying to com “She dreams of your death quite desperately. More than she dreams even Then he turned and followed Malfoy out. of mine,” Voldemort said with amusem*nt. Hermione stared at the door that closed behind them fo “A sign that she has a sense of what is even possible,” Malfoy drawled.Montague.
“I am vowed to you, My Lord.” “You are aware that she is dangerous,” Voldemort sai felt magic suddenly drag her up off the floor and she hung stared at her, his face twisted with distaste. “She is lying weakness to exploit.” “You have had her carefully caged. You know I will not said respectfully. “I want her pregnant,” Voldemort said with a forcef though it were an afterthought, he added, “It concerns me line is without an heir.” “Of course, My Lord, Astoria and I have been carefu ive days later Hermione was seated on the floor by the window Healer Stroud’s instructions,” said Malfoy. folding what was, by her count, her two hundred and thirty-sixth “Very well,” Voldemort said, sinking further into his thr paper crane when the door opened and a young man peered the corner of his mouth again. “Return her to the manor th through. His eyes swept across the room and when they landed on Malfoy bowed and then gripped Hermione by her arm Hermione he entered the room and quickly closed the door behind himself. hung suspended. The magic holding her released and she His expression was shifty and he stared at her intently as he He came grimaced in obvious distaste and proceed to drag her o forward. away from the cloying, oppressive nest of dark magic. He seemed hurried. When they were halfway down some hallway Malfoy sh He was solidly built with dark hair and an angular face. He was wearing a wall and released her. She slid halfway down it and raised h formal, dark blue dress robes. He had thick stubble across his face. up to wipe away the tears crusting on her cheeks. She cou Hermione’s instinctive response at the sight of him was utter terror. through the blinding pain in her mind. She froze as though petrified and stared. “Drink this,” he commanded, slipping a vial of a com There was nowhere to run. She couldn’t even scream. potion into her hand. “Otherwise you’ll black out when I a It hadn’t ever occurred to her that a stranger might just walk into her it will add considerably to your recovery tim room one day. He paused slightly as he approached, noting her expression. She swallowed it, fairly certain he wasn’t going to p “You don’t remember me,” he said in a tone of surprise. There seemed to be a hint of offense in the words. “Did that ever happen to you?” she found herself asking Hermione studied him desperately, trying to guess who he was.began He easing so she could speak again and his face slowly seemed vaguely familiar. Perhaps from school? Someone she hadn’t known Malfoy eyed her for a moment. “More than once,” well.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
F
good luck and happiness than a single wish.” “Your aunt?” “Ok, Confucius. I’ll defer to your superior understanding of the m “Now you’re purposely trying to provoke me. Conflating Confuci “Hmm,” he hummed in confirmation, his eyes narrowed. Mythology is an offense before the gods of pedagogy. I will not let yo head with such misinformation.” They were both staring at each other intently. He felt like the only thing “Maybe I’m doing it to encourage her critical thinking…. Fine, she could see. for how horribly miseducated she’ll be now. I will accept full responsi her to be cast from civil society and forced to wander the earth as a n “Not the only thing you learned that summer,” she noted. His eyes widened I’ll be sure to cross-reference everything I say at the library first.” incrementally. “ Yes, thank you. That would be great.” “The trouble with marrying someone who never bores you is that “Are you needing a confession for something? Should I tell you everything a man in peace to teach his daughter his favorite hobby. Here, I’ll sho I’ve done?” he asked in a careful drawl. He drew closer so that he towered origami tessellations. You mother doesn’t know a thing about those. above her. by an astrophysicist who proposes using the technique to store la She forced herself not to shrink or cower down further than shesatellites.” was already slumped. She stared up into his eyes. A question rose to her lips and Hermione folded origami cranes until her fingertips fe she felt somehow that it was vital that she ask it. arranged them on the floor so they would stand, wings ext “Do you want to?” she said. The newspaper was not an ideal strength for orig something to do. Hermione hadn’t had anything to do in s He stared at her as though he were considering something. Then his eyesIt was too bad that Japanese mythology wasn’t actually grew flinty and he stepped back. fold a hundred thousand cranes if it would give her a bit o “Why would I want to talk to you about anything, Mudblood?” he said She gathered the cranes up and flattened them all. Leavi coldly, grasping her by the arm and dragging her down the hallway to pile thefor the elves to banish. apparition point. She wondered what her parents had been like. What k Hermione’s brain still felt crushed and damaged. When Malfoy apparated had. back into her room the squeezing sensation on her head made her cry out She hoped that her inability to remember them meant th and collapse, vomiting as soon as she reappeared. somewhere. That she had protected them before the war s He stood stiffly, staring down at her and banished the mess from the She hoped they didn’t know what had become of her. floor while she tried to fight off the endless waves of nausea. “Go to bed. You have two days to recover before I’ll expect you to be walking again,” he said before turning to leave. She would have glared at
guessing that I’ll be refused if I ask for a ball of string or yarn.” without a migraine. The elf nodded that Hermione’s guess was accurate. While she was poking at breakfast Malfoy strode in. “Topsy is to keep this room clean. But the Mudblood can be using the She glared at him sullenly from the bed. paper until the next paper is coming,” the elf said. “Season's greetings, Mudblood,” he drawled. “Fair enough,” Hermione said in agreement. Not that she had any choice She stared at him in mild surprise. in the matter. “As a Christmas gift to myself, I have decided to end th Hermione read the day’s newspaper twelve times before tearing itreplacing into all your shoes. It should arrive tomorrow. Please neat squares. She had spent the previous night going through a list of things it as a sign of my affection,” he said and chuckled for a m she thought she might be permitted to have. She had assumed thatface shegrew cold as he walked closer. “It’s been three days and couldn’t have knitting needles. Being restricted from yarn had been a guess, your room. I hope you’re not going to inconvenience me.” although where Malfoy worried she’d hang herself without a portrait Hermione felt too ill to feel afraid of Malfoy. catching her seemed questionable— “I have no way of knowing what the date is,” she sai Maybe outside. She’d have to look more carefully at the trees on“Perhaps the giving me a calendar could be an additional prese estate… She brushed aside such schemes to save for a later date. He stared at her. She wasn’t thinking about suicide. She wasn’t thinking about the way her “It didn’t occur to you to just ask an elf?” he asked afte head still throbbed; as though Voldemort had done permanent damage to Hermione stared at him and felt unwanted tears of hu her mind. She wasn’t thinking about how sounds hurt. Or how her hands the corner of her eyes. Her mouth twisted as she fought no had started spasming because of the clock again. Or that the way Voldemort “I can’t speak unless spoken to,” she said stiffly. had forced her to re-live being raped had felt even more traumatic than the Malfoy froze and was silent for a surprisingly times when it happened. She wasn’t thinking about how she was never going indecipherable expression rippled across his face before to escape. laughed faintly. She wasn’t thinking about anything but carefully ripping up The Daily “And here I thought it was an elf rights thing,” he said Prophet as steadily as her spasming fingers would allow her to. That was eyes all.still looked slightly frozen. “I’ll send an elf later and see It was the only thing she was thinking about. if it initiates.” When she had made several perfect squares she set to folding them. She He spun on his heel and walked out without another w started with origami cranes. When Hermione finished picking at her food an elf app She couldn’t remember exactly where she had learned to make them.dishes The away. ability felt like muscle memory, creating the precise creases in a specific “Master is wanting to know if you is needing anything,” order that she didn’t recall memorizing. her gaze. Her father? Maybe? “A calendar that indicates the date if that is possible Someone with agile, precise fingers. At a kitchen table guidingabout her anything.”
like specifically restrict her from reading. The boots were dragon-hide. When she put them “Never mind then,” she said quietly. themselves to her perfectly. She could tell they had ench “You could be having the Daily Prophet, if you is wanting it,” the intoelfthem to keep her feet at a perfect temperature. S offered. hundred miles in them and never get a blister. “That—would be nice,” said Hermione unwilling to let herself feel She stared at them in confusion. They were—excessive hopeful about it. Much like the cloak he’d provided. “Is the Mudblood wanting anything else?” Perhaps Malfoy didn’t even know how to buy norma Hermione’s mouth twitched. She almost asked the elf to callassumed her that all boots were supposed to come in d Hermione. She hadn’t had anyone call her Hermione since—since— temperature control and cushioning charms. It was hard to remember. Finding Malfoy at all considerate was disconcerting. S But she wasn’t sure she wanted to know whether the elf had specific boots for several more minutes. instructions about only calling her Mudblood. It probably did. It was easier She dismissed the notion. If Astoria owned a lapdog it not to let herself even ask. be fitted with a jeweled collar. “Nothing else,” she said looking out the window. She was just a well-shod and cloaked pet surrogate for The elf popped away. He was probably worried that if she got frostbite he’d A calendar had appeared on the wall and a copy of the Daily Prophet with her again. was on her bed that afternoon when she returned, shivering, from her walk. And, given that she was allegedly intended to bear thre December 25th. Seeing it on the wall left her frozen for several minutes. she departed the estate she was presumably expected to live The copy of the newspaper corroborated the date. She felt afraid to reach for at least four years. Possibly five or six. out and touch it, half expecting for it to burn her. An extra twist of spite. Considering how spartan Malfoy Manor seemed to be M Hesitantly she rested a fingertip on it. Nothing happened. adhered to a strict “buy it once, buy it for life,” philosoph She sat down and read it front to back. Savoring words. had to buy her twenty pairs of shoes in two months probab Reading. he found morally offensive. She had missed it. The last time when she had read The Daily ProphetIfit the boots had been given to her earlier she might h had been so rushed. about using them to escape. But as she looked down at h She read it slowly through once. And then again. And again. Every word. feel even the faintest flicker of optimism. It was mostly trash. Thinly veiled propaganda. The political news was Although it would be nice not to have her feet ache for nearly unintelligible amid all the spin. Hermione had never found quidditch The things she found herself being grateful for were tru interesting but she avidly read through the game recaps since they seemed The house elf appeared again to take away her dishes to be the only thing accurately reported on. The society pages went onwanted and anything. on about Astoria. Her name was dropped in every single society piece. “Am I allowed to keep the newspapers after I’ve read th
was a spark of something else in her eyes. Malfoy looked her over carefully but his expression d flicker. Hermione couldn’t see Astoria’s face well from her “Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!” The room started chanting the new year. As the numbers wound down Malfoy reached forwar still blank, and ran his thumb across Astoria’s mouth. At zero he leaned forward and pressed his lips aga camera flashed. The room exploded with magical firework clanking glassware as people toasted. Malfoy’s lips remained pressed against Astoria’s but as h ermione was fertile again. he raised his eyes, looking over Astoria’s head. His The table reappeared in the middle of the floor and she felt immediately locked onto Hermione’s face. resigned by the sight. It had started to feel inevitable. Hermione forgot to breathe. Inevitable. She stared back. Frozen. Hermione realized with a dropping sensation that she was growing Her stomach flipped sharply. Her heart started poundin accustomed to her cage. hear it in her ears. She shivered. She felt she should draw Malfoy was going to rape her over a table and the thought had become but found herself trapped, as though she were locked in p matter-of-fact to her. Even the word rape had started to feel faintly silver. inaccurate. He continued to stare up at her until Astoria broke Everything had started to feel— turned away. Then his eyes dropped and a false, aristocra Less. across his lips as he glanced around the room, clapping wit Physically and mentally the dread had begun to fade as her mind forced for several seconds before snatching up a flute of champagn her to adapt. She didn't feel nauseated. Her heart didn't pound painfully.tray. The wrenching sensation in her stomach didn't feel so oppressive she thought He knocked it back as though it were mouthwash. she might be choking from it. Hermione sat back and pressed her hands against her Her mind was twisting itself up with rationalization. Trying to make herher heart to stop pounding. adapt. To make her survive. The party lasted for hours. Hermione watched the so If her situation ceased to chafe, she would be less likely to risk an escape carefully. Looking for signs of tension and alliances. Tryin attempt. Less likely to provoke Malfoy. social order that existed in order to understand what was She could understand it scientifically. From the perspective of a healer, Daily Prophet. she could explain the physiology and psychology of it. It was unsustainable
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
H
like Mulciber and Nott Sr and Yaxley treated him with a mixture Hermione’s of chest expanding and contracting slowly as a subconscious deference and resentment. Ginny kept crying for several more minutes before her sobs slowe While others there might not have known why Malfoy was treated slowly so began mirroring Hermione’s. carefully by the Death Eaters, the respect was contagious. The room “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong or would you rather I go oriented itself around Malfoy in a way that was unnerving. Hermione asked when she was sure Ginny was not going to keep hyp Malfoy played his part like a benevolent king. The coldness and the sense “No—you can’t—,” Ginny said immediately. “Oh god! I don’t of danger to his person was undeniable but he layered it beneath aristocratic Ginny started sobbing into Hermione’s shoulder again. courtesy. The hard unyielding expression he wore around her was absent. She was still crying when Hermione woke from the dre He looked indulgent. He smirked and engaged in what appeared to be Hermione replayed the memory in her mind. endless streams of small talk with anyone who approached. But to Ginny had rarely cried. When Percy died she had cried Hermione, unable to make out his words and simply watching him, thehe war wore on her tears had dried up along with everyo always seemed cold and bored. had barely cried when Arthur was cursed or when George It was nearly four in the morning before the last guests departed. Hermione couldn’t remember Ginny ever crying so mu Hermione made her way cautiously back to her room. She didn’t want Hermione kept turning the memory over and over in he to run into Astoria again, or any stragglers. When she reached the hallway make sense of it. leading to her room, she peeked around the corner and found Malfoy She couldn’t remember the scar on Ginny’s face. It ha standing there. several months old in the memory but Hermione had n He glanced over and caught sight of her immediately. when Ginny could have gotten it. It had looked like some “Have fun?” he asked. carved out a section of Ginny’s face with a knife. She hesitated for several seconds before she walked around the corner Hermione wondered if she had been the one who heale and came toward him, shrugging. “It was more interesting than just reading about it,” she said. He snorted. “Words I would never have expected to hear from you,” he said. Then he stared at her, his eyes narrowed. “Why is Montague interested in you?” he inquired, arching an eyebrow. Hermione glanced up at him. Of course that was why he was there. She was surprised he was asking. He had, she’d realized, a schedule for examining her memories. Approximately every ten days. He’d skipped the last session and left it to Voldemort, but she was expecting him to show up at some point the next day. If he wanted to he could have just waited.
Hermione left the cemetery and continued exploring the estate. It felt “Go to bed, Mudblood.” endless. Isolated. Uninterrupted snowy hills stretching out as far as she could Despite the phrasing it didn’t feel like a command. He see, blindingly white under the clear blue sky. When night fell Hermione him for a moment longer before she walked into her room continued wandering, staring up at the constellations until she felt the He was still standing in the hallway when she shut the d potion’s effects begin fading away. The next morning’s paper had a picture of Malfoy an She felt so ill the next morning she thought she was dying. She vomited cover. It captured the moment Malfoy reached forward an off the side of the bed and it took her hours before she could drag herself across Astoria’s lips before leaning down to kiss her, firewor into the bathroom. She didn’t know if she could become immune to exploded the behind them. potion but she didn’t think it was possible to continue surviving it to find It looked sweet and romantic and intimate. out. Even if Malfoy sent it she doubted she’d be able to handle dosing herself On the next page was a picture of the High Reeve killin again. in France. One girl looked vaguely familiar. Hermione th She was sick for two days, pressed against the window as she shivered have visited Hogwarts during the Triwizard Tournament. and sweated the potion from her system. Mulling over Malfoy and the Hermione hadn’t realized Malfoy had left the country ea drawing room in the South Wing again and again when she wasn’t too Hermione folded the picture of Malfoy and Astoria in feverish to even think coherently. On the second night she dreamt of Ginny. tessellation and amused herself by making Malfoy and Asto Ginny was huddled next to a bed and quietly sobbing. She turned sharplyand whenthen squash into each other. Hermione entered the room. Ginny’s expression as she turned and caught sight She of tore the picture of the High Reeve into tiny strips a Hermione was anguished, her chest was stuttering sharply and ragged breaths werecoaster. being In another life, she thought, perhaps she migh gasped rapidly through her open mouth. Even her red hair was wet with tears. complex lattice-work pie crusts. As Hermione approached Ginny’s hair slipped back and exposed a long, cruel scar Then she stood up and started her exercise routine. twisting down the side of her face from her forehead down to the jaw. She was getting ridiculously fit, which was a satisfying “Ginny,” Hermione said. “Ginny, what’s wrong? What happened?” pointless feeling. It didn’t really matter how much of a punc if she wasn’t able to actually drive her fist into Malfoy’s fa “I don’t know—“ Ginny forced the words out and then started crying harder. much point in stamina when she nearly had a panic attac Hermione knelt down next to her friend and hugged her. pulled her hand away from the yew hedges or tried to mov “Oh god, Hermione—,” Ginny gasped. “I don’t know how—“ wasn’t glacial. Ginny broke off as she struggled to breathe. Choked hiccoughing sounds emerged from Malfoy appeared late in the afternoon to go through h deep in her throat as she struggled against her spasming lungs. didn’t seem to find anything of particular interest in her “It’s alright. Breathe. You need to breathe. Then tell me what’s wrong and I’lldidn’t help even react when he encountered her memory of you,” Hermione promised as she ran her hands up and down Ginny’s shoulders.someone “Just in the hallway. The portraits had probably alread breathe. In to a count of four. Hold it. And then out through your nose for a count When of six. he finished sorting through her memories he straigh
things she wanted to try to attempt before the effects wore off. them in memory she recalled memorizing them. The next morning she did not pause to read the newspaper. She knocked The fanfare is in the light but the execution is in the dark. back the potion before she could hesitate or dread the withdrawal she’d She repeated the words to herself several times. suffer later. Then she headed out the door with cool determination. Then she started counting by three as she proceeded on Her first destination was the South Wing of the manor. The only part theof hedge maze in the direction that Malfoy had claimed the house still unexplored. She started on the uppermost floors and worked was. her way down. They were the ones in which she was least likely to encounter The day passed pointlessly, filled with counting. Th anyone so she could move more quickly. useful she could find during her final exploration of the M As she reached the first floor she felt the air take on a cold, twistedness The garden shed Malfoy directed her to was locked. that she could detect even through the cushioning effects of the potion. The She did discover that Malfoy kept a stable of winged h hair on the back of her neck stood on end and her body broke out in aAbraxans, cold Granians, and Aethonens. All of which star sweat. through barred stable doors and stomped their hooves wh Dark magic. A dainty Granian was the only one who didn’t step back It was so thick in the air she could almost taste it. approached. It fluttered its smokey wings and shoved its n She froze on the stairway for several minutes calculating. bars, nickering and tossing its head at Hermione. Hermione’s instincts were strongly urging her to turn around and leave. Hermione lightly stroked its velvety muzzle and felt t But they were smothered under the potion. huffing breath against her palm. If Hermione’s mind hadn’t Her curiosity wasn’t. she might have cried at the realization that a horse was th She descended the last several steps and moved in the direction of gentle the thing to touch her in years. feeling. There was a door ajar. She peeked in. It was a large drawing room. She stood for several minutes petting the horse’s fore Entirely bare. Not a stick of furniture. No drapes. No portraits on the walls. scratching its chin while it nuzzled her robes in the hope of Even the wallpaper appeared to have been peeled off. or carrot. When it realized Hermione had nothing to o There was nothing but a large cage sitting in the center of the room. narrow head back through the bars and ignored her. The dark magic hung over the room, but seemed most concentrated Hermione lingered there for longer than she should ha around the cage. Hermione took to the paths and found the entrance o Hermione walked slowly into the room and approached it. Large iron wrought gates stood closed and would no People had died in that room. A lot of people. Slowly. Hermione wasn’t sure what she would have done if they h Hermione’s mind automatically began cataloguing the dark rituals she She wandered across as much of the estate as she could knew of that created such a lasting presence of twisted magic. Hermione found the family cemetery. Countless It had probably corrupted some of the ley lines of the estate. mausoleums buried under snow. The Malfoy Family was a As she drew nearer she found that the cage was built into the stones of Only one mausoleum was carefully cleared of snow. On
Twenty-two, twenty-four, twenty-six, twenty-eight... She wondered how many people had been kept inside i He seemed to be accumulating power without having any specific A noise startled her. She turned and found Malfoy at th purpose for it. her with irritation that bordered on rage. He knew he was shackled by orders he couldn’t disobey. Marry Astoria, “Of course you would lack the sense not to come in h sully his bloodline with half-bloods, keep Hermione under constant hard voice as he stalked toward her. supervision… He followed Voldemort’s commands with devotion despite having no apparent taste for them. What did he get from it? What was it that drove him? His power and status seemed pointless. He didn’t seem to be getting anything from it that he wouldn’t have as a mid-tier Death Eater. Sixty-six, sixty-eight, seventy, seventy-two... Of course Hermione might be missing something. He spent days away during which she had no idea what he did. There could be countless things he was doing that she had no knowledge of. There was something she was overlooking. A detail she felt she knew subconsciously but couldn’t place. Something… something. Like a puzzle she was piecing together, built from all the contradictory information she had been accumulating in her mind. One hundred and thirty-two. One hundred and thirty-four. One hundred and thirty-six. She felt something in the back of her mind crack and a page of a wellworn notebook filled with her handwriting swam before her eyes. “The fanfare is in the light but the execution is in the dark, the purpose being always to mislead. Intention is revealed to divert the attention of the adversary, then it is changed to gain the end by what was unexpected. But insight is wise, wary, and waits behind its armor. Sensing always the opposite of what it was to sense and recognizing at once the real purpose of the trick, it allows every first hint to pass, lies in wait for a second, and even a third. The simulation of truth now mounts higher by glossing the deception and tries, through truth itself to falsify. It changed the play in order to change the trick and makes the reason appear the phantom by founding the greatest fraud upon the greatest candor.
dismissive voice. Hermione looked at him. “You seem surprisingly concerned about my thinking s said coolly. Malfoy paused and stared at her again for a moment b like smile graced his lips. “Are we moving on with the agenda then?” he drawled Hermione’s eyes narrowed. “What was it again? Explore the South Wing, try to f look for a garden shed or stables, find Malfoy and try to fi exploit? Are we that far down already? You’re quite efficie ermione turned to face Malfoy calmly. Even without the potion Hermione stared at him. She wanted to be angry but the she doubted she would feel particularly concerned. She stared a reaction carefully stifled. at him as he approached. She had concluded that generally “You were in my head last night,” she said at last. speaking he was neither permitted nor inclined to hurt her. “I was trying to sleep but you were thinking rather lou Even if he weren’t desperate to get into her memories, Stroudbland had tone, picking a nonexistent piece of lint from his rob probably spelled out for him exactly why it would be inadvisable to break his foyer as though he were an interior decorator. her psychologically. “Well, have fun,” he said after a moment. “The stable “Do you keep a lot of people in cages?” she asked. rose gardens on the south side of the manor. And the gard He stared at her. His face was slightly pale, and his eyes were darkfarand side of the hedge maze. I have it on good authority that y hardened with the rage that he was just barely keeping in check. She could pruning shears or pitchforks. You might be able to try stra feel it twisting around at the edges of him. bridle, but somehow I doubt you could bring yourself to a It occurred to her that if she were to try to get him to kill her it was He smirked down at her wrists before turning and ascen probably the perfect moment. He was surrounded by the corrupting, without another word. Hermione stood and watched him d addictive dark magic of the room. She could feel it seeping into her ashallway she and then glanced around, mulling him over as sh stood staring at him. A person could get high casting in an environment likemove. next that. He had been reading her mind the night before. She wa Malfoy’s lips pressed into a hard line and she could see his jaw clench. it made anything she did feel horrendously futile. He did There was so much under his endless cold. A slumbering rage was stirring, wait to perform legilimency on her; he could just glean h rippling just beneath the surface. the forefront of her mind. The drawing room had a strong effect on him. A sly provocation and she She went back to her room and put on her cloak and might make him snap. She wondered how to go about it.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
H
Astoria retorted sharply. “This is my father’s wing of the manor,” he said. Malfoy chuckled, a cruel glint entered his eyes as they dropped down to Hermione looked around sharply, half-expecting Luciu rest on Astoria’s face. A flash of uncertainty flickered in Astoria’s eyes outasfrom somewhere wearing a maniacal expression re though she were caught off guard by the full-attention her husbandformer was sister-in-law. suddenly leveling her with. “Luckily for you,” Malfoy continued, “he’s been abroad “I was given to understand you didn’t want to lay eyes on her, Astoria. the war. I like to hope that he wouldn’t torture and curse yo Was that wrong?” Malfoy said, his tone was light—almost cajoling—but happened to cross paths, but if I were a betting man I’d h there was a freezing edge to it. “Would you rather I trot her aboutodds with are not in your favor. So I advise against regular vis me? Take her along to the opera? Perhaps have her join us on the cover want of a complete tour before we go? Just to assure you the Daily Prophet next New Years? The whole world already knows nothing she’s conveniently lying about for you to murder me wi mine. Did you want me to reiterate it?” He gestured toward the door of the drawing room and H Astoria paled visibly and glanced over at Hermione with undisguised out. He followed her closely and then shut the door firmly loathing. pulse of magic as it clicked shut; the sense of darkness vani “I don’t care what you do with her,” Astoria snarled, then turned on around her them. The door was heavily wrapped in wards. Her heel and stormed away. was probably one of the innumerable rooms she was not The instability in the air evaporated with the receding sound of footsteps. She wondered if the other rooms he kept her from were Malfoy stared after Astoria with an expression of annoyance. He turned in twisted to magic. direct his scowl towards Hermione. “Astoria didn’t say there was anywhere I shouldn’t go. “You’ve irritated my wife, Mudblood,” he said. allowed to explore the whole manor,” she said. Hermione looked up at him. He almost seemed to expect her to “I’m sure she would be thrilled if you met an unfor apologize. indignity of your mere existence aside, it might spell my dem “My existence irritates her,” she replied indifferently. She eyed him. she’d “If become a wealthy widow and free to conduct all h you 'care' you could easily remedy that.” even more publicly than she already does,” Malfoy said He snorted and looked her over. tone. “That potion really does a number on you,” he said. He looked at her so Hermione looked up at him. intently it felt as though he were committing her to memory. “And you don’t care?” She met his gaze calmly. She wished she could be so calm without feeling He glanced over at Hermione with a cold expression. like she were frozen. There were so many things about him she wanted to “I was commanded to marry her therefore I married unravel and exploit; if she could only rein in her psyche and manage herself. commanded to care,” he said. There was so much about him that made little sense to her. “You sound as enslaved as I am,” Hermione said taunt If she could only get closer. Malfoy stopped short in the hallway and slowly tur
offended right now,” she said. “Yes,” she said. He continued to study her face for several moments before a slow smile “I’ll look forward to seeing it,” he said turning to co curled across his lips. “You know, you almost seem like a Gryffindor again.” hallway. “I’ve always been a Gryffindor,” she replied. She sniffed and glared after him. His eyes flashed faintly. There was a sharp click of heels and Astoria suddenly “True. I suppose you have,” he said. corner. When she caught sight of Hermione and Malfoy h The moment stretched out. They kept staring at each other. Hermione’s and her lips pursed themselves. eyes narrowed as she appraised him. “Are we all socializing together now?” Astoria asked It seemed impossible that he was only twenty-four years old. No one voice. so young should have had such icily restrained rage behind their eyes. “Just touring the manor,” Malfoy drawled, Astoria’ Hermione had seen many faces aged by the war but Malfoy’s expressionslightly. was “The door to the drawing room in the south wing unique. He was so precisely contained, but his eyes were a storm; they “Perhaps the house-elves left it open,” Astoria said stif looked like they contained the power of the sea. “Indeed,” he said with a smirk. “It was undoubtedly th How many people had he killed? People he knew, people he didn’t know; “I thought you had business today,” Astoria said, chan none of it seemed to faze him. His face was somehow unmarked by worry; abruptly. “You said your day was quite full when I asked y young and indolent. She could see the war in his eyes, though. All the deaths fundraiser this afternoon and yet here you are ‘touring the he had caused and seen, as though the grey in them were ghosts. Hermione wavered slightly as she stood between Ma Ginny. He’d killed Ginny. Strung her corpse up in front of all her friends There was something intensely unstable about Malfoy’s wi and left it to rot. was disinclined to draw her attention—or ire. However, t And Minerva. Poppy Pomfrey, who’d first taught Hermione healing. for Hermione to withdraw from the tense conversatio Neville, Hermione’s first friend in the wizarding world. Moody. obvious. Malfoy had killed everyone left after the war. He’d wiped out the Order She remained frozen, watching the scene carefully w of the Phoenix. unobtrusive. The words felt laced with implication and Even under the potion, the hatred and rage she felt toward him Astoria for it was seething with barely veiled resentment, her teet was inescapable. She did not merely hate him emotionally. The fury over as she all glared up at her husband. he had destroyed was a structure in her mind. He deserved to suffer deeply “The Dark Lord has been quite specific that the for everything he’d done. She did not need to feel emotions to believeprecedence it. over everything else,” Malfoy said with a cold e She couldn’t understand what he got from doing any of it. He was Astoria gave a sharp, hysterical laugh. wealthy but he didn’t seem to do anything with it. He was powerful but he “Goodness, I didn’t know heirs were so important,” s was obliged to keep it anonymous. He had no apparent hobbies otherover thanat Hermione’s stomach. efficiently killing people and reading. He didn’t even seem to particularly “The Dark Lord’s instructions are what is importan
lacing his words. She was 'acclimatizing to the manor.' Hermione could barely breathe. The moist heat and the rot in the room The thought shook her to the core. was choking her and the scales caught faintly on her stockings as the coil She stared at the table and felt at a loss as to what to do tightened around her calf. The python was sliding under her robes.asShe though she could fight him. She couldn't resist any more shuddered and tried to draw her leg away. was. She could barely make out anything in the darkened hall. Her inability to He wasn't doing anything that hurt. If she paid att see left her highly attuned to the sounds of the Hall; hissing and thepulling soft her mind away—it would likely make it worse rathe shiver of sliding scales constantly shifting beside her in the darkness. She had to escape. That was all there was to it. She ha "I will not fail you. If it was the Order, I will find them," Malfoytosaid. find a way. There had to be a way. No cage was perf His voice was calm and resolute. Deadly. perfect. There had to be something in Malfoy to exploit. Sh Hermione felt her lips tremble and tears prick in her eyes. She felt outher what it was. hands shaking as rage cut through her pain. There was nothing she could She had to. She had to. do. Malfoy could hunt down and murder someone in the middle of her She kept repeating the resolution to herself even as sh bedroom if he wanted to and Hermione would only be able to standthe and room and leaned across the table. Feet apart. Don't think about it, she told herself. Worse things cou watch. I hate you, Malfoy. I hate you. I hate you. let herself think about it. "It was the Order. Who else would have known? That fool Slughorn "I'm going to escape," she promised herself. "I'm going must have told Dumbledore. Potter must have known; that was why he where people are kind and warm and I am free." broke into Hogwarts. Someone was overlooked during the purge. Someone She squeezed her eyes shut and mouthed the promise significant to the Order. Not one of their ignorant foot soldiers. I am certain and again until she heard the door click. the Mudblood knows who it is." She watched the days of January slip by. As Voldemort spoke the sense of dark magic in the room grew thick, as Malfoy came for five days. On the sixth day, he arrive though the air itself had become a solid, weighted mass bearing down inspected her memories. He seemed preoccupied. mercilessly on Hermione. She could feel her ribs bowing under the pressure Then she was left to her own devices. and crushing her cruelly into the stones. She was gasping as she tried to She folded origami. She explored the manor. She explor breathe through lungs that couldn't expand. "Perhaps, My Lord, it would be judicious to recall Severus," Malfoyread said.the newspaper. Reports on the war efforts were getting relegated to His words sounded forced. Hermione was not the only one being crushed Public fascination with the surrogates was slowly beginnin to death. society pages. They were appearing more and more freq "No..." Voldemort said in a cold voice. "Romania is crucial. There would trotted about, taken along to the opera; treated as though be questions if we were to recall Severus over an attempt on Thicknesse. Severus will remain in place. Have you learned how the locket came to pets. be in Pictures of their bonneted figures were being feat
remained focused and occupied herself with studying portraits and exploring blade tearing through her mind. She screamed through her the manor and the grounds she was able to stay calm; when she tried not to It was slower. Instead of hot, blinding agony it was think about the war and how everyone was dead. insidious pain. The kind that sank into the bones and th She gradually got so good at keeping herself preoccupied that she would mind and lingered. momentarily forget that she was forgetting. She'd breathe in and experience Voldemort lazily tore her memories to pieces; like a c a moment that didn't feel broken or grieving or despairing. with its prey. She hadn't known such a thing was possible When it was just her loneliness that stretched out before her. of things he regarded as insignificant he destroyed just to f The guilt that would strike her a moment later was as cold and bitter memory as of folding origami while her parents debated easte seawater. discovery of the Granian in the stables. He shredded them She'd freeze for a moment and then swallow the lump of horror in as her though they were paper. throat and renew her vow to escape. She felt them go...tried to hold on to them as they fade But she couldn't escape. slipped away until the agony in her mind made her forg She explored the manor from top to bottom. She found a set of wizard's reaching for. chess and played matches against herself. She built card towers with packs of cards she discovered in a drawer. She visited the horses. He was fascinated by her memories of Ginny. When h There was no way to escape. Hermione's mind, she collapsed against Malfoy and could She tried to find Malfoy but never managed to. She didn't know but if hethe angry red of Voldemort's eyes. Could she see? O were even in the manor. He could have been out or just behind a door simply she burned into her mind? couldn't open. It sometimes felt as though he must be avoiding her. Her brain hurt so much she almost expected to feel it d She had no idea how she could possibly escape. ears. Through the haze of pain that wouldn't fade away sh Hermione began to see Astoria with increasing regularity. The familiar pulse fluttering madly against the pressure of Malfoy's fing click of heels in the distance and Hermione grew adept at promptly "It's a pity you did not bring the Weasley girl back alive." disappearing behind a curtain or into a servants' passage. Voldemort finally say. The servants' passages were filled with cleverly concealed peepholes. "I am sorry, My Lord, I had no idea of her significanc Hermione suspected that, given the utilization of house-elves, the twisty she was nearly dead when I found her." little tunnels had always been primarily used for spying. The manor was Hermione stirred faintly and whimpered, trying to rouse crammed with them; some were obvious and others extremely pain wellto listen carefully. concealed. Hermione found them all. Anytime the dimensions of a room "It explains the Mudblood's attack in Sussex," Vold seemed vaguely off Hermione set to work, tapping lightly along the walls, musing tone. "A suicide mission to free a dying friend. T and pressing every knot in the wood and twisting at every sconce and screw was surprisingly predictable." until she felt something give. Some doors appeared magically while others "Indeed." The disdain in Malfoy's voice was overt.
Voldemort. Every other month until she was pregnant. They seemed to be trying to have sex in every room in When Malfoy arrived the next day he looked tired and angry. He didn't Hermione did her best to avoid them. She didn't parti say a word as he gripped her arm and apparated with her into the twisting thought of Malfoy using her memories to watch as his w tunnels leading to Voldemort's Hall. from all angles. Hermione entertained the notion of watc The Hall was even warmer and stank of rotting flesh. Hermione started him but then dismissed it; Malfoy didn't appear to care ab gagging as soon as she took a breath. Malfoy seemed immune as he pulled did, it would probably have no effect on him. It would j her forward and knelt down, dragging her onto the stones beside him.uncomfortable The for Hermione. floor was damp and sticky, shimmering faintly. Whenever Hermione stumbled across Astoria mid-c The room was almost pitch black, only a few distant sconces provided quickly avert her eyes and slip away. any illumination. There were no other attendants or Death Eaters present For a time she merely caught glimpses of the amorous that Hermione could see. but eventually Hermione came across them both fully clo "The Mudblood, My Lord," Malfoy said. had been wandering through the topmost floor of the N There was a long, slow sibilant sigh from the darkened daisshe andcaught sight of them strolling along the gravel path r Voldemort's scarlet eyes suddenly appeared. hedge maze. Astoria was speaking animatedly, and as she "Bring her forward," Voldemort said after a moment. beside her turned and stared up at the North Wing. As He Malfoy pulled Hermione forward and up the steps before pushingsheher finally caught sight of his face. down onto her knees. Hermione stared in revulsion. Graham Montague. The throne Voldemort had been seated on before was gone. He was Hermione stared down in shock as his eyes carefully sc instead reclined across an enormous nest of pythons that were all twisted windows of the North Wing. When he craned his he together into the vague shape of a chair. They were entwined beneathHermione him, stepped sharply back and out of sight. undulating lazily. Hermione's heart was suddenly pounding. Voldemort co*cked his head to the side and ran his spider-like fingers Graham Montague was Astoria's lover. Montague lightly over his chest as he studied Hermione thoughtfully. 'happened' to come across Hermione during a New Year's "Ssstill not pregnant," Voldemort said in a menacing tone. had expected Hermione to immediately recognize him. "Unfortunately not, My Lord," Malfoy said, his voice apologetic. He was having an affair with Astoria. He was visiting t "However, as you will see, the mind healers were correct that time alone daily. is He was looking up toward the windows where Herm sufficient to begin recovering her memories." with an expression of intense determination. Voldemort gave an irritated sigh and a python head emerged from the Was it all a coincidence? Could it possibly be a coincide moving mass of coils and rested on his lap. Voldemort lazily caressed the Hermione reviewed all the scenarios she could think of snake and sank further against the sliding coils beneath him. What did she know of him? "Hold her," Voldemort ordered. Slytherin. Former member of the Inquisitorial Squad.
Year's party. Hermione was thrilled. Hermione replayed everything she could recall from the night. She'd She read the news coverage obsessively. The papers t been so absorbed watching Malfoy and then the surrogates she hadn't about how it was a failed assassination attempt, but Herm connected that Astoria and Montague had been missing at the same Umbridge's time. death far more appropriate than the intended t When she'd watched him later in the evening he'd been mingling, butwas he'dlittle more than a puppet. Umbridge's sins were her ow seemed most familiar with Marcus Flint and Adrian Pucey. But the satisfaction of retribution was insignificant comp Despite her uncertain memory regarding the war Hermione was of fairly learning that the Resistance was still alive. Hermione sp certain that Flint and Pucey had been, last she recalled, mid-tier, unmarked crying from sheer joy. She found herself feeling unexpect Death Eaters. the first time in a long, long time. Earning a Dark Mark had been considered significant distinction; an The knowledge gave her a light step for days afterward admission into Voldemort's most select inner-circle. As Voldemort's hold When Healer Stroud came to see Hermione, her irritatio on Europe had grown more certain he had Marked fewer and fewer was still not pregnant became plainly visible. She cast a se followers. Hermione and studied them thoughtfully. Therefore the logical conclusion was that Montague was also a Death "Well, your sodium levels seem to be improving," Hea Eater. Marked or unmarked she didn't know. said after several minutes of silence. But that didn't explain why he would have any interest in or acquaintance Hermione stared at the clock and said nothing. with Hermione. Healer Stroud rummaged through a medical bag and p Unless.... flagon of a purple colored potion. Could he— "Drink all of this," Stroud commanded. Hermione was half afraid to even contemplate the notion; to allow the Hermione automatically brought it to her lips even as thought to exist in her mind where Malfoy might find it, but she couldn't "What is it?" stop herself from thinking it. Healer Stroud waited and didn't answer until Hermion Could Montague have been a spy for the Resistance? Could he stillentire be? flagon. Could that be what he'd been trying to communicate to her before he'd left "Fertility potion. It shouldn't be necessary but I'm out with Malfoy? not going to enjoy the side-effects I'm afraid and it's going She started watching Astoria and Montague carefully wheneverlikelihood they of multiple births." weren't having sex. She spied on them from the secret passages and grew Hermione felt the blood drain from her face and felt as t increasingly convinced that Montague had ulterior motives for being in fallthe off the exam table. The flagon slipped from her han manor. He was extremely interested in the house and his eyes wandered Healer Stroud promptly banished the shards of glass. strangely whenever Astoria was distracted. "Expect breast swelling and tenderness, headaches, m Hermione weighed the risk of trying to approach him. He was rarely swelling in your lower abdomen. It may also result in sensi
didn't have a way to remove the manacles it would all be fu Hermione decided to bide her time and continue unconfirmed suspicions than anything concrete for Malfoy She kept wavering. Healer Stroud came and found that Hermione was, pregnant. Her expression as she surveyed the diagnost irritated. Hermione stared determinedly at the clock on the "Why are your sodium levels so low?" Healer Str performing several more tests on Hermione. Hermione glanced over. "They don't provide any salt w "They don't?" Healer Stroud said in a tone of surprise t was the middle of February when Dolores Umbridge was feeding killed you?" during the attempted assassination of the Minister of Magic. Hermione shrugged. "Boiled things. Vegetables and me A statue of Voldemort was being unveiled at Hogwarts prison to rye bread." memorialize the Final Battle. Warden Umbridge was standing on a dais "Why?" beside Minister Thicknesse while Thicknesse gave a speech to the prison "I assumed it was what they were instructed to feed me. guards, reporters, and a handful of ministry officials in attendance. As the I have the freedom to question anything," Hermione said c ribbon cutting commenced, a crossbow bolt emerged from the Forbidden "You're supposed to have a balanced diet. That inclu Forest, passed through the prison wards, narrowly missed the Minister,Stroud and said with an expression of annoyance. She reach buried itself in the center of Warden Umbridge's chest. tapped the manacle on Hermione's wrist with the tip of he She did not immediately die. Shards of a necklace and the shaft of the A minute later Malfoy entered with a scowl. arrow slowed the bleeding. The guards, being ignorant of barbed, medieval "You called?" he said. weaponry and basic medical sense, wrenched the arrow out. Then she died "Yes. Is there a reason why she isn't being given any salt instantly. said. The attempt on the life of the popular three-term Minister of Magic sent Malfoy blinked. "Salt?" shock waves through the British Magical community. The Resistance "She says her food is all boiled and has no salt. It's star terrorists had been regarded as wiped out. To have them re-emerge insodium such levels," Healer Stroud said, her eyes narrowed a spectacular manner brought chaos and had Death Eaters, dressed inMalfoy. full regalia, out in force. Malfoy's eyebrows went up in apparent surprise. Voldemort took the attack as a personal insult. "The elves were instructed to provide her with meals. I Montague's visits to the manor abruptly ceased. Astoria floated through eating what Astoria and I do," he said. Then his jaw clen the manor looking wan and paranoid. Hermione heard her shrilly asking
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I
"Of course, High Reeve, I won't keep you," Healer Stroud said giving finger by being generous with his knowledge. He'd bough him a final look before turning back to Hermione. a potion mastery. That night Hermione received a full meal with side dishes and a fresh Then, once victorious, he'd cast her off. He'd had a ch salad, seasonings and, most significantly to her, a salt shaker. from being included in the breeding program and he'd d She hadn't realized how much she had missed salt until she finally had departed it for Romania and left her to be bred. again. To be raped. In retrospect it wasn't exactly surprising to realize Astoria had decided to It was such a bitter and deeply personal betrayal she co order the house-elves to keep Hermione on some kind of—prison food? herself to think about it. Peasant's fare? Hermione wasn't even sure what it had been intended to be. She got up and read the newspaper. The woman was—odd. Her indignance over Hermione seemed to manifest in whatever strange way she thought she could get away with it. And gotten away with it she had, for three months; approximately two hundred and seventy meals. Hermione never wanted to eat another overboiled vegetable. Malfoy entered Hermione's room when she was almost done eating, and walked over to survey the food on her plate. "Apparently I am obliged to personally assure everything," he said with a scowl after the meal apparently met his expectations. "You could have mentioned it." "If I were to start complaining, the food would not be the first thing I'd bring up," Hermione replied, stabbing a tomato viciously with her fork. He gave her a thin smile. "No. I don't suppose it would be." He walked over to the window and stared out over the estate while she finished eating. She intentionally took her time, and mentally recited all the irritating repetitive songs she'd learned in primary school. As she finished she glanced over toward him. She could see his profile and noticed as his eyes became briefly unfocused. I hope you die the slowest and most horrible death anyone has ever devised, Malfoy, she immediately snarled in her mind. After a moment he blinked and glanced over toward her expressionless. She met his gaze unapologetically. "Noted," he said and then gestured toward the bed.
And Snape. He withdrew from her mind. Hermione had tried very hard since her release to not allow herself to "Montague got a Dark Mark after the final battle," he s think about Snape. at her. "It was, I am told, in acknowledgement of the excep She'd thought he'd been on their side. rendered." He'd trained her into a Potion Mistress. He had devoted countless hours He was sneering as he said it. of his personal time to do so. "Did you provide exceptional services too?" she ask Shortly after Dumbledore had been killed, she had descended into Malfoy. the She had no idea if he were lying to her about Mont dungeons to Snape's door and asked in a steady voice, "If there's a battle, would bother to. what potions should I know how to make? That I probably wouldn't be able He stared down at her and gave a cruel, rictus smile. to find to buy anywhere?" Rather than sneer and slam the door in her face "More exceptional than Montague's," he said. Then the he had invited her into his office. kept looking at her; studying her face carefully and then Until Hogwarts was shut down she had spent every evening untildown late over the rest of her. into the night in his office, brewing one exacting, complicated potion after His gaze seemed softer and darker than usual. another. When Hogwarts was abandoned he'd continued to teach her She at realized belatedly that she was lying supine on a bed Grimmauld Place. felt her skin prickle. She sat up quickly. The enigmatic man had slowly seemed to thaw from pure exhaustion He as stared at her for another moment before glancing he trained her. He had no energy for insults. He was hard and demanding at the wall behind her. but generous with his knowledge. He had seemed to be one of the only other "If you have any hopes involving Montague you should people who was also bracing himself for a long war. said coolly. Then he turned and left. He shoved stacks of his own personal, annotated potion texts into her A week later Hermione had a new dream about Ginny. arms to read and drew up maps of where to forage for her own ingredients when there would be few sources to buy from. In the middle of the night Hermione was standing in her bedroom in Grimmauld Place whe and early in the mornings he took her with him all over England. He would "You're back early," Ginny said. apparate from location to location to teach her how to find plants and Hermione glanced down at her watch. harvest them so that the potency stayed high. He taught her how to build "Lucky day," Hermione said. snares and catch and humanely kill the animals and magical creatures needed "Yeah," said Ginny, looking slightly awkward. "Um. I wanted for potion ingredients. something." He didn't even say anything when she cried after killing her first Murtlap. Hermione waited. He had trained her until she qualified for a Potion Mastery. Ginny tugged nervously at her hair, her face was unblemished. She had been his staunchest defender during the war. "I—well—you, obviously know about me and Harry," Ginny s Charlie Weasley grew to hate her for siding with Snape over almost Hermione gave a short nod.
"Of course. I'll be brewing tonight anyway. It will be an easy thing to include. Do you're you still pushing for the Dark Arts when you go to the Order meeti have a preference about taste? The most effective ones don't taste very pleasant." but I get it. I realize that you see the war from a different angle "I don't care what it tastes like if it works," Ginny said boldly. Probably the worst one. So—I'm just saying, if you had someone, I'd "Well, I've already got a few vials of one variety. I can give them to you now, ifyou. you'dEven if it was Snape." like." Hermione rolled her eyes. "You do?" Ginny blinked and stared at Hermione suspiciously. "Are you—?" "You should probably stop talking now if you still want that co Hermione could see Ginny running a list of possible men in Hermione's life. Hermione said with a glare. "You're not—with Snape are you?" Ginny suddenly choked. Hermione gaped. Hermione woke in a state of shock. "God—No!" she spluttered. "I'm a healer! I keep a lot of things on hand. Good Ginny and Harry had been together. grief! What—why would you even—" Ginny and Harry had been together and Hermione ha Ginny looked slightly abashed. it. There was not so much as a trace of it in her recollection "He's just the only person you ever seem to talk to for long. Aside from Fred,itwho's entirely. with Angelina. Everyone else you just end up fighting with. And not in the hot and Harry and Ginny's relationship had been something she bothered, angsty sex later kind of way." Intentionally? "That doesn't mean I'm shagging him," Hermione muttered, feeling as though her Was that what Hermione had been hiding? face were about to burst into flames. "He's a colleague. I consult with him about potions." Ginny had still been alive when Hermione was imprison "You just seem lonely," Ginny said, giving Hermione a long look. been in the final battle. She hadn't been tortured to death a Hermione started and stared at Ginny. of the Weasleys. "You don't talk to anyone nowadays," Ginny said. "You used to always be with Ron Hermione had thought Ginny was still alive until Han and Harry. But even before you left to become a healer, you've seemed more andabout more the High Reeve. alone. I thought—maybe you had someone. Granted, Snape would be a weird choice for If Voldemort had known of Ginny's unique significan a lot of reasons—But, it's a war. It's too much for anyone to handle alone." death would have been horrific. Far worse than even what h "Cathartic shagging is Ron's thing. Not mine," Hermione said stiffly. "Besides, upon it's the rest of the Weasleys. not like I'm fighting." Hermione would have done anything to protect Ginny Ginny looked at her pensively for a moment before saying, "I think that hospitalown wardmemories to try to spare her. is worse than the battlefield." For Harry. Hermione looked away. She had sometimes wondered if it might be, but it had never For Ginny herself. been a question she could ask anyone. Ginny had been a constant friend during the war. No Ginny continued, "I think of it every time I'm in there. In the field—everythingconstant is so in her friendship with Hermione even when schism focused. Even when someone's injured. You just apparate them away and then headinback. many of Hermione's other relationships. Ginny and Lun
He rolled his eyes. "I have been investigating quietly. There are Ministry ph "No." which she appeared to be wearing it. She claimed it was a S The corner of her mouth quirked. How she came to possess it no one knows, although a "I'm a healer," she said, then glanced down at her wrists. "Or I was, atmentioned the Warden made a habit of relieving unlicensed least. I specialized in healing dark magic. I know the signs of magical possessions." corrosion. Too much of certain kinds of dark magic and it turns to poison "So you know nothing. Not how the Order managed t in the body. The body and the magic try to assimilate it. Once there's dark such an impossible distance. Not how they managed to ide magic at a cellular level, there's no going back. The magic eats the body how she obtained it. Is there anything that you know?" Vo from the inside out." Then he subsided for a moment before saying in a calmer, She set the newspaper aside. "The magic is still highly potent of course. He's still one of the most powerful wizards in the world. But physicallytone, "You have disappointed me, High Reeve, I hop forgotten what happened the last time you deep he's deteriorating. Even all that unicorn blood he's imbibing and bathing in can't sufficiently manage the symptoms. Lying in a torpor under a nestme. of Crucio!" snakes is just delaying the inevitable. Even if he's immortal, he'll be little Hermione felt Malfoy suddenly drop. He had not falle more than a shade soon. He'll fade into ether. With Harry dead, he hasinstead no collapsed into a crouch over her. She could feel his b way to rebirth himself again. If all his horcruxes have been destroyed— from the torture as a deep, guttural groan was wrenched f he'll just—cease to exist." his throat. Malfoy looked at her sharply and she met his eyes. Voldemort did not hold the curse for very long. In li "The tethers, they're called horcruxes aren't they?" she asked. minute it stopped, the shudders against her ceased and He nodded slowly. Malfoy panting near her ear as he recovered himself. "New memory?" he said. "I will not fail you, My Lord. I have had the broadhead a She nodded. of the locket examined by a goblin," Malfoy said with "During the seizure," she said, leaning back in her chair. "The Order was tremor in his voice as he started to stand again. "The broad hunting them. Ron and Harry were assigned to." "Anything else?" he said, his voice low and dangerous. wrought silver, infused with a combination of venom from "Ron was upset about the casualty rates. We were starving. I doubt it'sand basilisk venom. The manticore venom enabled the bol anything you don't already know," she said quietly. the wards—the basilisk venom to destroy the locket." She looked up at him steadily, expecting him to immediately move to "Have you investigated possible sources?" invade her mind. To verify it. He just stared at her. Hermione felt the whisper of a tongue slip across her She looked away. After a minute she glanced back up, hesitating. and sobbed quietly. He noticed her attention and inclined his head, arching an eyebrow. "A juvenile basilisk is easy enough for any wizard with a "Kingsley Shacklebolt..." she said. "Hannah didn't mention him. Everyone for keeps saying that I'm all that's left of the Order, but I don't remember—"blinding hexes to obtain with patience. The source for m is more questionable given how carefully most ingred "He died a few months before the final battle," Malfoy said, looking away
"Sssend for him," Voldemort said, the fury in his tone was overt. melted. "The The estate was comprised of endless grey. Even th She attack would have been impossible if not for his carelessness. Some of mywas still staring out the window when the door clicked over and found Malfoy had entered. He was wearing his 'h servants seem to be growing hungry." "As you command, My Lord," Malfoy said and Hermione feltThey him were clean, so her guess was that he was heading out returning. pulling her up from the floor. She stared at him. Without robes he was noticeably tall and The python coiled around her legs tightened its hold and dragged her clothing was all black but his forearms, chest and legs had back down. Voldemort gave a sharp hiss and it slowly released her with a protective gear strapped onto them. Ukrainian Iron belly h sound of sibilant dissent. As Malfoy pulled Hermione free of the Hermione coils, concluded after studying him for a moment; for Voldemort's face swam into her vision. weapon protection, unless he had a dragon taming hobby s Several of the snakes had coiled around him. He was half covered in the He was gripping a pair of gloves in one hand. about. pythons and staring at her carefully. She wondered if he'd worn that outfit when he'd killed Gin Alastor Moody, Neville, Dean, Seamus, Profe "That Mudblood is traced with darkness. The snakes can taste it.McGonagall, And Madam Pomfrey, Professor Flitwick, and Oliver Wood. H she is quite fecund," Voldemort said, wiping his lipless mouth as he studied always had it on under his Death Eater robes. her. Hermione stared back for a moment before her vision flickered Iron awaybelly hide was highly resistant to magic and almost im physical attacks. In a duel, unless the attacker could land a again. She could feel the faint tremors of torture in Malfoy's grip. used a killing curse, Malfoy would be difficult to beat. Som "Healer Stroud dosed her with some potion yesterday," Malfoy said. "As manacles blocking their magic would have no chance again for darkness—well, the trail of destruction reported in Sussex already Then again, when had Slytherins ever cared about fighting indicated that she didn't adhere to the Order's policies regarding His Darkeyes met hers from across the room and he studied he Magic." She crossed her arms protectively across her chest. Voldemort gave an assenting hiss. "Remember me now?" he asked. "Watch her carefully. Now that the Order is moving again they"To aremy profound dismay," she said glancing away from hi certain to come for her," Voldemort said. approached slowly. "You know I will die before I lose my hold on her," Malfoy said in "I a low informed Stroud about what happened. Apparently she verify that fertility potion wouldn't interact negatively with voice and Hermione felt his grip on her arm tighten. session," he said with a faint sneer. "I want their corpse, High Reeve. Whoever did it. This last Order "I doubt the combination is something regularly studied by member. I want their skull added to my collection." "You shall have it, as I have given you all the rest," Malfoy said. masters," Hermione said in a dry voice. There was a pause and Malfoy pulled a newspaper out of t Hermione flinched and tried to wrench her arm free. Voldemort watched handed it to her. She plucked it from his fingers with a cur and she could feel the cruelty and malice in his gaze as his eyes slid across "You've clearly been putting your reading to good use," he her. He opened his mouth and slid his tongue out as though tasting the air. unfolded it.
healing or potions? If she hadn't left for two years? "Once the Mudblood has given up all her secrets, I wa Would it have made any difference? Saved anyone? She knows too much to be kept in Stroud's program. Alt A lump formed in her throat as she replayed Malfoy's taunt from months pregnant, I will permit you to wait until you have your heir before: "As you command, My Lord," Malfoy said without he "You didn't even fight during the war, did you? I certainly never saw you. You weren't dragged Hermione out of the Hall. ever out there with Potter and Weasley. You just hid. Spending all your time in hospital Once they were in the winding passages, Malfoy dos wards. Waving your wand about futilely, saving people who ended up being better off relief potion. Hermione scoffed quietly to herself before sh dead." She swallowed hard and pressed her lips together into a hard line as she She tried to clear her head, struggling to see. She felt as the Hall had poisoned her. She slid weakly down onto to th stepped out of the shower and toweled off. was still in agony even with the pain relief. Yet she found She paused a moment and stared at her reflection. She hated her reflection. Hated seeing it. She tried to avert her eyes with questions. whenever she encountered a mirror. She barely recognized the person she"I attacked a prison?" she forced out. found in the glass. "After Potter died." Malfoy's voice emerged from the In her memories of herself, she'd been gaunt from stress and malnutrition. hours after the final battle. You were captured after levelin Pale from staying inside healing and brewing potions. Her skin had been in order to break in. It was an unexpected counter-attack pallid. Her unmanageable hair always carefully restrained in tight braidsreports on the damage after you were assigned to me. I that she'd kept coiled at the back of her head. Bony and thin-limbed. Her bothered to interrogate you sooner. The overconfiden eyes, large and dark, but with fire in them. suppose." Now... Her face was no longer gaunt. With adequate nutrition she had filled out Hermione looked up in the direction of his voice. She so that her cheeks were no longer hollowed. Regular daily walks meantmake her out his light-colored hair before her vision slipped leaned color was improved with a faint natural blush to it. Without a comb or any her head back against the wall to steady herself. "I was a healer..." she said. "I wasn't—they didn't let m hair ties she could only comb with her fingers and leave it to hang loose. It She furrowed her brow, trying to understand. "But Gin fell, in a riotous mass of waves and curls, down past her elbows. Her knees and elbows and hip bones and ribs no longer jutted out. She'd built upher out?" muscle mass exercising. "You did." She looked healthy. Pretty even. Normal. Like a Hermione from a different "But she was dying—when you—when you killed her. W life. her voice small and pained. But her eyes— There was a silence before Malfoy spoke. Her eyes were dead. There was no fire in them. "She was in Sussex for experimental research." The spark that she regarded as most intrinsic to who she was had gone A low sound of horror tore itself from somewh out. Hermione. She was a vibrant corpse.
In her absence, Harry and Ron had reforged themselves in to be shiny, putrefied remains. She could only see it for a moment before herto return the trio tried to resume their friendship but the her vision wobbled away again. She choked back a sob and tried blindly sent them in separate directions. wipe her hands off on her equally soiled robes. Hermione hadn't been able to share in the idealistic belief Malfoy muttered several cleaning charms and the smell around her faded. inherent quality of goodness, would eventually turn the tid He shoved her back onto her bed. her eyes it seemed to be steadily turning further and furthe "Three days," he said and she vaguely heard him leave. Order. Hermione wanted to stay conscious. So she could grieve and try to the moment she returned to England she lived in th From process what she had learned, but her mind felt faded. Like she couldn't ward that had been set up on the second floor of Grimma quite reach... spent her days and nights watching people die; watching th She pulled on her clothes until the buttons tore off and then shoved were going to die. Trying to save them. She sat beside them them onto the floor. She peeled the stockings off with her toes and tried to as she could that they'd never speak, never eat, ne as gently walk, never move again. That they'd never have children. T rub away the sensation of snake coils from her skin. It was two days before she could see reliably. The pain in her partner, head spouse, or parents or children had died while they unconscious. prevented her from keeping any food down. The room swam when she tried She lived every day in the aftermath of the battles; breathe to sit up or stand. devastation until she was drowning in it. She had nothing to do but think. When Malfoy walked in on the third day she forced herself to sit upShe andwasn't allowed to fight. She wasn't allowed in the field valuable as a healer and potion mistress. The Order couldn look at him steadily. her. "More questions?" he said coolly as he surveyed her. She stood endlessly in the aftermath of battles she had no Hermione shook her head. He looked faintly surprised. So she used what she had, her voice and her position as an "Well, one, I suppose," she said after a minute. She used her seat in meetings to urge the Order to expand Malfoy waited. She gathered up the threads of information; alldefensive the magic. She wasn't advocating for torture or Unfo inconsistencies she had collected in her mind over the months. Shehad hadjust wanted Resistance fighters to actually be given exp finally drawn them up into something cohesive. merely tacit permission to kill Death Eaters in self-defense She hadn't thought it could be a particularly fraught or com Hermione took a slow breath before she spoke. Then she met his eyes. The fanfare is in the light but the execution is in the dark. position to hold three years into a war. It was. "The war has stalled," she said. "Even though it's still officially ongoing Harry in parts of wizarding Europe. It's not being treated as significant or was adamant: they would not use dark magic; they w people. The majority of the Order had fallen in line with H consequential anymore. In fact, based on the coverage, I suspect that there Hermione had been the outspoken odd-one-out. It had ste is likely to be an armistice announced soon. In the past two years, aside most from of her friendships. conquering Britain, there has been almost no progress since Harry died." It wasn't entirely surprising that Ginny had concluded that
carefully timed and strategized move. The Muggle-born and half-bloodVoldemort used the Killing Curse—to kill Harry at Ho aurors in the DMLE and Healers of St Mungo's were arrested and hadwork at first—" their wands snapped before they could flee to the Order. Hermione's voice cracked and she swallowed hard and They would have been invaluable members of the Resistance if the Order continue. There was a new pain slowly starting to bloom t had been able to reach them in time. of her mind. She ignored it. Instead, the "terrorist organization" found themselves abruptly cut-off "That's why he had to recast the curse on Harry. Beca from the world, briefly leaving Poppy Pomfrey as their most experienced But—it wasn't just Harry. The way he's immortal...Profes Healer. Any fighters in the Resistance were brought to a boarding school diary your father had...somehow your master figured out matron to be healed of battle injuries and dark curses. Kingsley managed to recruit two general practitioner healers to set up a semi-functional life source to animate and inanimate objects. And the Ord hospital. However Voldemort's tendency towards punishing entire That's why he knows the attack this month was the Ord families, most wizarding folk were reluctant to leave their entire lives new Resistance group. Because the assassination attempt w behind and ally themselves with the Order if they didn't have to. Thicknesse wasn't the target. Umbridge wasn't either. T The war was concentrated in Britain at that point. After the British sometimes wore. The locket. I saw it when she was traini Ministry of Magic was seized European Magical hospitals sympatheticOne to of his tethers. Whoever it is, the last Order member, the Resistance secretly reached out and offered specialized training in what it was and killed her to destroy it." healing dark magic and curses. Hermione had been the only person with There was the faintest narrowing of Malfoy's eyes. Herm enough basic healing knowledge to qualify that the Order could spare.head to the side as they studied each other. It had hardly been a question. The Order needed a casualty healer, if they "I believe I missed the question," Malfoy said after a m couldn't recruit one they needed to create one; Hermione had the aptitude. "I haven't asked it yet," Hermione said calmly, tryin She was barely given time to say goodbye before Kingsley had her throbbing in the back of her head that was steadily growing smuggled out of Britain. She hadn't known when she would come back. She trained obsessively for almost two years. She was reaching the endwere of a scalpel being driven into the base of her skull. her training when the Order's hospital safehouse was compromised in the"The repopulation effort," she said, trying to breathe t aftermath of a skirmish. A Death Eater had grabbed ahold of Ernie "is a cover. It's a ruse. Voldemort doesn't care about the ma MacMillan when he was apparating there. Once the Death Eater was inside It's a piece of misdirection to keep the public preoccupied the protective wards he immediately left and brought back several more to enslave the muggles because he's concerned Death Eaters. demographics. He's doing it to buy himself time; he's entert Beyond the Fidelius charm the hospital had not been well protected. There by making public spectacles of the pureblood families was no evacuation plan. No guards. It was a bloodbath before the Order marriages and the miscarriages, and now, with surrogates. H managed to gather and send in a response. The Order lost the two healers war because he wants to, he did it because he has to." they had recruited, their healer trainees, Horace Slughorn, and almost every Pain shot through Hermione's head and the room bef injured fighter convalescing there. horrifying shade of red as though there was blood strea The Death Eaters left Ernie alive out of spite.
could get away with before they left, some small hint that D torture proved capable of dragging out from neighbors. The pride Ron experienced when his strategies were used q he discovered it was almost impossible to devise a skirmish casualties. People were not reusable pieces on a chess boar sacrificed they died. Horribly. And even if you did everyth strategically to protect them, they didn't always do as instru predicted. And even if they did, the enemy didn't. Ron tended to take every death and injury as his personal r The luster of heroism and the envy he used to have for Ha War quickly sobered him and the understanding bonded h even more closely together; mending any fractures his past ermione was on the third floor in Grimmauld Place. The hallway was created quiet over the years. They became united in guilt, determ and dimly lit; it was either late in the evening or early hours of the morning. idealism. Closer than brothers. As she passed one of the smaller rooms she caught sight of a shock of red There had been little room left for Hermione. hair bent over a table of maps. She paused and tapped lightly on the door. Hermione sighed and dropped her head down, feeling the "Hey Mione," Ron said distractedly as he moved pieces across the maps and then down her cheeks. Her lips twisted and trembled as she tho scratched his head absentmindedly with the tip of his wand. His expression was tense. Hogwarts. "Got a minute?" she asked. Harry, Ron, and Hermione: the inseparable trio....until Du "Sure." He stuffed his wand into his back pocket and looked up at her. "Just reviewing death, when Hermione had chosen potions and healing ov what's been happening since I left. Lot of raids while we were away; you must havedefensive been magic with Harry and Ron and the rest of DA. busy." Her days were spent studying healing under Poppy Pomfre He was giving her a penetrating look. Hermione dropped her eyes. were spent studying potions with Snape. Her friendships fe "I'm sure you see the strategy," she said quietly. wayside. Even her grades slid. "Kingsley's using the horcruxes to keep Harry off the field," he said. She had little time to devote to drilling defense spells. Ever Hermione gave a short nod. "You understand why, don't you?" studying defensive magic. No one else seemed to be worry Ron's expression hardened further as he shrugged and nodded. injuries or how to counter curses. Or about being able to m "No good risking him in a skirmish when we need him for the final blow. Yeah. Ineeded get to heal injuries. it. That doesn't mean I like it. And some of these—," he pulled a few scrolls over For and a month following the Battle in the Department of My glanced over them. "They're pretty much suicide missions. I hadn't realized how safeHermione had taken ten different potions daily in order to Kingsley has been playing it because of Harry. Seeing what he'll do when we're goneinternal for damage from Dolohov's nonverbal curse. She had a few weeks—" have survived it. He broke off as he stared angrily down at the reports. "What exactly were the casualty When Dumbledore died only a few months later, she had f rates while we were gone?" of how vital a role healing and potions would play in whet
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
H
A long shower relieved any remaining aches in her body. She tilted herseveral weeks and the new hospice safe house she'd helped Bill ward. head back under the spray and thought back on the memory of Ron she'd realize how depleted our resources are. How many years do you think unintentionally broken open. Horcruxes. And casualty rates. And Ginny. feed an army? The hospital ward is running on fumes. Europe is gett It always came back to Ginny. Tom's control. The only option we have left is to take risks. And we Ron. He'd looked so gaunt. So ground down by the war. His hair had Ron beenwas silent. Hermione could see the muscles of his jaw working a streaked with grey even though he couldn't have been more than twentyand releasing it. two. She'd forgotten those details. She'd forgotten how the war had eaten "We need to find the horcruxes," he finally said. Hermione let out a him; how physically the stress had manifested in him. that she'd been anxiously holding and nodded. He'd planned missions with Moody and Kingsley. He'd taken his talent"We fordo," she said. "Tom and Harry are the linchpins. Ideologically strategy and wizard's chess and learned how to apply it to war. He'd been are too diverse. It's Tom's power that keeps the army cohesive. If we c so proud the first time Kingsley had approved one of his strategies. permanently, there should be enough infighting to give the Resistance It had taken time for Ron and Harry and DA to accept that the war would "I guess that's the one upside to Tom's delusions of immortality: he is be long. They thought the magical communities would rise up in support groom a successor," Ron said woodenly as he looked over another mis of the Order. That having witnessed Voldemort's defeat during the first Hermione could see her signature on the bottom; verifying the injured, wizarding war would imbue the Wizarding World with confidence in the losses in neat, impersonal numbers. "Although I don't doubt the Ma power of Light. they're first in line now that Bellatrix is dead. f*cking psychopaths." But Voldemort had learned from the first war. He was more clever, wary, "You need to convince Harry that the horcruxes are the first priority, and cunning than he had been the first time around especially after theat Ron intently. "Especially now, after Ginny. I'm worried he just w missteps of the battle at the Department of Mysteries. He limited his reign them." of terror to Muggle-borns, half-blood families and blood traitors. He Ron expression grew strained. seized the Ministry early and had the Order of the Phoenix labeled a "Yeah," he said quietly. terrorist organization. He had Dumbledore killed in the Headmaster's Hermione own hesitantly drew closer. school by a sixteen year old boy. "Ron, I hope what I said at the meeting last night didn't make you f Any confidence the Wizarding World might have had in the power of fault. You saved Ginny. I didn't think it would be appropriate to wi Light was quickly smothered. Muggle-borns and half-bloods were a information but I didn't mean to hurt you by disclosing it." fragment of the wizarding population. It was easier for the established"It's fine," he said, expression stiff. "You made the right call." magical community to simply choose to keep their heads down and leave "I'm sorry—" the Order to fight Voldemort alone. "Don't. I don't really want to talk about it," he said in a shaking v It was difficult to fight a war as a terrorist group. no argument. Even if you had money, going to Diagon Alley and accessing a Gringotts Hermione's eyes darted across his face, recognizing the tension around vault was hard. Ministry identification became required for buying tipping his ears while his face grew so pale his freckles stood out like anything, food, or potion supplies; and buying large quantities drew across his face. suspicion. A person could be sent to the hospital after a battle but anyIf she pushed he'd explode. injuries sent to the Spell Damage ward required St Mungo's to contactHermione the felt her heart sink.
She jerked away from the hands upon her and the person, a man, stopped Then everything in her head had felt like it had exploded, t touching her. He stepped back eying her carefully. She stared at him inred, and she'd collapsed. confusion. He was pale and blond and his face, which had seemed She'd had a seizure in front of Malfoy. expressive when she'd first opened her eyes, was carefully blank. When she'd woke the first time she'd been practically imm "You had a seizure," he said in a calm voice. "Apparently fertility potions even remembered who he was. He'd dosed her with Dream and legilimency don't mix." Draught. He glanced down at a wand in his hand. "Can you speak? You were She thought back on the exchange. 'In charge of her care' screaming for several minutes." generous way for him to describe himself. She snorted. Hermione fought to swallow. Her throat felt raw, as though several She shifted her shoulders and tried opening her mouth. He minutes were a gross understatement. She tried to open her mouth andbut she could part her teeth fully. She sat up gingerly and e found that the muscles in the right side of her jaw were so tight she could She'd been treated. barely part her teeth. Seizures were not her healing specialty, but Arthur Weasle She felt exhausted. She felt as though she'd been electrocuted; her muscles from them mildly after he'd been cursed by Lucius Malfoy and tendons felt as though they'd been pulled taut until they'd been about researched it. The treatment was similar to treating someon to snap. When she tried to breathe there was a low, gasping sound thatcruciatus, a treatment that she was quite familiar with. emerged from the back of her throat. It was not exclusively wand healing but magi-physical thera She tried to remember what had happened. She tried to sit up, but herand then massaging the knots and tension away by hand. S body was uncooperative. She burst into tears. touched her. At minimum they'd massaged the entire right "Who are you?" she slurred through her teeth when she finally stoppedbody in order for the tension and rigidity to be so thoroug sobbing. She stared up at the man standing beside her. Considering that she felt almost normal, she suspected tha A myriad of emotions suddenly flickered across his face. He opened his treated on both sides from her jaw down to her toes. mouth, then shut it firmly and hesitated. She shuddered slightly, but tried to reason with herself. "I'm in charge of your care," he finally said, his expression blank once It was healing. Just healing. She'd healed hundreds and hun more. He pulled a small bottle seemingly out of nowhere. "You shouldpeople. Treated injuries on every part of the body. An inju take this. You'll probably be able to remember what happened when you Healing was healing. It was quite removed from any sense wake next." sexuality. Clinical. Bodies rarely even registered as anything Hermione hesitated and then nodded in acquiescence. He slid a hand something to heal. under her neck at the base of her skull and helped tilt her rigid body upBut sostill... The thought that someone had been handling he she could swallow it. As soon as she drank it, her exhaustion took holdunconscious of in Malfoy's house made her feel ill. her fully, and she felt herself drifting off. She clutched her blankets against her chest protectively. "Do I know you?" she asked as her eyes slid closed. She glanced at the calendar on the wall and found that two "I suppose you do." passed since her conversation with Malfoy. When Hermione woke again, the right side of her body felt faintly soreShe andshifted and hissed, glancing down. Her breasts were so her tongue had the subtle sensation of a healing charm across the surface enlarged. She stared in abject horror for several seconds be
She could still feel Montague's teeth sinking into her. The skin that Malfoy had healed was still new and over-sensitive. She fought against a temptation to claw at it. She sat in the bath and cried until the water grew cold and she started shivering. Climbing out of the tub and clutching a towel against herself she walked falteringly back to her bed. Two vials of potion sat on the narrow bedside table. She drained the Dreamless Sleep and crawled into bed. The next morning she stayed in bed. There was no reason to get up. She didn't want to move. She didn't want to think. She just wanted another dose of Dreamless Sleep. Try as she might she couldn't sleep anymore. She took the Calming Draught and felt the knot of horror in her stomach ease faintly as she lay curled in her bed. She couldn't stop thinking. Her mind would never quiet itself. There were always realizations, guilt, and mourning; something to obsess and worry over. Montague...she didn't even want to think about Montague. There was little from the previous night that wasn't horrifying. She'd somehow assumed that the situation was the same for all the girls in the breeding program. That whomever they'd been given to would be treating them much the same way that she was treated. Clinically. Mostly left alone. The conception efforts entirely non-sensual for all parties. But that was clearly not the case. It was obvious in retrospect that the surrogates had never been intended to be that way. Healer Stroud might consider the magi-genetic breeding program to be legitimate science, but essentially and far more fundamentally, it was a diversion. It made a spectacle out of the Death Eaters but it was also a bribe. The surrogates were sex slaves. Hermione realized with a bitter pang that she had been so absorbed in her own situation she hadn't considered how much worse it could be for the others.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he said in a tense voice as he her on the bed. He reached out slowly and took her by the s to her toward him to appraise the damage. His jaw clenched as he stared at her. Moving slowly, as though she were a skittish animal, h shoulders. Lightly wiping away the blood and then mutteri heal the wounds. She tried not to flinch every time he worked across her shoulders and then up her neck befor worst ones; which were clustered on her breasts. His lips were pressed into a straight line as he started he were so deep and ragged it took multiple spells to fix them ermione stared down at the square of paper she was holding was in clinical and intent as he worked. Hermione stared at hi bewilderment. control her shaking. She furrowed her eyebrows as she folded it in half, and then He'd barely touched her until then. Aside from the minim stopped, feeling at a loss. he attempted to impregnate her, the only other times he ha She couldn't remember how to fold an origami crane. She'd folded more than a thousand of them. Large and small. Day afterall was when he'd stopped her from throwing herself of when apparating her. day. She had distinct memories of folding them. He worked efficiently and finally sat back and looked a But somehow— She couldn't remember how to do it anymore. She'd kept trying to, each "Anywhere else?" he asked. morning after she read the newspaper, but somehow she couldn't figure "No," Hermione said strained voice, pulling her mang out how to make them anymore. and hugging herself. She couldn't remember the order of the folds. Was it a diagonal fold first?He glanced over at her for a moment as though weighin Maybe she was supposed to fold it in half and then again? She tried both she was telling the truth. Then he vanished the basin of blo ways. stood up. She couldn't remember. The knowledge was—gone. "I'll have Calming Draught and Dreamless Sleep Potio She had none of her previously folded cranes to look over in order to next week," he said. "I'm sure you heard, I'll be away for reverse engineer the process. The elves always banished them all by the days. You—should stay in your room until I return." end of the day. Hermione said nothing. She just clutched her robes clo Hermione sighed to herself and set the paper aside. the floor. She could see his shoes as he stood beside her. It must have been lost during her seizure. Perhaps there had been brain and walked out of her room, shutting the door behind him damage. Hermione continued to sit frozen for several minutes. The memory—the knowledge—had vanished from wherever she'd kept it.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
H
He dropped the intestines so that they hung down Montague's frontspring. like The windows were occasionally tinged with frost in but the days warmed and it rained in sheets for days at a ti watch chains. Malfoy scourgified the blood and other fluids from his hand The as he watched Montague stumble away, whimpering and sobbing and tryingrain was only coming down lightly so Hermione ventu She had gotten to the point that she could traverse most o to stuff his intestines back inside his stomach. surrounding the manor; as long as it wasn't too open. Ope Malfoy turned back toward Hermione. His face was white. couldn't handle. "You idiot—why—did you come out tonight?" When she occasionally tried to force herself past the hedge Hermione sat placidly in the gravel and stared at him wide-eyed. open, rolling hills, she felt as though someone were dissect She thought she should say something. But—she wasn't sure ifhershe nerves out of her body and laying them out in cold and remembered what it was. mind would just fold in on itself and leave her alone in a st Something about Malfoy—she thought. That's what she meant to tell the terror. man. Montague. She couldn't—couldn't manage. She wondered if she'd ever be able to handle it. Whether s "Malfoy always comes for me," she whispered. recover from the agoraphobia. The fear felt as though it ha He stared at her, his jaw locked and his fists clenched for several seconds deeply, twining inside and through her; from her brain and before he appeared to swallow something. throat, "What did he do to you?" he said in a low voice, kneeling down next to wrapping around her lungs and organs like an invas to strangle her to death. her. On the days it wasn't pouring rain Hermione spent most o He tried several counter-charms on her before suddenly one clicked and wandering the estate. She would return inside caked with m then, like ice-water, reality crashed down Hermione choice but to trail it inside and through the halls. Wizardin A strangled sob ripped itself out of her throat and she wrapped hertraditions arms of keeping door mats or boot-scrapers when a q around herself. Her robes were shredded and she could feel the bite marks could banish most mud. Hermione muttered internal apolo all over her body. She couldn't stop shaking. house-elves each day. Malfoy was kneeling beside her, utterly expressionless. He reachedHer outdays had sunk into a sort of dreaded monotony. slowly and took her arm. She woke up and had breakfast. She read the newspaper re "Let's get you cleaned up." had folded origami. She ate lunch. When it wasn't pouring With a pop they reappeared in her room and he pushed her down went to sit and explored the estate for hours upon hours. If the heavy on the edge of her bed before turning and walking into the adjoining she only went out briefly and then exercised in her r was ready to collapse. She showered. She explored the man bathroom. There was a long silence before he re-emerged several minutes later, carrying a basin and wet cloth which he handed to her. Hermionedinner. had Sometimes Malfoy came and performed legilimenc Sometimes he came and f*cked her indifferently over a tab stopped sobbing and kept hiccoughing as she tried not to cry or bed. She woke up and repeated the routine. hyperventilate. Day after day. Malfoy turned away and stared out the window while she tried to wipe There was nothing more novel than the news.
had looked visibly ground down. He only explored her mind briefly, as She wasn't sure what. though he were afraid of damaging her and causing another seizure. Was it something to do with Malfoy? Hermione began to suspect that Voldemort crucio'd him regularly; every A man was kneeling between her legs. Montague. time Malfoy reported that he still hadn't caught the culprit. She stared up at him. Glazed. He wasn't, she realized, returning to the manor looking pale with fury; he Her fingers were twitching; clawing through the gravel. was pale from the physical shock caused by torture. In fact, he looked like He leaned down toward her. he was being tortured daily. The symptoms showed more distinctly each His face was very close to hers. time she caught sight of him. He seemed visibly eroded; as though he were Maybe he was going to tell her a secret. on the verge of a breakdown. Crucio did that to a person. When used too frequently, even if it didn't Something was prodding her between her legs. She felt she should know what—but she couldn't reme drive a person insane, its effects could become long-term. Something that wasn't supposed to happen. His hands twitched the way Hermione's still sometimes did. She wondered if he was getting therapy for the torture. Whether he had time to. A secret. Surely he would; he'd gotten her treated after her seizure. He would From Malfoy. probably use the same healer. He had to have one. He'd likely put a healerBut—she didn't want to. on retainer during the war. He wasn't the type to go sit in St. Mungo's Malfoy would know—if she had a secret. waiting room. He was always in her head. She tried not to notice the symptoms; the pallor, the occasional spasms inShe tried to tell the man but she just cried instead. his fingers, the dilation of his pupils. She reminded herself that he was Then suddenly the man was gone and there was a loud trying to hunt down the last of the Order; every time he came back She turned and found the man smashed into the wall o tortured it was a sign that he had failed and the Order survived. Malfoy was kicking him so violently that there was a cr But it bothered her, as a healer. The deterioration; she couldn't stop herself Hermione sat up and watched. from noticing it and gnawed inexplicably at her conscience. Malfoy picked the man up by his throat and pulled him She ignored it. Voldemort was dying. Voldemort was dying and Malfoy knew and he they had were eye-to-eye. responded by climbing the ranks, and wiping out the Order. She had "How dare you? Did you think you'd get away with this wondered why he was so slavishly obedient even in the face of having her"You didn't seem to care about having her, Malfoy," M as the mother of his future children, now she knew why. Of course he'd "I be assumed you didn't mind sharing, seeing the way you l willing to do anything to stay in Voldemort's good graces. play. The Mudblood was supposed to be mine. You cut Ron had been right. Malfoy probably regarded himself as the successor. one who caught her. She was mine." How could he not? The High Reeve. The Dark Lord's 'Hand of Death.' "She will never be yours." Malfoy sneered as he made a When Voldemort finally faded, who would dare dispute that Malfoy was motion and sliced through Montague's shirt and into his st next in line? There was no other Death Eater who could compare. Without hesitating, or lowering Montague from where Malfoy clearly intended to become the next Dark Lord and unless
But the thought of him blank-eyed in Janus Thickey bothe somehow. Passively watching the toll that regular torture w him made her feel oddly guilty. She couldn't do anything about it, she coldly reminded her strode through the hedge maze, even if she did want to he she did not. He was a Death Eater. It wasn't as though any him to become a Death Eater or to murder Dumbledore o kill off the entire Order of the Phoenix and a large percent Resistance as a whole. He deserved every bit of suffering t with his servitude. More even. If she didn't get to kill him, the irony of it being Voldemor the deed was both fitting and satisfying to contemplate. here was some— Mostly. Something isn't right about this, Hermione thought asHermione she sighed and stopped walking, pressing the heels o was pushed against the hedge and her dress was ripped open. against her eyes. Trying to clear her mind and stop thinkin Cold. It seemed that she had managed to retained a bit of a bleed for depraved monsters. She'd always hated the mere idea o Cold air was on her. bothered her to witness Umbridge's. Apparently she could Teeth were on her throat. It hurt. Malfoy's. She didn't like it. She tried to push away but her hands were shoved roughly aside andHer thennext fertile period was made distinctly worse by the fe As it approached her breasts swelled several cup sizes large she felt teeth against her breast a moment before they bit down. bra to support them they hung and ached and were throbb Hard. Her lower abdomen swelled in a way that made her look a She was crying—she thought. were actually in the early stages of pregnancy. It was horrif Fingers were between her legs and stabbing into her. Pokingfound her herself suddenly vividly, viscerally confronted by the violently. pregnancy in a way that she had managed to ignore and av She tried to pull her legs closed but something lodged itself in between She cried. Her clothes didn't fit. She couldn't exercise, it w them. uncomfortable. She felt extremely tired and on edge. She ju So she couldn't. her room and tried to ignore all the things her body was do She didn't think— When the table appeared she found it somewhat painful to and feel her weight pressing down on her chest. She swallo This wasn't supposed to— entire body felt over sensitive, particularly in places she ver The hedge was scratching her. Stabbing into her back. Fingers kept digging inside her and teeth kept biting her shoulderswant and to think about. When she heard the door open she fo on the pain, bearing down harder on her breasts than nece breasts.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
T
He examined her memories carefully. More thoroughly than the previous collapsed into his waiting arms. time but still without disturbing any of the locked memories. He did watch Hermione's conversation with Ron repeatedly as though checking for details. When he came upon her reluctant concern over his torture symptoms he withdrew from her mind. "Worrying about me, Mudblood?" he said with a sneer. "I have to admit I never thought I'd see the day." "Don't take it as a compliment," Hermione said stiffly. "I felt sorry for Umbridge when he tortured her too but I'd gladly dance on her grave." His mouth quirked with amusem*nt. "Unfortunately the snakes ate her." Hermione found herself smiling before she could stop herself. Malfoy gave a barking laugh. "You are a bitch," he said with a faint shake of his head. Hermione's smile vanished. "Some people deserve to die," she said coldly. "And the ones who didn't—you killed anyway." He rolled his eyes as though she had merely critiqued his manners. "I did what I was instructed to do," he said with a shrug. "Do you tell yourself that to ease your conscience?" She sneered at him as she sat up on the bed. "When you strung them up and left them to decay? Did you think you were being noble?" He gave her a thin smile and quirked an eyebrow. "Your Resistance was quite boundless in its hope even after Potter died in front of them. They were the sorts that would never believe reports of death based on Death Eater hearsay. How many more fighters do you suppose would have tried escape if they hadn't seen the bodies rot with their own eyes? Surely you don't believe in encouraging suicidal optimism?" "Someone is still out there," she said. "Someone you haven't caught." He smirked faintly. "Not for long." Hermione felt the blood drain from her face so sharply it felt as though her head had been hollowed out. "Have you—?" Her voice shook. "Not yet. But I can practically guarantee it," he said with cruel smile. "Long before the Dark Lord has faded, your last Order member will be dead and your precious little Resistance will never know they even existed." "You don't know that," Hermione said fiercely.
The hex caught her in the side of the head. She froze in place as a Graham know they're hoping only to stun you? Very. So easy I cou Montague stepped through the French doors of the manor. sleep at this point." "Who knew slipping off to take a piss would make me so lucky?" He Hermione stared at him, watching the way his mouth twist seemed to be marveling as he approached her. "With all the wards Malfoy and the fury in his eyes as he spoke. added to your wing in the manor I was afraid I'd never reach you again. "Who do you hate so much?" she asked. She still couldn't Has he knocked you up yet?" seemed to defy the bounds of magic. He cast a pregnancy detection spell on her and grinned when it came up "Many, many people," he said with an insolent shrug. Then negative. "Most of whom are dead now." "I never thought that getting Astoria host an equinox party would be the He walked away before she could ask him anything else. thing that finally worked," he said with a chuckle. He was studying herAfter nearly a month, Montague started visiting the manor face, his expression was triumphant the way it had been on New Year'sHermione didn't bother spying on him. She had concluded Eve. He unclasped her cloak and pushed it off her shoulders. "f*ck. You probably wasn't a member of the Resistance or the Order. didn't have these last time." any chance of it Voldemort surely would have sent Malfoy Her breasts were still somewhat enlarged from the fertility potion. He When she came back from her walk one day she found a h grabbed her left breast and squeezed it hard as he drew closer, so that House-elves their on the veranda of the North Wing setting out bodies were almost pressed against each other. He buried his nose in her and arranging vast quantities of flowers everywhere. One o hair, breathing in. He smelled sour from wine. Drunk. immediately vanished with a sharp pop and a moment late "You were supposed to have been mine, you know," he said, steppingappeared back and approached Hermione. slightly to look her over again. "I was the one who caught you when you "'Mistress is having an Ostara party this night. The Mudblo attacked at Sussex. When I saw you standing under a sky full of burning of sight," Topsy said. dementors—I wanted to f*ck you right there in that field." His grip onHermione her blinked and glanced around the veranda which breast tightened as he spoke, his fingers digging into the flesh. If like it was being prepared for a wedding banquet than an c Hermione could have moved at all she would have been gasping fromvernal equinox. pain. "That was how I earned my Mark, you know, catching you. My "Alright," Hermione said and went and found a different e exceptional service to the Dark Lord. When I saw you at Sussex, I manor. She watched the preparations from the upstairs win recognized you from the cave. Remember how I told you I'd ask to have concluded that the equinox was merely an excuse for Asto you. I was the one who reminded the Dark Lord about you for the party. There was nothing of the rituals or traditions appare breeding program. He said you'd be mine. But then he changed his mind the abundance of flowers. and gave you to Malfoy." When evening fell the veranda was lovely, aglow with fairy Montague hissed and twisted her breast hard in his hand. "f*cking Malfoy into the enormous bouquets of daffodils and tulips. Astori gets everything. But I owe you so much pain for stabbing me with those shipped from somewhere else, Hermione theorized, the M poisoned knives, I'm not going to let him get in my way. I've been still cold and barely hinting at spring. fantasizing about this for so long. I even bought a pensive, just so I could Hermione watched the guests arrive, Death Eaters, every o watch you kneeling in front of me and unbuttoning my trousers as many They were stiff and formal with each other until the drinks
surrogates. "Lucky bugger," someone muttered. The Daily Prophet was always crammed with speculation but it was hard "Must be fun, staring into her little know-it-all face as you to ever know what might be true. she cry? I always imagined she'd be a crier. I had so many f She followed the winding paths of the hedge maze. Her footsteps wereschool of pinning her down on a desk and reaming into he silent. She hadn't been told not to come outside. sobbed." Trying to eavesdrop on what was clearly becoming a drunken dinner party Hermione's skin crawled and she pulled her cloak around h was a relief. Hermione felt—alive. Rather than feeling like a mechanical "I've never paid attention," Malfoy answered in a bored to dead creature who passed day after day, folding origami, exercising, and Dark Lord commands I will perform, but there's not much waiting for a table to appear in the middle of the room for her to be my interest." clinically f*cked on and then left once more for another cycle. Several voiced grumbled something about Malfoy but the The veranda was just on the other side of the hedge from her. She could moved on. hear the voices clearly. Hermione's ears perked up. They were discussing the death "She's got barely any fingers on her," came a voice. "Can't show off Complaining about patrols in the Forbidden Forest and wh something like that. Creeps the f*ck out of me. At first, I could barelycentaurs get were. It seemed none of them knew anything abo it up to take her, but now that she's up in the duff she's got the most horcruxes. It was disappointing if not surprising. incredible pair on knockers on her. Definitely makes up for the lack ofShe kept listening. fingers." Malfoy was getting sent to Romania. That was news. There Hermione froze. They were talking about the other girls. Possibly Parvati executions scheduled there and Voldemort wanted them d or Angelina. They'd both lost most their fingers. ceremony. A demonstration of strength in case any of the Some of the girls were pregnant. countries interpreted the attempted assassination of Thickn "At least yours has both her eyes," came another voice. "Mine's a bloody weakness. The High Reeve would do them himself. horror to look at. I take her from behind or drop something over her face Hermione wondered if that was the reason Voldemort had so I don't have to stare into that f*cking hole in her head. Got a patchtorturing that Malfoy. He would need to be in peak condition t covers it now, but still..." talent for murder in Romania. Hannah Abbott. There was mumbled jealousy about Malfoy's assignment. H "They're not meant for looking at," Astoria's sharp voice interjected. curled. What kind of loathsome creatures got jealous that s There was drunken, braying laughter at that. to go kill people? "You should see how I've got mine trained," another voice chimed in."Are "All you going to Avada them all?" someone was asking in I have to do is snap my fingers and she bends over. Her quim's so loose tone. I prefer taking her in the arse unless it's one of the mandatory days. Must "That would be the tradition," Malfoy said, drawling so ov have been a slu*t back in Hogwarts, but she knows how to suck a co*ck.could I practically see the eye-roll that was surely accompany have her under the table every morning while I eat breakfast." She wasn't sure what was more unnerving, Malfoy's casual Hermione felt as though someone had stabbed her. The horror she feltDeath Eaters' enthusiasm. was physically painful. The conversation wore on, offering nothing useful. Then t
wand twice on one of the manacles on Hermione's wrists. There was an limitation. immediate flush of heat. Somehow being given to Malfoy made her—lucky? A minute later, there was a sharp rap on the door and Malfoy walked in, He seemed clinical about utilizing her. looking as cold as Hermione had ever seen him. She could just barely make Perhaps it was simply because Voldemort didn't want out his face as he walked toward Healer Stroud. She closed her left eye in until her memories were recovered. Perhaps he wasn't allo order to try to see more clearly. or rape her the way he'd like to. "You called," he said. But—that didn't seem right. He didn't seem interested "She's still not pregnant," Healer Stroud announced. was restraining himself. He always seemed eager to be done Malfoy looked neither surprised nor disappointed by the announcement. away from her. She was a chore to him. "How unfortunate," he said coolly. "Indeed. It's beginning to become anomalous. There is nothing I can findWas it possible that the High Reeve was the least inhum in Voldemort's government? to account for it." Healer Stroud's eyes were narrowed as she stared at Malfoy. That didn't seem accurate either. Not after what she'd Hermione's curiosity was suddenly piqued. Did Healer Stroud suspectMontague. Watching him coolly stand there as he unspo Malfoy was trying to avoid impregnating Hermione? Was he? Why would organs with his bare hands was—terrifying. he? He should have been desperate to get her pregnant. If not for an heir,The matter-of-factness. at least in the hopes that the compatible magic would finally corrode and The ease. break through the magic protecting Hermione's memories. Malfoy had plenty of cruelty in him. Simmering just ben "The Dark Lord may have reason for concern if she continues to be waiting to be let out. unfruitful. As you know, his desire for it is dual in nature." "Indeed. I am aware." Malfoy said, a dangerous edge entering his voice. Perhaps rape wasn't his thing. "Then you should have no objections if I make some recommendations asA strange thought, but the most plausible one she co hated touching her; avoided it at much as was possible. to how to increase your odds of success." Malfoy inclined his head. "Anything in the service of the Dark Lord." Apparently Malfoy was not a complete monster. Not that it matter. None of it mattered. None of it ever "No more tables then," said Stroud in a pointed tone. There was a flicker of something, possibly irritation in Malfoy's eyes. It was the same as her realization that Voldemort was "Fine. that it was worse for the other girls didn't make any diffe "And have her in a reclined position," Stroud said, raising her chin, "with nothing Hermione could do. less detachment." Even if by some miracle she found a way to escape, w A sneer curled onto Malfoy's lips, but before he said anything Stroud sheer impossibility, she couldn't stop to save anyone else. added, "Magical pregnancy is more complex than merely the biologicalShe had to run and run. The best she could do would b process of fertilization. It can require a connection. Otherwise, we could whomever it was that remained of the Order and see if th be utilizing muggle methods for this repopulation effort with far greater save everyone else. But if there were any way to do such a convenience for everyone."
reproductive system. She needed to escape. Hermione couldn't make out all the readings clearly but sh She was running out of time. It seemed an utter miracle that she wasn't pregnant. She had beenenough sure to know that there was nothing unusual in it. She g Healer Stroud's face. that after the fertility potion she'd be pregnant. It was blurred but Hermione could still make out the famil Once she was pregnant— irritation around the woman's mouth as she manipulated th Hermione felt as though she couldn't breathe. Her chest and throat felt with her wand. compressed, and she started shaking as she tried not to cry. "You're still not pregnant," Stroud said flatly. Her odds of escaping already felt infinitesimally small. Once sheThe waswords were both an accusation and a condemnation. pregnant they would be practically non-existent and would only Hermione grow didn't flinch or even blink. Healer Stroud contin smaller with every progressing day. one of the only ones still not pregnant. And in the case of She couldn't even walk across a field or along an open road as it was. An the—sires have issues of their own." because There was a pause. Healer Stroud seemed to be awaiting a escape with the additional and evolving challenges that a pregnancy would "Perhaps the High Reeve has issues too," Hermione finally present would be impossible. Once she gave birth, Malfoy would tear the child out from her "He armsdoes not. I examined him myself, several times now. H virile (assuming he even let her hold it), then he'd take Hermione to Voldemort and fertile. Exceptional even." fought against letting her mouth twitch with am and kill her and she'd been eaten by Voldemort's vile pythons and herHermione baby thought of Malfoy being examined by Stroud. He must lov would be left alone in Malfoy's horrible house to be raised by him and his thought to herself. horrible wife... Outwardly Hermione was silent. Healer Stroud sighed shar Hermione's chest heaved and before she could stop herself she began "How does he take you? Do you stay reclined after as instr sobbing so violently she choked. washing afterwards?" Even if she did escape Malfoy would never stop looking for her. The questions were suspicious. There was no way to escape. Every idea she could think of, noneHermione of it felt her cheeks flush as she was compelled to an panned out. She was like an insect, pinned to board. questions. The manor was a flawless cage. "There's a clock there on the wall. I always wait for the allo Unless by some miracle she could convince Malfoy to let her go... moving. I follow all the washing instructions. The portrait Healer Stroud's eyes were narrowed. And there was simply no way. "And how does he take you?" She wasn't even sure if he could let her go, even if he wanted to. There Hermione stared intently at the blurry clock until her head was something about the way he occasionally eyed the manacles that made "On a table." Hermione doubt that he could remove them. "What?" Healer Stroud said sharply. He could only kill her. And he was already planning to do that. "He—he conjures a table, in the middle of the room. And She rolled onto her back and stared up at the canopy in despair. over it."
Chicken broths and the like. To help the body heal. She probably knows." in the other. "Very well," Malfoy said, straightening and indicating toward the door of Hermione stood quickly, and Astoria stopped. They sta Hermione's room which the house-elves had repaired. for a minute. The healer looked down at Hermione again. Astoria hadn't approached Hermione since the nig "Quite exceptional," he said again in a wondering voice. "Pity. Such a Hermione to Malfoy's room. Hermione's fingers twitched n waste of talent." had to be there because of Montague. "Hmm," Malfoy said noncommittally. "Come here, Mudblood," Astoria commanded in a shar "And you, sir. Quite remarkable you could perform the spells so well. Very Hermione crossed the room reluctantly until she stood impressive collaboration. You could be a healer yourself." from Astoria. Her heart was pounding and she had a stro "So I keep being told," Malfoy said with an insincere smile. "Do you think St Mungo's will still hire me after I murdered someone in their waitingconversation they were about to have was going to end ba Astoria was pale. Brittle. She was impeccably dressed a room?" The healer blanched. "Well—What I mean is—" there was a sense of unraveling about her. The earrings "If there's nothing else, I'll see you out," Malfoy cut him off and strodewere trembling faintly and her eyes were narrowed into slit from the room. Hermione. Hermione spent most of the next several days in bed. A House-elf arrived"I know you snoop. Have you seen this story?" Astori every two hours with a vial of Essence of Dittany, watched her as she newspaper up so that Hermione could see the picture on t applied a drop to her eye, and then popped away again. Hermione had been too depressed to even look at th After four days, her vision within an arm's length was mostly recovered since the equinox. Her gaze dropped down to study the ph but, beyond that radius, things became blurry and it hurt to try to focus. widened. Malfoy did not appear again but Hermione thought she heard his footsteps On the cover of the Daily Prophet was a picture o in the hallway. disemboweling Graham Montague in the middle of the St Then Healer Stroud came. room. "You've had a rather unfortunate month, I hear," Stroud said, conjuring a Hermione only could stare for a moment before Asto medical table and waiting for Hermione to approach Hermione said nothing as she went over and seated herself on the edge hand of and folded the newspaper in half. it. Stroud pulled a vial of veritaserum out and Hermione opened her "I have to admit," Astoria said in a voice of unnatura mouth and accepted the drop on her tongue. "When I first heard the news that Draco had publicly k Stroud cast a general diagnostic on Hermione and they both studied it.thought 'he's finally noticed.'" Hermione's eye was doing better. Her sodium levels were normal. Her Astoria's lips twitched and she stared away from Hermi cortisol levels were extremely high. "I tried to be the perfect wife when I was chosen," Ast They were always high, but there was a marked spike in them. Malfoy's wife. There was really nothing to compare it to. Th Stroud sighed and wrote something in Hermione's file before casting a general in the Dark Lord's army. All the other girls wer pregnancy detection charm.
he asked in an astonished voice. manor. On our wedding day he brought me here and left me in the foyer; France, Albania, and Denmark," Hermione said, didn't bother to consummate it until I was supposed to be fertile."Austria, And subdued. "I moved around. My specialty was healing the d then—once the healers determined I was barren—Draco didn't come here casualty injuries." at all. He just—disappeared. I never knew where he was. I couldn't contact "Really?" The dismissive quality in the healer's behavior to him. I thought maybe I could get his attention if I made him jealous but he faded and he studied her thoughtfully. "I applied to study i never cared what I did. Eventually—I accepted that was how he was." in '64. Couldn't get in, my wand work wasn't precise enoug The bitterness of Astoria's expression twisted her face into something hospital. Their Old Magicks Department was Europe's fin both ugly and terrifying. "It was," Hermione said, her voice wistful. "But then you came along." Astoria's voice shook with resentment. "And "Pity how the terrorists destroyed it during the war," the h then he moved in and he turned the entire estate upside down in order to he eyed Hermione's clothing and wrists and his lip again," ward it and make sure it was safe. Took you for walks and gave you asuppose tour you were one of them." "Not one who ever attacked a hospital," Hermione said. of the house." had been a favored tactic of Voldemort's; attack places t Hermione started to open her mouth to point out that Malfoy hadItbeen been neutral and frame the Resistance terrorists for it. It h ordered to do all those things. the public with Voldemort, and driven the Resistance furth "Shut up! I don't want to hear from you," Astoria said sharply, baring her Hermione remembered when they'd gotten word the Alba teeth. had been blown up. There'd been almost no survivors; all The newspaper was crumpling in Astoria's clenched fist and smoldering had mentored Hermione had died in the rubble. faintly. The Resistance in Albania had disappeared soon after. "And then Graham started paying attention to me," Astoria said,The herspecialist continued to study the diagnostic reading ov voice trembled as though she were holding back tears. "He was so more minutes before he made it vanish with a flick several sympathetic and kept me company at all the events that Draco never showed cast a few charms that Hermione felt sink in and it grew st for. He wanted to see everything I had done and he noticed all the things I'd toward the front of her brain. Then the healer leane feeling done to impress Draco. He wanted me to show him all around the manor added a drop of Essence of Dittany to her eye. to see how I'd decorated it. He had the idea of a New Year's Party here "I think at you may actually make a full recovery. Keep the lig apply Essence of Dittany every two hours during the day a the Manor. And dinner parties. And even an equinox party on the veranda just before you go to sleep for the next two weeks. Do tha of the North Wing. He was very specific about it being the North Wing..." there may end up being little to no long term impairment i Astoria's voice trailed off and she stared out the window for several Hermione watched one-eyed as he stood and turned towar seconds. straightening his robes pompously. "When I heard Draco had killed Graham I thought 'Draco has finally "I must say, that's an exceptional little healer you've got th noticed, he was just busy before.' But then," Astoria twitched, "it crossed told me what happened I was expecting she'd end up most my mind—Graham first approached me the week after the Daily Prophet eye. Sanentur spells are quite obscure and injury-specific. I
"A drop every two hours for the next several days is ideal. But, one dose of Astoria fell silent for several seconds. Hermione cr three drops will do," she finally said. speak; unable to clarify. She didn't know that it would mak "Will do what?" he said. even if she could. "I'll probably be able to make out outlines and detect color within a few "It was because of you," Astoria said at last. "Graham ca feet," she said. of you. Draco killed him because of you. Graham was just u Malfoy leaned forward and used his right hand to lightly hold her left eye using me to get to you!" open while he dripped one drop of the Essence into her eye. It stung. Hermione immediately closed her eyes to refrain from blinking it away. Astoria flung the newspaper on the floor. The pages sp wood floor, showing Malfoy coldly murdering Graham The hand on her face vanished. continuous, black, and white loop. "I'll be back in two hours. And I'll ensure Astoria stays away." She heard his receding footsteps and raised her hand up to hold her left Draco Malfoy Publicly Kills Fellow Death Eater! " Why do they care about you?" Astoria demanded, eye closed so she could watch him go. He stumbled slightly when he was near the door, as though he were Hermione, and digging her wand sharply into Hermione' unsteady on his feet. so special about you that Draco would move here, into th Hermione closed her eyes again and lay still, willing herself not to cry. clearly hates? That Graham would spend months using m Don't cry. Don't cry, she told herself. It would waste the Dittany. Why does anyone care about a Mudblood? Why does every Malfoy reappeared two hours later with a specialist; an elderly man dressed so important?" in lime green robes. The healer's expression was drawn but he seemed The glint in Astoria's eyes as she glared at Hermione w determined to hide his discomfort. He barely glanced at Hermione. Hermione started to open her mouth and Astoria slap "Sclera punctures are quite a nasty business," the healer said in a wheezing across the face. voice as he conjured a chair beside the bed and looked back towards Malfoy. "Not always much that can be done. Basic healing charms aren't "I don't want to hear your explanations!" Astoria snarle I told you not to cause problems for me." much for preserving sight. We'll have to see what there is to work with. Astoria abruptly jabbed her wand up into Hermione's She was the one who told you which spells to use?" eyes. Hermione's chest constricted and she jerked her face Malfoy gave a short nod and leaned against the wall. The healer turned toward Hermione and cast an unfamiliar ocular "You know," Astoria said in a trembling, lilting tone, gra diagnostic charm. by the chin. "Marcus says he can barely stand to look Hermione stared at ribbons on color floating over her head and but didn't because the hole in her head makes her a horror. Maybe Dr know how to read them. The healer was silent for several minutes as he less time obsessing over you if you had two." manipulated the diagnostic. Hermione stumbled back. "This—is quite exceptional repair work," the healer said in a tone of "Stay still," Astoria commanded. surprise after giving the ribbon a final prod with the tip of his wand and Hermione froze and Astoria drew close again. sending little sparks of light into it. The ribbons flickered and twisted in Malfoy would come. Malfoy would come. Malfoy would come. response.
A smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth. left eye; digging the tip back into the socket. She sneered into Hermione's "I the was a General for years, I picked things up along the wa face. "I hope I'm there when Draco sees you next. Even if he kills me, obvious skill to develop." satisfaction will be well worth it." "Not to everyone." Hermione had tried on many occasion Hermione tried to tear her face away and Astoria withdrew her wand members of the Order more than basic emergency healing momentarily to immobilize Hermione with a quick hex, freezing Hermione of them had been reluctant to learn much beyond episkey. in place before stabbing her wand roughly into the side of Hermione's eye "Yes. Well, I was on the winning side, we obviously made again. choices," he said in a cold voice as he withdrew his hands. The pain in Hermione's eye was increasing, she could feel that her eyeball "It was an unusual diagnostic spell you knew," Hermione s was on the verge of being pulled from her socket. Her whole bodycomment. was shaking and she couldn't move. "It was a long war." He was still kneeling in front of her. The sound of her panicked breathing cut through the surreal realization Hermione looked down at her lap for a minute, then looke him. There was a headache beginning to develop in her tem that Astoria Malfoy's face might be the last thing she ever saw. She heard imbalanced vision. her own strangled scream as she felt something in her eye give and her vision "You—have a natural talent for healing. In another life, yo become one sided. been Suddenly there was a cracking sound in the distance so abrupt that the a healer," she said. "One of life's great ironies," he said glancing away from he Manor trembled. Astoria jerked with surprise but didn't stop. the corner of his mouth twitched faintly, but perhaps it wa "Expelliarmus!" Malfoy snarled as he appeared from thin air. her vision. The wand digging into Hermione's eye vanished and Astoria was flung "I suppose it is." Hermione looked down at her hands agai across the room and struck the wall with a sickening crunch before falling were stained with blood. So were his. to the floor. There was a crack, Topsy appeared with a small vial of Ess Hermione remained frozen in place with open eyes, sobbing hysterically which she handed to Malfoy. and immobilized where Astoria had left her. "Get the door repaired," Malfoy ordered the elf, barely gla Malfoy swept in front of Hermione, countering the immobilizationturned hex. back to Hermione. Hermione dropped to the floor. Malfoy knelt down in front of her and Hermione tilted started pushing herself unsteadily to her feet. should—I should lay down, so it doesn't run," she said. her face up toward his. His face was pale, frozen and his expression "I grew off and her hands and arms shook and wouldn't bear her w horrified when he saw her face. He cast a diagnostic spell on her. After a minute he swallowed andback tookonto the floor and bit her lip in frustration; maybe sh the ground. several deep breaths as though he were trying to steady himself. A hand "You eye is half pulled out of the socket and you have a deep puncture closed around her elbow and drew her to her feet. "I'm not leaning over you on the floor," Malfoy said in a c in the white," he said at last. "What are the spells to fix it?" pulled her across the room and then backed her into her b Hermione stared at him dazedly. Crying. Her face was twisted as she here."
Astoria paled and Malfoy continued speaking in his cold, deadly voice,her "I eye. have tried to be patient with you, Astoria. I've been willing to overlook She couldn't see... your indecent behavior and petty interferences, but do recall that aside Malfoy inhaled sharply and his expression hardened as from being somewhat decorative, you are useless to me. If you ever gomore intently. near her again, or speak to her, or use your status as the lady of this manor "I need you to calm down so you can tell me how to fix to break through any of my wards, I will kill you. And I will do it slowly; The command was heavy in his tone. perhaps over the course of an evening or two. That isn't a threat. It is a Hermione choked down a sob and tried to breathe. She promise. Get. Out. Of. My. Sight." her eyes but she couldn't, because Astoria had tried to pull Astoria gave a terrified sob and fled the room. Malfoy stood breathing deeply for several seconds before he turned back She gasped raggedly several times trying to compose h made herself look down at the diagnostic reading still vis to Hermione. He approached her slowly, then knelt and tilted her face up to look at wand. her eyes again. She was a healer. Someone had an injured eye. She "The pupils are different sizes," he said after a moment. "After I've applied efficiently if she wanted to try to preserve their sight. the Essence of Dittany, I'll send for a specialist to come and see if there's "For a punctured sclera," she said in a wobbling voice, anything else to be done." back trying to recall as she analyzed the reading. Malfoy Hermione stared at him. detailed diagnostic on her and she could see that the dama "You don't need my eyes to perform legilimency," she said in a wooden "Sclera Sanentur. You have to say it rhythmically, almost sing voice. "It's just easier that way. It won't matter if I'm blind in one eye." the tip of your wand over the puncture." She felt the fingers on her face flinch faintly and his jaw clenched. Malfoy repeated the inflection and rhythm and she gave "I consider it a matter of convenience," he said after a beat. proceeded to perform it on her eye. She whimpered qui His thumb ghosted lightly across her cheekbone as he continued to study puncture begin to repair itself. her. She stared back at him. He looked haggard but maybe it only seemed that"And then—for a—a luxated left eye," she said in a voic than she felt. "It's oculus sinister retreho. And the wand move way because of how her vision blurred. "How did you apparate from Romania?" she asked. She cautiously, half-blindly reached toward Malfoy's lef He gave a tired smirk. "The ability came compliments of the Dark Lord. he didn't jerk away from her, she closed her finger Although—I don't believe he had any idea at the time. It was intendeddemonstrated as a the delicate spiraling motion. punishment." "Don't do it too quickly or you'll over retract," she add Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. She had no idea what kind of Malfoy nodded. punishment could possibly have the side-effect of enabling crossHermione felt her eye slide back into place in her hea continental apparition. Some kind of horribly obscure Dark magic. was slightly brighter but it still was like staring through "What kind of curse—?" window. "It wasn't a curse, it was a ritual, and not one I feel like discussing," he
and she choked as she started crying again. Her hand slid away from her right eye and she clamped it over her mouth as she fought not to sob. "What else do I need to do? How do I fix it?" he asked. "Dittany," she said. "Essence of Dittany, might be able to repair the rest of the damage. But it's rare. It might be hard to obtain—in time." "Topsy!" The elf instantly appeared. "Bring me Essence of Dittany." The house-elf vanished again. Malfoy's hands remained on her face until her sobs eased again and then he slowly drew them away. raco, how are you here?" Astoria gasped as soon "Wait here. I need to deal with Astoria now," Malfoy said. Hermione nodded and wiped her face, finding that she was crying blood. consciousness. She reached over and touched her She watched as Malfoy strode over, levitated his wife up off the floor and she shrank back in the chair. "I had to apparate across Europe because of you," he said dropped her into the chair before performing a diagnostic charm on her. The rage in his voice was palpable. The imbalance in Hermione's vision made it hard to see when she tried to Hermione stared. Cross-continental apparition was—almo see the reading across the room. She thought Astoria had several cracked required either jumping so many times that a person exhau ribs and a concussion. and had to stop, or such a tremendous amount of concent Malfoy healed the fractures with practiced ease and then stared down at practically impossible to survive. Most people who jumped Astoria for several minutes before finally rennervating her. few countries splinched themselves to death. If Malfoy had apparated so far, he should be nearly dead from magical ex In that case, it was no wonder the manor had shaken. The concentration to successfully perform such a jump would e shockwave from a sonic boom. There was probably a room that had been reduced to splinters. "That—that's completely impossible," Astoria stuttered. "Underestimating your husband, Tori?" he said in a coolly "Not very wifely of you." "Oh, are you here because of me?" Astoria's voice was vici aren't. You're here because of that Mudblood. You hexed me into a wall. You murdered Graham Montague all because Mudblood."
CHAPTER TWENTY
D
studying her as he crossed the room, draped the clothing over the edgeShe of gave Malfoy a long look which he returned without bl the bed and stared down at her. Hermione was certain, Stroud did suspect Malfoy of doing "Do you want another Calming Draught?" he said. interfere. It was possible a Calming Draught could help. Hermione calculated, it"Fine." might ease the physical reaction her body was burning with. She gave a"Excellent," Stroud said, her mouth widening into a thin sm sharp nod and sat up. the Dark Lord is quite eager for access to be gained to tho As she took the vial from his hand, their fingers brushed and she bit her the conception efforts continue to fail, we may find oursel tongue to keep from gasping. consider other 'sires.'" She unstoppered it and gulped it down while Malfoy knocked back his"I was under the impression that using magical pregnancy own potion. memories necessitated that the father be the legilimens or The Draught of Peace had a worsening effect. Rather than ease the miscarriage," Malfoy said in a lightly cutting tone. symptoms it made her body relax further into them. She dropped the vial "That's true. The magi-genetic familiarity is important. Ho onto the bed as she tried to hand it back. wouldn't necessarily need to be a paternal familiarity. HalfShe covered her mouth with her hands and burst into tears. Malfoy stared example, could be another option. I have heard rumors tha at her for a moment. may be recalled to Britain." "What's wrong?" he demanded. Hermione felt herself wobble and her throat contracted as "Healer Stroud sent a set of potions that she said would make things were going to be sick. Malfoy's expression didn't flicker bu easier," she said, smearing away the tears and staring determinedly down visibly, at even in Hermione's blurred vision. the covers on the bed. "I forgot about it yesterday, but I took it tonight, Healer Stroud continued and there was a taunting quality t just before you arrived. I thought it would be for anxiety. That's what haven't it mentioned the option to the Dark Lord. Yet. But I seemed like when I tested a drop. It's not like I can do spell analysis. So eager I he is for progress. It would a disappointment for me took it, but—" she choked slightly. "It was an aphrodisiac." recommend it. As a scientist, I must admit I'm particularly There was a stunned silence. the progeny from two such uniquely powerful individuals. "You are an idiot," Malfoy finally said. "Do you just swallow anything loyalty is to the Dark Lord, so if this particular pairing is st without asking questions?" after six months I feel I'll have no option but to offer an a Hermione flinched. solution." "Last time I asked you to identify a potion sent to me, you forced it down "Of course," Malfoy said, his tone calm but with an edge t my throat out of sheer spite. Was I supposed to assume it would be Hermione recognized as cold fury. "Was there anything els different with you this time?" "Nothing else, High Reeve. Thank you for your time," Hea Malfoy was silent. The rage emanating from him was palpable. Like heat Malfoy turned on his heel and vanished through the doorw waves around a flame, the air almost seemed to distort around the edges of his body as he stood there, glaring down at her. "You are an idiot," he said again. Hermione wanted to curl in on herself like a ball.
inside her. Topsy appeared before dinner. "You is to get ready now," the House-elf squeaked. It was hours earlier than Malfoy had ever come before. He idea what that could possibly be the reason for the change added unpredictability only made it worse. She went cold w She went in the bathroom and bathed. As she toweled off hands, she remembered the potions Healer Stroud had sen nervous the night before, she'd forgotten them. After dressing, she went and pulled one of the vials out of cabinet. It wasn't a Draught of Peace; the color and consis unfamiliar. She sniffed it. The scent was tangy in her nostr ermione remained seated on the exam table in a state of horror. and peppery. She put a drop on her fingertip and tasted it. The grating, scratching sound of Healer Stroud's quill in and mildly sweet on the tongue. Hermione's file continued along with the endless, monotonous She waited a minute. She felt less cold with anxiety. ticking of the clock. She swallowed it, and it was hot sliding down her throat. A Hermione's mouth felt parched and she struggled to swallow; there was a stomach, the heat seemed to bloom outward through her w sour taste in her mouth. She tried to breathe evenly but found that herHer skin tingled and grew almost achingly sensitive. Herm throat had closed, and she could do nothing but sit rigidly and try not gasped to with horror, and lurched forwards, staring wide-eye pass out at the thought of getting handed over to Lucius Malfoy. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were dilating as she Lucius Malfoy who was insane; far more insane than Bellatrix Lestrange reflection. She pressed her hands over her mouth and stum had been. Who always broke the rules and crossed lines and somehowStroud had given her a lust potion. managed to use his silver tongue to save his skin. Who could have killed Hermione wanted to burst into tears as she tried to steady Arthur Weasley, but instead chose to curse him in such a way as to steal away the effects of the potion currently burning through h the Weasley patriarch's mind and leave his body intact for his family toThis couldn't be happening. care and mourn over; a helpless, childish shadow of a wonderful, generous It was just boundlessly cruel. father. Who cursed George with a horrific variation of the necrosis curse Hermione's hands were shaking as she tried to think of som that it had forced Hermione to cut off his leg at the hip while he was still Some way to neutralize it. She snatched up the cup from b conscious in order to save him. Who killed Ron before Hermione's eyes, and gulped glass after glass of water in the hope of flushin laughing the entire time. system. It didn't work. The heat through her body seemed Hermione thought she might faint or just snap and start screaming. Her lower, beginning to radiate from her lower abdomen. head was pounding and the room was swimming slightly. She walked into her room. She couldn't understand why St She started shaking. this. "What's wrong?" Healer Stroud asked. Punishing Malfoy for whatever interference he had made i
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
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Sometimes she wasn't even sure she knew who she had been during thepotion this month. I'll have some potions sent that should war. She remembered herself as a healer. Just a healer and a potion things and possibly improve your odds of success." mistress. Hermione fell silent and didn't speak again. She felt so ill w At some point she had diverged from that person, and she didn't knowwondered if she might be poisoning herself. how or when it had happened. Malfoy arrived late in the evening and she stared at him lis When had she become someone that Voldemort would describe as expression was hard; set jaw and cold, flinty eyes, but also dangerous? A person who leveled half a prison. Who burned dementors, probably back to hunting down the last member of the Or and stabbed Graham Montague with poisoned knives? he was worried that his father was going to kill her premat Hermione had no idea where that version of herself could have come She studied him, trying to divine from his expression why from. She found it difficult to believe the person had ever existed. would have done anything to intentionally not get her preg Somehow that mysterious person had been swallowed up in the darkness couldn't think of an explanation for it. She kept turning it o beneath Hogwarts. Without the second-hand accounts of Voldemort, but couldn't come up with anything that seemed plausible. Malfoy, and Montague, she would never have even known such a person She reviewed the possibilities. had existed. She almost would think it was some sort of deception if she It could be because he found the idea of her being the biol didn't have so many scars she couldn't account for. his heir so objectionable, but Hermione doubted that was She glanced down at her left wrist, ran her finger tips over the scattered, one thing, aside from using Mudblood as though it were h silvery scars that mottled her sternum and collarbones, and then tracedhe didn't seem to care much about blood purity. He didn't over the long, thin scar between her seventh and eighth ribs. Voldemort's victory like it was a testament to pureblood su Healer Stroud had said the fugues in her mind weren't a dissociation ordid he treat Hermione's imprisonment as being due to her multiple personalities, but Hermione rather felt that they must be. Whenever he spoke of the war, he referred to the sides as Hermione as she knew herself to be would never have leveled half a prison primarily by idealism vs realism. and killed countless other people in order to break-in. Not even for Ginny. In Hermione's experience, bigots were obsessive with their Hermione wouldn't have treated everyone else as collateral damage in Malfoy a at Hogwarts had been a little parrot of his father's rescue attempt. She didn't know how fill a sky with burning dementors. Draco Malfoy of the present—Hermione wasn't sure what She had never carried poisoned knives, much less learned how to stabobsessed with. anyone with them. Hermione, if Astoria were to be believed. There was something cavernous in her ignorance, and she didn't knowHermione didn't know what to believe. how to reconcile it. He always had such a smooth answer and a compelling exc She pulled on her robes, went downstairs, and wavered at the verandabehavior. door. The air was warm and smelled loamy, with faint traces of sweetness. Why wouldn't he want her pregnant? She couldn't imagine There were huge beds of daffodils and irises that had seemingly sprungstrategically. up in previous two weeks. The birds were singing. She hadn't wanted to be pregnant, but now knowing what It was as though the outside world had transformed itself while Hermione Stroud and Voldemort might go to in order to ensure it... had been lying in her darkened room. Nature had dropped its shroud, She and still felt utterly nauseated at the thought of having Mal
Malfoy cast a diagnostic charm on her eyes and studied it. search of useful spell work for Harry. Until she'd fall asleep "How much can you see now?" he asked. Slowly, she had drifted away from her friends. Hermione laughed abruptly. They were all so righteously angry and yet optimistic follow She had no idea when she'd last laughed. Years before, most likely. ButDumbledore's the death. There was a fire of certainty driving t question was funny. Hilarious even. Hermione couldn't seem to spark within herself even at th Everything in her life was a complete and utter horror, and somehow The more she learned, the more her confidence regarding Malfoy's first concern was her eyesight. He kept her prisoner in his house, the war seemed to wane. No one else seemed to appreciate raped her on command, and he was concerned about her vision. was to keep people alive. She couldn't stop laughing. It kept going on and on and growing When she failed to share the optimism it offended them. S increasingly hysterical sounding and then she wasn't laughing she was friend, why wouldn't she believe in him? Why was she so d actually crying. She was crying and crying and crying, while she rockedmake on everyone feel scared? Did she think she was smarter the edge of her bed, and Malfoy just stood there the whole time; staring couldn't at even cast a Patronus anymore. Maybe if she spent her, expressionless. practicing her defense spells she'd stop being so morbid. It took her twenty minutes before she finally stopped sobbing. Then she It wasn't that they weren't taking the war seriously, but tha just sat there, hiccoughing and holding her hands over her eyes as she perspective tried was narrowed. It was Light vs Darkness, Good breathe. She felt as though she were hollow inside; as though she had always won. Look at the stories look at the history books. sobbed out everything inside of her and all that was left was a shell. people would die, but it would be for the cause; a worthy d Finally she was quiet but for an occasional hitching of her breath as she weren't afraid to die for that. stared at the floor and wished she'd just die. Eventually Hermione had stopped talking and withdrew w "Feel better?" There was no point in noting that history books were writt The corner of her mouth twitched and she shrugged tiredly. victors. Or that there were plenty of wars in the muggle w "As close to better as I ever will," she said. She stared at his hands andwere just another form of ammunition; where battles failed noticed his fingers twitch subtly. She glanced up at him. anything, or produce more than a new list of casualties; a f "What were you tortured for this time?" she asked. graves. He smirked as he slid his wand up into his right sleeve. "Clearly you Maybe they all needed to believe such things, but Hermion haven't been following the news lately. The public, through their vast needed to prepare. She buried herself in healing, in potions collective intelligence, has somehow concluded that I am the High Reeve, the Ministry of Magic fell and the War officially began even without the confirmation of the Daily Prophet." Then she'd been rushed off to begin studying in France. T The news piqued her curiosity. "Because of Montague?" when France became too dangerous. Then Denmark. Then He shrugged. "It may have been related, but I suspect it had more to do Had there been somewhere else, before she went to Austri with my appearance in Romania coinciding with the High Reeve's visit.there was a gap. A blur. Hermione pushed at the blank spa The press in some of the other European countries is considerably lessmemory. Somewhere, somewhere else she'd gone to study controlled than Britain's. Once one paper starts saying it, it doesn't take have been? Why would she forget it? She forced her mind long to spread. I am now publicly acknowledged as the Dark Lord's and it was just dimness. A low golden light emanating from
Hermione ran her fingers over it thoughtfully. It had been so deep, it thin smile. probably should have required a more specific healing charm. The area"Don't felt worry yourself on my account, my conscientious lit taut. days ago. I live on." It had been deep enough that the damaged tissue was not just dermal. There was a pause. Typical healing charms were designed for skin and muscle repair. There "Why did you kill Montague?" she asked. She had been lyin was probably a specific spell for repairing mammary tissue, but Hermione days, and wondering about it. If he was going to kill Monta couldn't remember it off the top of her head. She closed her eyes, andhave trieddone it immediately? Why publicly? to think back and see if she could remember learning it. Malfoy smirked. "I was wondering when you'd finally ask t She could remember a large book of healing spells. She'd carried it with would have thought it was obvious. He blatantly and inten her constantly for several years. Shrunk to fit in her pockets, always oninterfered and endangered my assignment, despite being re hand. Stained with blood and potions that spilled and sank into the pages that you were not to be tampered with in any way. I would when she was too busy to charm them away in time. Dog-eared to themore formally, but with my trip I was unfortunately short most important sections. So many dog-eared pages. Crammed with her"So you killed him in the middle of St Mungos?" she said, notes in the margins. doubtfully. It had been the first thing she bought after Dumbledore died. She "Well, I was going to kill him in his hospital room, but he remembered the large owl that flew into the Great Hall of Hogwarts and improvised." Malfoy's expression was indifferent. "Now, if dropped it for her. done barraging me with questions I believe we have a legil Everyone else had been talking about restarting DA. Buying books onscheduled." defense magic. But Hermione had turned to healing. It had been the start He didn't go through her eyes. Hermione wasn't sure if the of the schism, the space that slowly grew between herself and everyonehealing literature about using legilimency following an eye else her age within the Resistance. Malfoy apparently had decided not to risk it and just drove While they had been drilling shield charms and stunners, she had goneskull. to Madam Pomfrey and asked for an apprenticeship. It hurt a bit more than it usually did, but once he had force She spent most of her days with Madam Pomfrey, memorizing every through, the pain eased somewhat. Hermione wished there healing spell and advanced diagnostic charms the school matron couldof dissociating while he sifted through her mind, but legilim teach. Learning which signs and symptoms to look out for. the victim through the mind alongside the legilimens. Whe Healing spell work was highly precise—subtle. It required the ability towent inside her mind, so did Hermione. filter out distractions and focus, to channel magic with extremely delicate She had no newly unlocked memories, only fresher repetit nuance. Determine the proper spell, perfect the inflection, and then funnel ones; especially Ginny crying. It felt like she dreamt of it ev down one's intentions with precision. Always the same memory. It always stopped at the same p Healers didn't use physical scalpels, but magically speaking the mental He seemed to almost hesitate before delving with her rece exactitude and wand work was comparable. Montague. Of Astoria. Of Stroud's questions before and a Hermione had memorized diagram after diagram of human anatomy. By the time he jerked his consciousness out of Hermione's Drilling herself on all the details she needed to train her eyes to pick up asinthough she had collapsed inward upon herself. Reliving
inescapably around her. She couldn't shake it. She barely bothered to try. The day after Stroud's visit she left her room for the first time since the equinox. She kept to the North Wing, wandering aimlessly. Silent. Drifting from room to room. Window to window. As her eye continued to recover, she could see clearly enough to discover that spring had finally begun to creep over the estate. The cold, grey English countryside was beginning to show the faintest glimmers of fresh green, peeking from the tips of tree branches, and sliding cautiously out from the dark soil. Watching spring unfold itself slowly almost felt like hope. Except—the place inside Hermione where hope had once lived now felt he next morning, Hermione dragged herself from b like a hole. As though someone had reached in and cut away something from the core of her being. Where hope had once bloomed there was now bathroom down the hall with a shower. The hot wa down and radiating around her was the closest thin nothing but something painful and rotting. comfort that she had access to. But still—spring was beautiful to see. She closed her eyes and stayed there, eventually sinking do It felt surprising to find that there were still beautiful, untainted things in floor, and hugging her knees as she squeezed her eyes shut the world. Contrary. Not rationally. Rationally, Hermione knew that Voldemort's rule didn'tthink about the previous night. blot out the stars in the night sky, nor destroy the Fibonacci sequence,She norfocused on her shower. One defile the first crocuses of spring. But somehow, it surprised her that she of the most under-appreciated aspects of magic was t supply of hot water. The temperature never faltered or ran could still see that beauty. streamed down upon her. If she stayed there for an entire Somehow she had thought that the ugly coldness of her life indicated that would ugly coldness and cruel beauty were the only things left within her reach or still come out hot. When she finally forced herself to turn off the taps and clim sight. stood in the middle of the steamy bathroom trying of sum As she looked outside at the estate as it began to adorn itself with new life, willpower to dry off and dress. it made something inside Hermione shrivel. She had never felt so unmotivated. Existing seemed like su If she had a child.... it would be beautiful. Untainted. Pale, and smooth, demand. and pink. With trusting eyes that would only know to expect goodness. With hands that would reach for anyone who reached out toward it. AHermione would give anything for a book—anything to re She was sick of the news. baby would be beautiful. Pure as spring. Sweet as summer. And then it would be taken away. Hermione would die, and her baby Perhaps she would go for a walk. She hadn't been outside equinox. She didn't know if she was ever going to be able t would be left behind; trained and hurt and twisted up inside until it was a hedges again, but perhaps she could manage a walk along o cold, cruel, monster like Malfoy, and Astoria, and all the Death Eaters.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TW
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"I'm sorry," she found herself saying. She blinked. harsher relief until it made it physically painful to think—t Why was she apologizing to Malfoy? It was as if the words had slippedlive. out of their own volition. He stared at her with surprise. She tried to clarify. If only a person could die just by wishing it fervently enou "For crying. You were—" She had no idea how to describe him. Not the She couldn't eat. She could barely choke any water down. W worst rapist? five potions arrived with a note from Healer Stroud she sh "It all—just—It reminded me of Montague," she finally said, glancing a cabinet in the bathroom. away. The dread twisted itself tighter around her heart, day after "Hopefully it will be easier tomorrow," he said in a hard voice. Then he her next fertile period was drawing closer and closer. summoned his robes, and stalked from the room without another word. Malfoy walked unexpectedly into her room, and she nearly Hermione lay there, watching the hands on the clock slowly journey across He looked tense enough to shatter as he stared at her. its face. When ten minutes had elapsed she still didn't move. Maybe if She she shot to her feet as though electrocuted and then froze waited longer a pregnancy would take, and then she wouldn't have to lie There was a pause, and Malfoy looked more uncomfortabl there and endure being— ever seen him. She wasn't sure what the proper term was for what Malfoy did to her. "I thought sending word ahead of time might just make it While the general concept and situation was categorized as rape, she didn't said, watching her carefully. feel like the term fully captured what had occurred. It wasn't sex, or "I—haven't prepared," she muttered, looking away from h shagging, or f*cking, or screwing, or even "taking." Copulating, was "You shower every morning. I don't require you to be exce possibly the proper term for before, on the table. But now—it felt tooHis realvoice was as sharp as the edge of a knife. and connected and miserable for them both to use such a clinical term.The portrait apparently still kept him appraised of everythi There was no word for it. Hermione kept standing and staring at him. It felt like the She would gladly go without being touched by a man for as long as sheshe'd been in his room; trying not to tremble, wondering if lived. She didn't want to think about Malfoy arriving to repeat it all again supposed to just go over and lie down on her bed. tomorrow. Would he want her near the foot or in the center of it? The thought of life quickening within her made her sick with horror. The "Take this," he said, pulling a vial of something from his ro thought of it not— it towards her. She could endure Malfoy. She didn't think she could endure Lucius. She accepted it, and looked at the consistency and color be She rolled onto her side and fell asleep on top of the covers. the cork. A calming draught. He watched her swallow it. She felt the potion take effect as her jaw and shoulders loo twisting tension at the base of her skull relaxed somewhat. stomach that had twisted itself tighter and tighter for the la finally eased slightly. While Hermione was taking the Calming Draught, Malfoy robe again and pulled out a second potion. She was surpris
Why would he need one? Stroud had described him as perfectly virile. Trying to relax marginally. Exceptional. "Just—breathe," he said. Rape really wasn't his thing. She heard him mutter a lubrication charm the moment bef "Do—? Do I—? Should I be in the center or on the edge of the bed?"her. Hermione forced herself to ask. She tried to focus on breathing. To force herself to dwell o He stared at her. her rib cage expanding and contracting. Or her nails in her "Centre," he finally said in a clipped voice. "Given that I'm ordered toShe be could feel Malfoy's breath on her face. She smelled ced less detached." his clothing. The weight of his body pressed down against Hermione turned toward her bed. of him inside her. Her bed. She didn't want to feel any of it. She couldn't not feel it. H Where she slept every night. everywhere. Surrounding her. The sensation of him in her The only place with any sense of solace or safety that she had left. on her was inescapably real. She couldn't detach the way sh Her bed. do on the table. Where she was about to—to be? Was it rape if she'd rather it be him than She wanted to beg him to stop. his father? Better than Lucius. Better than Lucius. She bit her lip and swallowed hard as she walked over to it and tried not Shetojust wanted it to stop. start crying. She didn't mean to, but she became aware that there were She sat on the edge and then slid herself toward the approximate center down of from the corners of her eyes as she struggled not to it before forcing herself to lay back. Malfoy approached a moment later. Finally he seized and came with a hiss. He'd removed the outer parts of his robes, just wearing a shirt and The instant he did he ripped himself away from her and th trousers. Hermione opened her eyes and tried to steady her breathin She tensed as soon as he got close, trying not to grind her teeth as shethe feltbed, she became aware of the sound of retching emerg her jaw lock. She fought not to hyperventilate as he got close to her, and bathroom. she watched him with widening, terrified eyes. As she laid there, she heard the toilet flush, and then the so Her appearance seemed to set him off. running from the faucet for several minutes. "Just shut your eyes," he hissed. "I'm not going to hurt you." She tried to compose herself, and not think about the fact She forced herself to close her eyes, and tried to focus on regulating her move. Not think about the physical experience of what ha breathing as she felt the bed shift. She could smell him; the biting scent Heofhad been as considerate as he possibly could have been the forest floor suddenly struck her as she tried not to hyperventilate. It was bizarre. He was a cold, indifferent, murderous perso There was a pause, and then she felt him slide her robes aside and move casually in disembowel people, but rape crossed a line. between her legs. Did he always throw up afterward? Or was having to look Between her legs. Like Montague. worse? The sharp, cold little rocks. Maybe something had happened to someone he knew. Som She sobbed through her teeth and flinched. Her body was so tense shecared was about. Maybe it was related to his abilities with the k
And again. "I can't. I've suddenly been required in France tonight. Tha And again. here early, I won't be back to the manor until late tomorro There was blood streaming into her eyes, but she kept going. Hermione gave a small sob. Again. "Fine." She choked, and forced herself to lay back down o And again. "Just—do it." An arm closed around her waist, and a hand clamped over both wristsShe as squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on counting she was dragged away from the glass. a thousand by doubling the subtracted number each time. She fought. Trying to pull her hands free. Digging her toes into the grain Minus one. of the wood-floor to push herself back. Nine hundred and ninety-nine. Sobbing. Minus two. "Granger. Don't—don't." Malfoy's voice was close to her ear. Nine hundred and ninety-seven. She pulled futilely to free herself as she sobbed and sobbed. Minus four. She was so tired of being hurt and alone. She wanted to be done. If she Nine hundred and ninety-three. kept existing in that house she was going to try to find solace. Anything Minus eight. but being cold and alone forever and ever. Nine hundred and eighty-five. She wanted to be touched. She wanted to feel safe, even if it was simply Sheanfelt Malfoy pushing her robes aside and shivered. illusion. She wanted it— Minus sixteen. But she couldn't. Nine hundred seventy-nine. She wouldn't betray everyone like that. Harry. Ron. Minerva. Ginny... Minus thirty-two. She wouldn't betray herself like that. Malfoy's fingers near her core abruptly shredded her conce "I can't—can't—" She sobbed, trying to break free again. she let out a smothered moan as her eyes snapped open. "Don't hurt yourself. Granger, that's a command. Do not hurt yourself." Malfoy was looking down at her with wide, horrified eyes. Malfoy growled the order as he pulled her further from the window. She stared at him. She had never really seen him as someo She kept struggling. Despite five months of having him bend her over a table, "Stop." of him had never really registered. He was cold and danger The order was snarled. but only in the aesthetic, like a marble statue. Not somethi "Stop trying to physically injure yourself." His voice was shaking. Not something she wanted any kind of physical contact fro She felt the manacles around her wrists grow hot as he invoked them, She and had never, ever wanted to be touched by him in any so she struggled against the magic. Now she wanted to feel his lips against hers. To feel his ha "No–!" She sobbed as she felt the magic grow until it almost smothered weight of him that she'd been so desperate to escape from her mind and her body went limp. before—she wanted to feel it; to have him bearing down o She slumped against Malfoy. He released her wrists and wrapped his arm into her. tightly across her shoulders, as though he expected her to suddenly fling The burn of arousal in her core was mind-numbing. She h herself against the window again. need to have something inside her before, but as she lay th
disappearing in the black collar of his shirt. Hermione stayed there in shock. She felt frozen, as a cold "Just move," she said, and nearly sobbed with the effort it took not just devastation crept over her. move herself. She was—she had been...receptive. To Malfoy. A moment later, she felt him prod and slide into her, and she immediately Her pliancy hadn't been enforced by the manacles. It hadn canted her hips forward to take him deeper. to her to push him away. It hadn't occurred to her to want She buried her face in her hands and tried to tear her mind away whileHe'd she kissed her and she'd—let him. She hadn't felt repulse gasped against her palms and felt ruined. something lonely and aching inside of her. Being touched. She was shaking. warm hands caressing her. It was a longing laced right thro All she could think of was how much she wanted him to move. Hard and fiber of her. fast. Trapped in the manor, she was latching onto any scrap of Whimpers kept forming in her throat and she couldn't smother them. could She find. held herself so rigidly her entire body shuddered as she tried not to allow But it wasn't kindness. any kind of reaction. Malfoy wasn't kind; he simply wasn't cruel. He wasn't as aw The coil of want was drawing up tighter and tighter inside of her. She be. bit He possessed the meagerest shreds of decency. her lips together. She wouldn't give in. Apparently, in her fracturing mind, a absence of cruelty wa She just needed to hold out. He'd come soon and it would be over. Then solace. For her starved heart, it was enough. she could leave the potion to burn itself out of her system. His thrustsA strangled sob tore itself from her, and she gathered her r were becoming longer and harsher the way they did as he reached the herself end. and fled back to her room. He sped up slightly and she bit down hard on her tongue as she tried to Flinging the doors of her wardrobe open, she wrenched ou keep hold. robes and buttoned them up as rapidly as possible. Then s And then— arms around herself for an additional sensation of security She broke with a despairing sob. She was better than this. Her whole body spasmed around him. She could feel herself clenchingShe andwasn't going to let her psychological survival instincts seizing as he thrust into her a few more times, and then he shuddered falling with for a monster; into wanting the attention of the pers a tortured groan. for starting the war; into being receptive to the man who h After a moment he jerked away, and she barely opened her eyes in time hertofriends. see him snatch his robes off the bed and then apparate straight out of She the couldn't let her mind rationalize into falling for her rap room. She caught a glimpse of his face before he vanished; he looked because grey, he wasn't as much of a monster to her as he could as though he were going to faint. She couldn't. Wouldn't. She lay there on the bed and cried as her head slowly cleared. Reality, bitter Wouldn't. as poison, started slowly bleeding into her as she absorbed what had Wouldn't. happened. She could bear being betrayed by her body. She wouldn't l She had just had the first org*sm she had any memory of. betrayed by her mind. She didn't know if she'd been a virgin before she was sent to Malfoy. IfShe'd she rather break it.
dormant. Hermione lay unmoving for ten minutes. When the time finally elapsed she got up and went into the pulled out every remaining vial of potion and poured them before dropping the vials into the bin. When she looked up the portrait was there, watching her in Always watching. Always silent. Hermione gave her a bitter smile and then slumped to the The pale young witch stared at Hermione. Hermione felt cold, as though she were going into shock. S into a tight ball, hugging her knees and trying to breathe. She was going to go mad. e tasted of fire whiskey. She was going to go mad. It was a punishing kiss. The moment their lips touched, he She couldn't keep holding on. She didn't even know why s crushed her body against his. His hand on her throat slid back on. Why she hadn't just let herself go while she was locked and up to the nape, tangling his fingers in her hair as he deepened the Hogwarts. kiss. His other hand reached up and cradled her cheek in the palm of his hand Malfoy Manor was worse. for a moment before it slipped down along her body. She buried her face in her hands. She could feel the fluids He angled her head up as he kept kissing her. His tongue pushing intoMalfoy her on her thighs. mouth before withdrawing as he nipped her lips. Hard enough to hurt,She butfell asleep on the floor. not to bleed. Then, when she was gasping for breath, he pulled his mouth away and started kissing along her throat. Hermione was frozen in shock. Pliant and stunned in his possessive hands. He was pulling at her clothes. She could feel the outer robe slipping onto the floor, and the top buttons of the dress open as the cold manor air hit her. He ripped buttons off as he exposed her and explored her bared skin. He was grinding himself against her as he pulled the dress down over her shoulders, stripping her to the waist. The cold air bit against her skin, and she felt her nipples harden in the cold as his hands darted up to palm her breasts and tease her. His mouth was at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, and he was kissing and nipping his way along it when suddenly he reached a spot and she—moaned. They both froze. Malfoy wrenched himself away.
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and she felt her skin prickle. He sighed again. "If I'd known what pain you'd cause me, have taken you." He just stood there, holding her throat. She could feel her against his hand. She wasn't sure what he meant; if she was apologize. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. "But," he said after a minute, "at this point, I suppose I de wonder, if you'll burn too." His face was suddenly close to hers, she could feel the air f brushing against her skin. His lips crashed into hers. ermione was standing in the kitchen of Spinner's End. She turned slowly, looking over the surfaces covered with notebooks, prepared ingredients, and bubbling potions. Hermione paused as she noticed one potion shimmering in the corner. She stepped over and watched the spiraling steam rising from the surface. She sniffed it surreptitiously. The spicy, earthy scent of oak moss, smoky undertones of cedar, the bruised scent of oxidizing leaves, and parchment—no. She sniffed again. Papyrus. She stepped abruptly away and glanced at the other surrounding cauldrons. "This is quite a variety of love potions you're brewing," she said, looking over to where Severus was stooped over a simmering cauldron. "A new project for the Dark Lord. He's suddenly developed an interest in trying to weaponize it," Severus said, sneering down at the murky, lumescent liquid he was working over. Hermione felt her blood run cold. "Is that a possibility?" Severus shrugged with a faint smile. "I am both skeptical and unmotivated, so most likely not. I believe it was more of a passing notion than anything he has a sincere interest in. I'm drawing up a comprehensive report to present in case he asks about it. And I'm doing it in my home rather than in the lab to ensure no one offers any groundbreaking ideas." Hermione surveyed the room. There were ten varieties of love potion and a few aphrodisiacs she recognized, as well as an additional fifteen that appeared experimental. "What would constitute as a weaponized love potion?"
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
H
Astoria would kill it. She'd torture it to death. If it looked like Malfoy and continued to lie there; if there were an upside to her depre Hermione, Astoria would probably tear its eyes out and burn it, starveititmade sleeping easier. It was as though her body had give to death... she'd spent months cultivating had melted away and she w Hermione gasped and started hyperventilating in the hallway. listless, as though her body weighed too much to even carr There was nothing she could do. Nothing. She couldn't do anything. floor. She had spent months wishing Malfoy would die but now the thoughtShe could sleep and sleep in a state of despair for most of filled her with terror. She pushed herself off the floor, went to her room, and cli What if he was dead? covers of her bed; burrowing into them and hugging them She kept breathing faster and faster. Her hands and arms started pricking Even her brain felt tired and listless. As though even think as though there were needles grazing her skin. Her chest felt compressed much out of her. as though she were being crushed. She couldn't make herself calm down. She glanced over at the clock. It was nearly nine o'clock in Suddenly there was a shifting in the darkness. Hermione froze, chokedThere was a tray with dinner on it beside the chair, but He down a gasp, and glanced around. appetite. Malfoy stepped out of the darkness. She was certain he hadn't been there She awondered why Malfoy was in France; presumably it w moment before. people. The moonlight caught his pale hair and skin, and he looked terrifying and Would he still be masked, or would he do it openly? She w angelic at the same time. he looked like when he cast the killing curse. Most people' She stared at him, feeling her initial panic fade away. He wasn't dead orup in a revolting grimace when they cast the Killing Curse. dying. The sense of relief she felt at seeing him— Voldemort. But Malfoy's hatred and fury was so cold. Perh She tried not to dwell on it as she studied him carefully. the way he had when he was killing Montague. There was something about his face... Hermione wondered if getting exposed as High Reeve wer The tension in it seemed slightly eased from the hard cold expression If sheMalfoy were moving to seize power from Voldemort, he was so used to. He looked less on the verge of a breakdown. known. Known and feared. Being revealed had been a calc He came closer to her. His eyes traveling down her slowly as he sized perhaps; her banking on Voldemort's need for a public figure t up. If things in Romania were as unstable as had been implied "Granger." couldn't kill Malfoy now—even if he wanted to. It would l Her name rolled from his lips like a purr. She felt a shiver of uncertainty vacuum, destabilize the entire Death Eater army, and give pass through her. He never called her by her surname, not once since opportunity she to break free. had arrived. She was always Mudblood. There were no other figures in Voldemort's army that were Her eyes widened. comparable. Voldemort had local government figures, but He was drunk. Voldemort's only visible crutch on a continental level His steps remained steady and his voice was unslurred, but—she was sure The most powerful General in the Dark Lord's army was w of it. said. A General for years; that was what Malfoy had said ab She didn't move. Hermione paused puzzled. Malfoy had been a General dur
There were so many things about Malfoy that felt incomprehensible. His window. power. The point of his ambition. His ironic talent for healing. His When he did, he would find all the thoughts in her head. H apparating ability. probably taunt her. A ritual intended as a punishment... She wouldn't respond. Hermione turned over the mystery in her mind. She spent the afternoon building a card tower. It was probably what Voldemort had been referencing to when he'd The day passed. Dinner came. Malfoy did not. spoken of Malfoy deeply disappointing him. Hermione wondered whatHermione on tried not to be anxious. She tried not to keep gl earth it could be. Dark magic rituals were generally physically corrosiveclock. and She ignored the tightening sensation in her chest as mentally eroding. Malfoy seemed suspiciously, even unnaturally, intact.expecting him to appear. In fact, as she thought about it further, Malfoy was impossibly sane. He was probably doing it on purpose, she reminded hersel With the quantity of Dark Magic he was exposed to, both through his been own reading her mind when she had been thinking earlier. use and Voldemort's, he should be poisoned by it. Unless he was spending probably torturing her intentionally. all his time undergoing purification rituals, his relative health seemed She kept expecting him to eventually appear until it was pa impossible. Hermione usually was asleep. Finally she went to bed. Hermione had been ill just from entering Voldemort's Hall, while Malfoy She couldn't sleep. had seemed entirely indifferent to it; and he surely went there multipleShe just lay there, wondering why he hadn't come. Maybe times a week. People didn't become indifferent to Dark Magic. It was again. like a The newspaper hadn't said anything but perhaps he poisonous drug. Addictive. Effecting. he was out with Astoria at some event, Hermione didn't th Deadly. remembered anything being mentioned in the society page Dark Wizards tended to use more and more, and stronger and strongerjust gone to dinner. Did he and Astoria go to dinner togeth types of dark arts until they eroded themselves away the way Voldemort Hermione lay in bed wondering until the clock on the wall was, or went mad the way Lucius and Bellatrix had. nearly two in the morning. But Malfoy was intact. Physically and mentally he was—pristine. She got out of bed. There was a nearly full moon. And capable of apparating across an entire continent. She went to the door and left her room, wandering throug How on earth was that possible? hallways of the North Wing. The portrait followed her like Hermione kept turning the question over and over until she finally gave Hermione's fingers trailed along walls as she walked. She n up. She had too little information to enable any guesses. attacks inside the manor, but the sensation of the wall ben She moved on to a different problem. was steadying. She couldn't figure out how she fit in. Whatever Malfoy's scheme was,The it moonlight cast long, sharp shadows across the floors seemed like she must be somehow included in it. Malfoy was too devoted A thought abruptly struck Hermione. What if Malfoy died? to her care and maintenance for it to be otherwise. Hermione had thought even know? Probably not. Not for days. Healer Stroud wo it was simply because he was doing as ordered, but she was beginning take to Hermione to be transferred to some other legilimens. strongly suspect his attention went beyond that. He seemed personallyVoldemort and would bring Snape back from Romania and ord emotionally invested in her. The way he stared at her; the undivided impregnate her instead.
she'd practically lived in the hospital ward. were something in her memory that he didn't want unlock There was never time for friendships. When she had any spare time, Harry possibly explain it. and Ron were gone on missions. When they were back, it was generally But in even without a pregnancy, the memories were slowly b the aftermath of a battle, when Hermione's skills have been most urgently emerge. needed. She had so few memories of being with either of them in non-If she were pregnant, it would buy him nine months of exc professional circ*mstances. them. So long as she was not pregnant, arbitrary memories Then, after the Final battle, Hermione's imprisonment under Hogwarts for Voldemort to find. had been like an endless fall. Alone. Alone. Alone. Until Hermione's Why would he keep forcing them both through five days o memory had cannibalized itself. trauma? When Hermione had finally been dragged out and forced into the breeding Hermione couldn't account for it. program she had become reduced to her function. To Healer Stroud she She mulled over the question again. was a womb. To Voldemort she was a potential source of war intelligence. The only additional element she could think of was that M She was not a person. know she would rather die than get pregnant. Not to anyone except Malfoy. Would that matter to him? He treated her like a person. He answered most of her questions, and She he kept wondering until she fell asleep. looked at her as though he saw her. He talked to her. He treated her asShe was anxious all the next day; on edge and fidgeting un though she personally were of significance to him. When he hurt her itfearing she'd start picking her skin off. She barely skimmed always seemed forced and unwilling. Prophet before she began tearing it to pieces and folding it Everyone else just hurt her because they could. shape she could think of. She couldn't fold cranes, but she Even the House-elves would barely look at her. planes and all sorts of other geometric shapes. She poured There was no work to bury herself into in Malfoy Manor. No endless energy void into folding until her fingertips felt raw. to become lost in. It was just Hermione, sitting and wondering and folding She started walking through the North Wing, trailing her f paper; trapped in a cold house. along the walls as she went. Malfoy was only bit of warmth or life or human contact she had. Whether When evening came, Hermione took a bath without instru he had intended it or not, Hermione was latching onto him in her not appear but dinner did. Hermione ignored it. It was nea desperate isolation. the House-elf suddenly popped into the room. She couldn't. Topsy averted her eyes as Hermione stared down at her. He had killed everyone. He had murdered or executed them all. Willing "The or master is back. You is to get ready." not, he was raping her. She was just a pawn to him. There was a pause. She wasn't going to betray her friends' memories in such a horrific manner. "I'm already ready," Hermione said. She wasn't going to betray herself. Topsy nodded and then disappeared. If she died in Malfoy Manor she would do so clinging to the bits of herself Hermione went and sat at the foot of her bed. that remained. Like Death itself, Malfoy had stolen everything away from When Malfoy appeared at the door they stared across the r her, and he was waiting to take more. other for several minutes.
She didn't flinch when she felt the bed shift. She didn't make a sound Being 'saved' by him had affected things. when she felt him shift her robes aside and expose her. When she felt He himtouched her. No one had touched her in so long. move between her legs, she bit her lip as she continued to stare up at the He'd healed her, far more than he needed to. canopy. When he muttered the lubrication charm she balled her hand He intodidn't even want to rape her. fists. Though he insisted his protection of her was entirely born When he entered her, she gave a small gasp and turned her face towardinterest—because the he'd been commanded to—she was alm wall in despair, writhing with internal anguish. was far exceeding what obligation demanded. Her body had anticipated it. Attuned and waiting. It was ready. Wanting. The influence of the manacles also contributed to it. They' It was such a profound betrayal. intended to cultivate compliance and dependence. To rem Knowing her arousal was physiologically natural didn't ease the guilt. resist. When the rape was clinical it was endurable. When the rape was drugged If she it could resist Malfoy's violation; if he were physically was endurable. But when it was just her, her own mind and physiology,down it as he raped her, it would be easier for her to stop gr was the worst of all. It twisted and tore at something inside her. and accustomed to it. It was the lying quietly and experienc I'm being raped and my body is enjoying it, she thought bitterly and wanted to anticipation of an inevitability that she had no ability to res curl away. If the ways he hurt her were more voluntary and less oblig She thought she might just vomit. be easier to see him for who he was. She didn't want to know if Malfoy could tell the difference. Whether he Although even then, the mind was cruelly adaptive. The su knew. to survive was written into humans more deeply than almo She stared at the wall and tried not to make another sound. When he came, Survival did not require Hermione to be intact. To be dece he immediately removed himself, jerked her robes down, snatched up herself. his Survival would carve away any part of her that mad robes, and apparated. harder. She didn't turn to see what he looked like before he vanished. She justIt would smooth away the mental anguish. Latch onto eve pulled her legs closed and lay there. She could feel her tears leaving cold kindness. It would make life cease to ache. trails along her temples. If she weren't careful, it would steal away every bit of her u The next two days were the same. broken inside that she would accept her cage. There was little sense of relief the morning after the fifth day. Hermione Hermione shivered beneath the scalding water still beating just felt cold. She needed to stay away from Malfoy. Her room and bed had lost all sense of comfort to her. She wouldn't talk to him. She wouldn't let herself ask him She pulled a fresh set of robes from the wardrobe and went down the asked hall her something, she would answer as briefly as possib to the bathroom with the shower. Then she curled up into a tight ball,stop engaging with him, stop trying to understand him. seated on the floor of the shower and stayed there under the water. She might not be able to control what her body did, but sh There was no point in denying it. Things had shifted. Nothing felt theher mind. Anything he wanted from her, he would have to same. Not any longer. She dropped her head down on her knees as a sense of des The potion was a significant factor but Hermione couldn't deny the array over her.
but didn't specify any difference between psychological an if she can keep them down. However, unless she loses a dangerous amount So—in of weight or starts screaming from the pain, interfering could risk her or the a state of sufficient mental agony—she had been a She was hurting either way; she couldn't stop her mind fro pregnancy and do little more than extend the process.” The compulsion had been nullified. Malfoy’s jaw clenched. “Fine.” It was always in her mind. Stroud left shortly after that, but Malfoy stayed behind, staring down at Her interpretation of the compulsions had always been wh Hermione. her. The command to be quiet: she had interpreted it as M She closed her eyes, and tried not to dwell on how miserable she feltpermitting and her to speak without permission because she as that she might stay that way for another thirty-four weeks. Her headbehurt vindictive like that. So she hadn't been able to speak. If too much to even think. She tried to will herself to sleep. The tiny glowing interpreted it as something simpler, like not speaking loudl orb of light appeared fluttering in her mind’s eye and she curled have morespoken; unless Malfoy had clarified and specified the protectively around her stomach. further. She felt the bed shift and cool fingers touched her cheek, brushingThe backcompulsions were built upon preventing willful disob When she wasn't thinking about the fact she was disobeyin her hair and then resting against her forehead. She bit her lip and fought reacting instinctively or speaking without thinking, she'd al against crying. to get around the compulsions. She simply hadn't noticed She was so tired of crying. suppose I did," she said quietly, regaining her footing an She tried to pretend it was someone else. It’s Harry. It’s Ron. It’s"Iyour His mum, she told herself; she didn’t force herself to draw away from the touch.hands slid away from her. Something inside of Hermio the loss of contact. After another week, she began to wonder if she were going die from the He turned her and used a spell to remove the blood from pregnancy. Despite the advanced science of obstetrical healing, Magical and cast a healing charm where the skin had split. Her hea intervention in pregnancy was extremely limited. Magical pregnancies where she'd struck it. tended to either neutralize or react extremely badly to external magical "Why?" Malfoy asked in a hard voice. "Why the sudden ne influences. She looked at him. They were standing only inches apart. H Hermione could keep herself slightly hydrated. Topsy dosed hereyes withwere studying her carefully. He'd taken a sobriety poti hydration and nutrition potions multiple times a day, but Hermione could kissed her; she could smell it on his breath. "Why rarely keep them down for the few seconds necessary for her system to not?" she said in a wistful voice. "The options have escape or die." absorb them. "But this is the first time you were actually intent enough t She wasn’t sure if she actually was suffering from hyperemesis Why tonight rather than yesterday, or the day I left for Fra gravidarum, or if most of the nausea and vomiting was caused by the So he had noticed that she'd become unwillingly responsiv migraines. If she ate anything, she would immediately vomit and then retch mouth twitched and she turned her face away, pressing her until she was sobbing from the additional pain it caused her head. her shoulder. She lost almost all her muscle tone. Don't talk to him. He is not your friend.
If she answered the question, she'd have some control over the narrative. ashen and he looked half-dazed. She opened her mouth several time as she struggled with where to begin. “The fluttering is the heartbeat. The size corresponds She felt so cold her skin hurt. She hugged herself, rubbing her arms slowly. the fetus. And the brightness indicates the magic le "I think I'm beginning to develop Stockholm Syndrome," she finally said exceptional, as I had predicted.” Healer Stroud’s last wo quietly. "It's a Muggle psychological condition. A survival instinct or “Although it may make the pregnancy more traumatic f coping mechanism, I suppose you could say." children often do.” She fell silent and glanced toward Malfoy. He was expressionless, Stroud glanced over at Hermione and gave an insincere apparently expecting her to expound further. She turned away. He sighed with irritation. "So, we're doing this the hard way. Very well. Stroud spent several minutes casting various spells on and on Hermione; finally she cast one on Hermione’s Legilimency then." looked up. The glowing lights scattered across her brain all s Hermione stiffened and curled her shoulders in defensively. "It's except there was a faint tinge of gold to the light. something that occasionally occurs where a hostage can start to become attached to their captor—due to their dependence." She forced the wordsHealer Stroud turned toward Malfoy. out, her voice shaking. She didn't look at Malfoy. “Have you checked her memories recently?” She forced herself to continue. “I have not,” he said. “She’s already suffered one seiz "I don't know much about it. I didn't have much time to study psychology. legilimency performed on her when her hormone levels w But, I think I'm starting to rationalize your behavior; trying to justify what wait until her migraines and morning sickness pass. Legilim you do. A lack of cruelty becomes kindness. It's—it's a survival and traumatic, regardless of the familiarity of magical signa mechanism, so it operates through subconscious reactions and adaption. Healer Stroud nodded. “It’s likely the migraines are pri In order to try to make an authentic emotional connection, I might fugues. develop feelings for you...." Her voice broke and trailed off for a moment. Headaches during pregnancy are not uncommon, pain the diagnostic is indicating are exceeding would be rega There was a pause. "Honestly, I'd rather be raped by your father than have feelings for you," Malfoy’s expression tightened. “Is there anything that can be done?” he asked. she finally said staring at the blood on the floor. The was a resounding silence, and she saw Malfoy's hands curl slowly into“Prescribing pain relief potions during pregnancy isn’t fists at his side. result in fetal abnormalities or miscarriage in the early stage "Well," he said after several seconds, "with luck you're pregnant now and Stroud said. “You could try Muggle pain relief, if you’re tha you won't need to suffer the attention of either of us. You'll just be leftusually magically induced maladies require magical treatme alone." Malfoy eyed Stroud skeptically. Stroud jutted her chin He started turning to leave. Without thinking her hand darted out andbelieve me, you’re welcome to get a second opinion or brin caught hold of his robes. He froze. She sobbed under her breath evencorroborate as it. The mind healer informed you that the c she gripped the fabric tighter, dropping her head and resting it against his would likely be excruciating. It’s not as though anyone chest. He smelled like moss and cedar, and she shook and burrowed individual magical fugues around hundreds of their m against him. His hands rose up and rested on her shoulders until she could
He stared down at her for a moment, his jaw twitching, th There was a pause and she heard him shift. sharp breath and gave a soft, bitter sounding laugh. “Is there anything you’ll eat? That you think you could eat?” "You “Chips from a greasy spoon,” she said drolly, “Or perhaps a bag of don't have Stockholm Syndrome." He raised an eyeb "You don't care about surviving. Gryffindors are always ea crisps.” lips curled into a sneer as he said 'Gryffindors.' "After all, y There was a long silence. fantasizing a grand murder-suicide for the two of us for m “Really?” he said in a doubtful tone. the thing that's eating you isn't surviving; it's the isolation. She scoffed faintly, and it made her head throb so painfully it was as with no one to take care of. No one who needs you healer, though someone had driven a metal rod through the base of her skullHermione and stared at him as he continued. into the center of her brain. She gave a low sob. The unending, growing "You pain can't bear being alone. You don't know how to func was like having her brain slowly crushed and ground into dust. You need someone to love; you'll do anything for the peopl “Even if I could think of anything that sounded edible, I doubt I could love them. That was what the war was for you, wasn't it? Y fight, but you were smart enough to know another foolhar keep it down,” she said in a strained voice. She could almost hear him trying to think of something else to say.year Sheold duelist wasn't going to changed the outcome of th way a healer could. I don't imagine any of your friends eve rolled over and cradled her head in her arms. that, “Witches have been having children for thousands of years. Statisticaldid they? That the choice was a sacrifice for you." Hermione felt herself pale. probability indicates I’m unlikely to die from it,” she told him. "Potter and the rest of your friends were too stupid and id There was a pause. appreciate those choices you made. Quite a burden, being “My mother nearly did,” he said. His voice sounded hollow. people smart enough to understand what was necessary to Hermione said nothing else. Malfoy didn’t leave. He was still standing byones willing to actually pay the price that victory dem only her bed when she fell asleep from pained exhaustion. never appreciated any of it. You let them send you away. T Healer Stroud arrived a few days later. Malfoy loomed behind her like an back, you let them work you to death. Not much val came ominous shadow. healers—not like fighters. Even Ginny realized that. When When Stroud conjured an exam table in the center of the room, theyhegave Potter days to grieve just because he saw it. You sneered at her. “Walk the additional ten feet to her bed and cast who yourtried to save the boy, and what was it you got? Four h were expected back on shift again?" diagnostic charms there,” he said in a cold voice. "That's—that's not—how—it—was." Hermione's hands w Stroud huffed faintly under her breath and walked over to where into fists so tight the bones hurt. Hermione was curled into a ball. Stroud barely glanced at Hermione as she cast a complex diagnostic"That–is over exactly how it was. You may delude yourself, but many Hermione’s stomach. A tiny orb of pale, almost blinding bright, yellow light hours inside your memories I probably know them b own. You would have done anything for your friends; you appeared; pulsing so rapidly it was nearly fluttering. It looked almost like a made all the hard choices and paid the price without comp golden snitch but it was miniaturized, a little bigger than a pea. yourself for the war effort. But do tell me, because I'm sinc
that being a witch was why I'd never fit in. But—when I got there–I was Malfoy stared down at her unmoving for several mi still odd and bookish and no one wanted anything to do with me. Harry— pressed her hands against her mouth and tried to calm h Harry was the first person who let me be his friend. I would have donehand twitched forward slightly before he curled it into a anything for him." She gave a dry sob under her breath and swallowednod, it. and left. "Besides—it's not like there was any chance for me without him." She didn’t see him again for three weeks. There was a long pause. Topsy’s presence grew constant, although the elf was rar "That is the most pathetic thing I've heard in my life," Malfoy finally said, Hermione so much as sat up in bed, the elf would immed straightening his robes. "So, what? I'm your replacement Potter?" He scoffed. "If anyone so much as speaks to you, you can't help but latchand on ask if she wanted anything. During those three weeks, Hermione developed mor to them? Knockturn Alley prostitutes cost more than you." arrived early and with a vengeance. Hermione could hard Hermione's jaw trembled, but Malfoy wasn't done. "Let's be clear, Mudblood. I don't want you. I never wanted you. I'm not your friend. many foods, much less try to taste, or possibly swallow the There is nothing that will bring me more joy than being done with you." Fortunately, the smells of the outdoors did not bothe "I know—" Hermione said in a low, hollow voice. was not rereading her pregnancy guide, she went on long "Although..." Malfoy said after a pause, "I can't deny you've improvedmanor. on She made herself walk along the hedges, reminding me of late. I'll have to send Stroud my thanks." again that Montague was dead. He raked his eyes across her body. Hermione drew a sharp breath and She started getting headaches. It was a grinding pain glared at him. vague sensation in the back of her skull, but seemed to gro Then she scoffed. "Really? That's why you kissed me? Because of the every day. potion?" When she was not walking or reading, she curled up in h He shrugged and stared at her mockingly, eyes cold. "What can I say? Rape As her pregnancy continued to progress, her head began isn't really my 'thing'. However, your growing attachment is both she fascinating and amusing to experience. I never imagined you'd be the sort began clenching her jaw subconsciously to try to deal w pain. The daylight worsened the headaches; bright sunshi to fantasies that my mandatory care of you indicated some sort of bed attachment. I can't even begin to guess how amused the Dark Lord will beas she tried not to vomit from a combination of morn to witness it in a few days. Potter's Mudblood, falling for her Death Eater pain. Within days, the pain grew so severe she couldn’t rea rapist. I didn't think it was possible for you to be more pathetic, but Topsy added dark, heavy drapes that kept out almost a apparently with Mudbloods there is always a lower point." room. He turned to leave but then paused. "I'll be back later to deal with your She ate steadily less and less. When she didn’t eat or g memories. Please don't assume that I'm dead because I occasionally have twoadays Malfoy finally reappeared. better use for my time than wading through your tragic little life." She heard him enter but didn’t pull her arm away f He snorted derisively one last time and stalked out of Hermione's room. acknowledge him. When he returned the next day, Hermione had barely moved. He stared at “You need to eat,” he said. her for several minutes. She didn't look up or acknowledge him.
he withdrew and left without a word. “Malfoy,” she said again. Her jaw trembled and she gripped the poster Hermione felt—dead. If she'd looked in the mirror and fo of the bed. “I will never ask anything of you—“ ghost His mouth twitched and his gaze hardened. She felt something inside her she would have barely been surprised. Cold nothing. break with despair but she forced herself to continue. That was all she felt. “You can do anything you want to me. I will never ask for any mercy She lay in bed and mouthed apologies to her friends for fa from you. But—please, please don’t hurt the baby. Even—if you have a When Stroud arrived six days later, Hermione wordlessly c different heir, it’s—it’s still half yours. Don’t—don’t—don’t—“ and seated herself on the edge of the exam table; mechanic Her chest started to stutter as she struggled to breathe and notmouth start for the veritaserum. crying. She shook. "You're looking rather grey," Stroud said, her mouth quirk “Don’t let Astoria hurt it…” she said in a broken voice. “Please— studied her. "How did the conception effects go this mont please—“ "I don't know. Isn't that why you're here?" Hermione said Her voice cut off as she started hyperventilating. She clung tostaring the down at her lap and rolling the fabric of her robes b fingers. bedpost as she struggled to breathe. Stroud gave a cold laugh. "Clever." Malfoy crossed the room and took hold of her shoulders. “No one is going to hurt your baby,” he said, meeting her eyes. There was a pause as Stroud cast the pregnancy detection c She pulled away from him, freeing one shoulder. “Don’t—don’t longer make pause. "You're pregnant." Stroud's tone was triumphant. promises to me that you don’t mean.” Hermione's hands stilled. His expression flickered and he caught her shoulder again, running his No. hands along her arms. “You have my word. No one will hurt your Please, baby. no. Astoria will never touch it.” It felt as though Hermione had been abruptly forced deep Hermione bit her lip as she stared up at him and struggled to stop water; over- no air, and pressure, as though she were being crush breathing. Her lungs kept spasming without her control. Her whole She bodycould hear her heart-rate surge up until the sound of h shook as she kept dragging in sharp panting breaths and then immediately was almost all she could hear. releasing them. Stroud started speaking, but Hermione couldn't make out words. “No one will hurt it. Calm down now,” he said firmly. “You need to She couldn't breathe. breathe slowly.” Stroud She leaned into his hands for a moment, resting her head against his chest was speaking to her more and more loudly. The wo as she tried to draw a slow breath; then she froze and tore herself away rounded from and indecipherable. Hermione gasped and tried to oxygen, but her throat felt compressed—as though she we him, backing up to the wall. strangled. “Don’t— amuse yourself with me,” she said, her voice trembling. “I don’t Her heart was beating so hard there was sharp stabbing sen want your promises or attention in order to ‘maintain’ my ‘environment.’” her chest.
Hermione couldn't breathe; her lungs were burning as she tried to. The She clutched at the edges of her book reactively as he st edges of the healer's face were blurring, as though she were bleeding into with a contemplative expression. the surrounding air. “When did you last go outside?” he finally asked. Everything was growing blurrier and blurrier. There was a sensation of Hermione hesitated and swallowed. “The day you went needles sinking into Hermione's arms and hands. outside.” Suddenly Malfoy was in front of her; his hands on her shoulders. His eyes narrowed. “For how long?” "Calm down." Hermione jutted her jaw out slightly and flushed. “Less His hard voice cut through the blurring. Irritation flickered across his expression. “And before t "Breathe." Hermione was silent and dropped her eyes. Hermione gasped, drawing a ragged breath; then she burst into tears. No. No. Don't be pregnant. Give her to Lucius, let him rape and torture “You haven’t been outside since the equinox, have you Hermione stared down, unblinking, at the page in fron her to death. Every time she drew in a breath it felt as though there were a knife being words blurred. Malfoy sighed. dragged down inside her esophagus. “Get up,” he ordered. "Oh god—No..." She sobbed the words over and over as she shook. She stood up, clutching her book tightly across her "Breathe. Keep breathing," Malfoy said. His expression was drawn. His another sigh. jaw clenched as he stared down at her and watched as she tried to draw “You cannot bring that, it weighs nearly five pounds. I’m breath. drag it around the estate. Leave it here.” It took several minutes until she stopped merely dragging in stuttering Hermione held it tighter. He raised his right hand inhalations, and gradually began inhaling and exhaling alternately. His grip temples as though he had a headache. slowly loosened and he slowly turned to glare at Healer Stroud. His “No one is going to steal it or take it if you leave it her expression was enraged. buy "You know she is prone to panic attacks. You cannot spring information you another one. Leave it.” The final words were a co on her," his said in a furious voice, still holding Hermione firmly by the Hermione reluctantly put it down on her bed and then her boots from the wardrobe. While she was getting ready M shoulders as she continued crying. "I thought the panicking was solely caused by open spaces." Stroud folded the window, studying the horizon. Then he turned sharply her arms over her chest, and raised her chin. "Given how terrified sheher is ofbriefly before striding toward the door. your father, I thought she'd be relieved." Hermione followed him slowly. "Perhaps try thinking more," Malfoy said icily. "I am beginning to suspectHe paused at the door of the veranda and looked over a that you are intentionally traumatizing her. You threatened her with my go near the hedge maze.” father and dosed her with a aphrodisiac without warning. Are you trying to He led her through the rose gardens and then along cause her to have a mental breakdown?" lined with blossoming fruit trees. The estate was lovely in s Healer Stroud snorted as she cast a diagnostic on Hermione. "I'm not couldn’t deny it, but the beauty felt bitter and poisonous as doing anything that risks compromising her memories; there's no need to
Hermione didn’t say anything. Malfoy remained standing beside her"She bedwas a Resistance terrorist trained throughout Europe healer for several minutes before he sighed faintly. She heard his retreating specialized in deconstructing Sussex's curses; not to she had a Potion mastery. If she could take apart and neut footsteps and the click of the door. sheup could also use it. If you'd been so curious you could ha She stayed in bed, and alternated between crying and sleeping; curled he said in a cold voice. "Psychologically torturing her is no tightly, wrapping her arms around her stomach protectively. you answers, particularly since she has no memory of it. Yo “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” she whispered again and again. not an opportunity to exact revenge. You appear to have f “I would do anything to spare you from this world.” do not suffer fools tampering with her." Malfoy reappeared after four days. "I wasn't—" “You cannot lie moping for nine months,” he said. “You need to"You eat. were. The Dark Lord placed her under my care. You You should go outside.” how precarious she is. I have gone to considerable expense Hermione ignored him and hoped he’d leave. Unless he intended to maintain her environment. Given that Dark Lord made no force her from the bed she had no intention of moving. There was awhen long I executed one of his marked followers for interferen really think he'd trouble himself over you?" silence. She could feel his eyes on her. Stroud's pallor grew deathly. "My program—" “I have something for you,” he finally said. "Is a farce." Malfoy sneered as he said it. "The reason you She felt something heavy press into the coverlet and cracked an eye open. alongside your 'colleagues' in Sussex is because your propo There was a thick book laid beside her. A Guide to Effective Care in Magical qualify as scientifically sound enough to qualify for a labor Pregnancy and Childbirth. Where are your controls? Or your statistics and historical d She closed her eyes again. spectacle you're so willing to provide the society pages is fu “I can’t touch your books,” she said, her mouth twisting as she spoke staffed to easily carry on without you." Malfoy's eyes glitte and her voice shaking faintly. “Astoria had them all warded against he spoke. "This is the only warning I'll offer. You are no lo Mudbloods.” to be alone with her. Today's appointment is over. If you h “This is not from the manor library.” Malfoy’s tone was faintly amused. instructions regarding her care, you'll give them to me. Top “It won’t burn you.” The House-elf appeared with a crack. Malfoy didn't remov There was a pause. Stroud. "Escort Stroud to the drawing room. I'll be down when I'm “I will expect you to get out of bed tomorrow.” with the situation here." After he left, Hermione opened her eyes again and tentatively reached Stroud huffed, but she was still pale and her hands shook a toward the book, resting a finger lightly on the cover. There was no burning her files. As the door shut, Malfoy turned back to stare do sensation as she came in contact with it. She had stopped crying and was trying to breathe steadily. She pulled it closer, drawing it against her chest and holding it tightly. He gave a low sigh and then pulled her to her feet. The next day, Hermione forced herself out bed and went over to the "Come," he said as he led her across the room to her bed, window. The book was brand new; the leather spine creaked slightly as she carefully before reaching into his robes and withdrawing a
"It's fine." She glanced up at Malfoy. How on earth would he know that? He met her eyes. "I was concerned something like this might happen if you ever got pregnant. I verified it." She continued to hesitate. "I'm not asking. If you refuse I will make you," he said in a hard voice. Hermione pressed her lips together and swallowed hard as her chest continued to stutter. She unstoppered the vial unsteadily and brought it to her lips. As soon as she swallowed the contents, she choked and burst into tears again. The vial slipped from her hands and plunged down onto the floor, shattering. "Oh god..." She sobbed into her hands as the potion hit her system and hen Hermione opened her eyes, it was late overtook her mind like a black tidal wave. She sank onto the bed. "Oh her head, she found Malfoy standing in fro god...oh god...please." on the wall, speaking to it in a low voice. Her eyes slid shut as she continued to cry. She was dimly aware of her legs The witch in the painting immediately caught sight been lifted up onto the mattress. Darkness swallowed her. "I'm sorry, Granger." movement and gestured over his shoulder. He stopped spe on his heel to stare at her. He looked tired and singularly unenthused by his impen Hermione felt as though she were going to be sick. She squeezed her eyes shut, curled into a defensive ball start crying again. She could hear the clipped sound of Mal crossed the room and approached her bed. There was a long silence and she could feel his gaze on her chin down against her shoulder and willed him away. “You are not allowed to hurt yourself, or do anyth abortion or miscarriage.” It was not a statement, it was a command. She could heat around her wrists. “I’m sure you’ll try to rationalize it as being protective get around the compulsions, but it is not. You are not allow to end your pregnancy.” She could feel the prick of tears in the corner of her
CHAPTER TWENTY-FI
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when she was awake, she was hardly more responsive. He would sit down on the edge of her bed and smoo sometimes he would take her wrist and pull her hand into h he did it she thought he was playing with her fingers, b realized he was massaging her hand; tapping the tip of his various pressure points, sending mild vibrations into the m bend and massage her fingers and palm lightly. He was doing what healers did to treat the tremors fro she realized. He must have memorized the technique due t he needed the treatment. She didn’t pull her hand away. She told herself it was only because it might make her h she moved. As the end of May approached, her head steadily hurt She grew thinner and thinner until the manacles could slid forearms. Topsy became fretful and began to meet Hermi softly entreated Hermione to try to swallow more potion peppermint or ginger tea. Malfoy began to hover. He had to leave to ‘hunt’ an duties that Hermione tried not to think about, but he was o He didn’t talk to her. He rarely met her eyes, but he smoot held her hands and fidgeted with the manacles around her w when she opened her eyes she’d find him staring at her never tried to touch it. She was almost nine weeks pregnant when she ab panicking. There was something—something she needed to be rea She couldn’t remember— It was important. The most important thing. The thing she couldn’t forg She needed to be ready.
She was supposed to be doing—something. The sensation of her wrist, shattering under an iron g What was it? Topsy appeared. “Is you needing anything?” “You seem pleased to have successfully whor*d yourself. “No,” Hermione said in a shaking voice as she wracked her mind and you’ve got your chess piece locked in place? tried to think. Oh god, what was it? Her heart started to race as she struggled Harry was standing in front of her, pale and enraged, his face crus to remember. To think through the blinding pain. “If that’s how little you believe in us then you aren’t someone whose h There were black spots steadily dancing in her vision, growing larger and She was sitting next to Tonks, who was staring at Hermione larger. The pain in her head kept growing. suspicious. “How many people did you kill today, Hermione? Ten? F Malfoy was suddenly in front of her. Did he apparate? She didn’t hear know?” it. “What—?” he started and broke off when he found her standing in front Minerva McGonagall, gripping a teacup, her voice shaking, “Y of him. is not a fate you deserve. And yet, it seems as though you’re determ “I—can’t—remember...,” she forced out. “I’m— supposed to—hold— yourself if it means winning.” ” Her own voice, “If my soul is the price of protecting them—o Her voice broke off in a low cry as the pressure in her head grew so That’s—that’s not a price. That’s a bargain.” intense she thought she’d pass out. Her vision wavered. She blinked, trying to see, and when her sight cleared she found Malfoy had a knife in his hand. “You’re mine. You swore yourself to me,” growled into h She looked up at him, startled. His expression was cold and intent as he Severus looking coldly at her, “If you manage to succeed you’re jus lunged toward her. the Order as save it.” She fell back, trying instinctively to ward him off. Hermione crying, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I did this to you.” The moment before he stabbed her, Malfoy suddenly vanished. Finally, Malfoy was standing over her, his face white, his eyes gli Alastor Moody was standing in front of her. Grim-faced and tired.have “Anwarned you. If something happens to you, I will personally ra opportunity has come up. One that could change the tide of the war.” That isn’t a threat. It is a promise. Consider your survival as muc Before Hermione could say anything, Moody was gone and shesurvival was of the Resistance as Potter’s. If you die, I will kill every last falling. It was like falling as the past broke free, surging up th No, she wasn’t falling. and swallowing her. Malfoy was holding her by the throat and slamming her into the ground. There was the punch of a knife blade sliding between her ribs. She was in the middle of a battlefield. Everyone was falling to the ground, suffocating. Harry. Ron. Death Eaters. Everyone was dying around her and she was screaming. “How many times do you think I can stab you before the light goes out in your eyes?”
